Unspoken Words From that One Curly Fry in the Box of the Regular

Good Morning Friends!

2011-08-03T08:36:00.002-04:00

Everyday as I drive in my car, I think to myself "today is going to be a great day! I am going to let my little light shine like there is no tomorrow. I am not going to let negative energy suck me into a mood of pessimism, I am going to treat people how I want to be treated and for the people who do not reciprocate, I am going to have patience with them and try to kill them with kindness". Then I get in the hustle of my day to day activities of being the woman of the house, full-time punching bag for a big company, and just your average person, who deals with traffic, long lines, bills, etc. Before I know it, my hopes of radiating positive energy go down the drain, and I end my day feeling defeated. I am not depressed......I think that many people have this feeling. I think I have one small thing that we all can do that will change things for everyone dramatically. It is not a new idea and unheard of, but I will re-introduce it in a moment.
First let me tell you that I smile a lot!!! As I look in the mirror, I see lines forming where my smile creates wrinkles from facial expressions. I know that I make many people happy with this and when I think about the compliments that I get, and the "thank-you " comments that I receive and warm attitudes that I feel, I realize that half of what I set out to do really is accomplished, and only when another person, intentionally or not, smears their negative energy onto me do I start to change. I am guilty of this, too. Sometimes I complain, or when something goes wrong with a company, I act impatiently with the first person who I can talk to. I pride myself on not doing this often. I do not do this to simply get my way, I usually do this when I am beyond fed up and "nice" isn't cutting it anymore. However, I need to be more conscious of who I talk to like this, and who I spread my negative feelings towards. I do not know what the other person on the line is going through, I do not know them at all. And when I think about it, I know it is usually not their fault, but I need to vent. When people are angry or hostile towards me when they call in, I often times will do anything to make them shut-up! I will go above and beyond to do things that are soooo not in my reach or job description, often bothering other employees to get the job done, and it is sad that this behavior has to be used for things to get done.
I will say that I am nice to waiters and waitresses and generally everyone that I come into face to face contact with. I understand that they do not cook the food, set the prices and that often times they have heard a ton of people complain about things that they can not do anything about and I do not want to be the cause of even five minutes of their frustration. But when you can not see the person it is harder to do that. (I can not STAND someone who is rude to their servers or doesn't tip decently, that is my ultimate pet peeve. I will de-friend you, or never go out with you again. I think this is a way to determine how someone treats the people who they are closest with, too. If you are rude, unappreciative and disrespectful to people who wait on you, you probably would be to anyone that will let you get away with it. This is major sign of insecurity or the complete opposite.)
I ask of you today, wherever you are, to realize all of this before you deal with the general public. Take the time to put a face with a voice, start out your conversation with a smile or at least with respect- let the person know that you are upset and want your issues resolved, but be kind when doing this before you become a psycho maniac and verbally beat them to a pulp to get your way. If you are in line at the grocery store and it is taking too long, try to smile at least twice to the person who just took forever to ring the person in front of you up. Try to keep in mind that your server does not take orders and cook food, and may have another table who is sooooo demanding that she can not get away from them (if it is a very small section- and no one is there and your food is cold-it is his/her fault. If not, then you have no way of knowing). Where ever you are, try to let the way that you want to be treated influence the way you treat others. The Golden Rule.....it sounds so cliche, because it rings true.
" CONSCIOUSNESS IS EVERYTHING (be conscious of how you treat people) You get what you give, you reap what you sow, you pull in what you put out. These things I know for sure!"- Madonna

A Long Rant. Reception for Dummies

2011-08-02T13:52:00.005-04:00

Yes, I am a 29 year old receptionist. Children, this is what happens when you do not put much thought into your career as a child. You say that you want to be a "RockStar, a fireman and a vet". NOPE, gotta pick just one, and deal with it. Or at least go to college for just one thing and then get a somewhat respectable job at a bank that has nothing to do with it. I would have been better off getting a degree in Paranormal Phsychology- as long as it is a four year degree-or a two year degree and become a nurse.

Well, I went to college, but never finished. I guess that is what happens when you act like a grown-up but aren't and get pregnant by a guy who you think you are in love with. Even when I was in college, I didn't know what I wanted to be. I knew what I was interested in, and it fell in the Psychology, Science, Biology fields...HOWEVER, I did NOT want to become a nurse. So, I took a job as a receptionist again when my daughter was young. I was so darn good at it, that I was made an Administrative Assistant AND the receptionist at the same time. Woohoo! Yeah, I can multitask like that. HAHA. Little did I know, that because I still answered the phones, I would always be considered as just the receptionist and in the future, it would be easier to be employed as a receptionist than an Admin. Assistant.

10 years later (from first becoming a receptionist before my daughter was born) I am still a receptionist. The company that I work for now, though, has you do more administrative duties than most receptionists, but you still get looked at like a proverbial idiot who can only answer calls. And people say that I "only got my job because I am pretty" REALLY? THIS JOB? What are pretty people supposed to do if not work as receptionists? Scoop Icecream until they are old and wrinkeled and THEN get solid careers? Well, I am a receptionist- Which is fine, the pay is not bad (not great-hanging up the dream of making 6 figures soon) and I get great benefits. I have some down time (I usually am not bored, however, there is an hour or so during the day where I do like most receptionists and surf the web) and I have great bosses. My co-workers are extremely nice to me (probably out of pitty because I am obviously somewhat mentally challenged to be a receptionist) and I do not have deadlines, work that follows me home, or the constant fear of losing my job because I goofed up.

This is what gets to me: In order to go to the dentist, the doctor, the bathroom, lunch or to stay at home because you have the swine flu, you have to have a backup, and no one wants to do it. So you hold your bladder all day, take tons of vitamins and lose weight. The entire office thinks that I am their assistant. I do not mind helping anyone, and there is not a pecking order in who I help- JUST DO NOT BE DEMANDING, and I will order your supplies, order your cards, arrange your lunch meeting, schedule your appointments, call the vending machine company because the Coke Machine took your last three dollars (if it doesn't work twice, why try again???? Call me dumb, but I wouldn't) call the maintenance company because the A/C is out, the bathroom is filthy, the toilet is overflowing (I know it was you, because I saw you go in and come out alone, and no one else complained before you) sign for the Fedex, U.P.S, postal, postal Express, listen to you cry about your pets, complain about your bosses and salary, book you a conference room and just for the VP's....call and have someone cut down the tree that you need removed at your vacation home. ALL WHILE ANSWERING THE CONSTANT CALLS THAT COME THROUGH. You would think that calls come through and everything goes like this:

Me: Thank you for calling Blippidy Blank Blank, how may I direct your call?

Caller: Elvis Presley, please

Me:Sure, hold please

Elvis Presley: Hello.........................

and that would be the end of it, most of the time...................NOT!

The calls go more like this

Me:Thank you for calling Blippidy Blank Blank, how may I direct your call?

Caller: I have been trying to reach Elvis Presley for 10 years and keep getting his voicemail

Me: Have you left him a message?

Caller: No, I need to talk to him now. Can I just talk to his manager if he is not there?

Me: *thinking "well, you should leave him a voice message because he is always on the phone, so you won't ever get through" but instead I say...

Me: Sure, hold one second.

Then the game of Duck Duck Goose begins where I try to locate the manager, get the manager,who says the call does NOT go to them, then I call the person who the call is supposed to go to but they are not there..................... All of this while notarizing documents, being a gate keeper and buzzing people in the front doors, taking payments,handing out supplies to employees as they come to my desk, answering emails, and booking conference rooms, contacting other Managers to let them know (via I.M) that the person that they are interviewing is here, then letting the person that they are interviewing know that the Manager is on vacation and forgot about them (without letting them know that), all while trying to sound interested as people stop by to shoot the sh*t, hold my pee, and look for the number for ADT because the security settings on the doors wont let employee's in when they swipe their badges, etc, etc, etc. (Did I mention that when someone forgets their badge, I have to stop all of this and let them into wherever they work in the building and then do the same thing for them when they need to go to the restroom,etc?)

I stay pretty busy, so if you think that I am purposely not putting calls through because I just am sitting here filing my nails, you are sadly mistaken-even more so if you think that yelling at me, telling me that you are going to come down and "break legs" if your account issue isn't resolved, or that you are "fed up and will drive from Hawaii to N.C" (good luck) or that you "have family that lives 15 minutes away (I do too, wanna have a picnic?) to do damage" is going to get you your way. All that it is doing is pissing off the one receptionist in the world who actually will send an email to the person who you can not get a hold of, or try to help you get in touch with the right person instead of transferring you to an automated customer service line like most receptionist would. Talk to me with respect, make me feel bad for you or tell me a sob story, but DO NOT get demanding because I am busy, and not required to go the extra mile for you, but will if you act in a decent manner.

The end.

My view on Casey Anthony and what can be done

2011-07-12T11:08:00.003-04:00

"In order to be forgiven, you must forgive." This goes through my mind periodically, as I find myself obsessed over poor Caylee Anthony's murder and how her horrible mother got away with it. It wasn't anyone whom I knew, it wasn't my family, and yet I still cannot shake this terrible hate that I have for this woman and what she did. I cannot help but to wish the worst for her. I am still hurt by what the jury agreed upon. I do not think about this non-stop, but if I watch the news or read the papers, it definitely is what I skim the page for and I do listen closer. I still have a hard time seeing Caylee's pictures. I did not know her, but as a mother of two-one girl who is 8 and one boy who is 16 months, it hurts to think of the crime that was done to her. It should hurt any human....but I wonder about mankind now more than ever for some reason and their evil or apathetic hearts. It is not like this is the first child to be treated horribly, this does not mean that I don't still hurt for other murder victims. But in this case, a narcissist walked free- knowing that she outsmarted everyone and that she will profit for something horrible that I feel that she did, but even if she didn't, that she let happen.....or that she failed to do as a mother.
To many people it is water under the bridge by now. Something that should disappear, but to many others it is a terrible terrible tragedy that will not go away easily, without leaving scars of what kind of place America has become. One where a woman can kill her two year old, and then party for 31 days instead of reporting her child missing. I don't even want to go into the rest.
I don't want to beat a dead horse.
I just beg that any of you who read this do not HELP this woman to make more money than she already will. I pray that none of you buy her books, buy magazines that have her interviews, watch her "Made for TV" movie when it comes out, or in any way help her to further profit off of the murder of her child. It may be tempting, but please don't. I know that she will never make a true friend again, and that she will probably use the money to buy drugs or live a lonely terrible life, but I still don't think that this sociopath should profit.
Also, it is no myth that you can be tried and acquitted for a crime in State Court, and then be tried again in Federal Court. It is not double-jeopardy when it is two different entities. (I asked a lawyer yesterday and a friend who studied law). It may or may not happen that she will get tried again (I think we would hear about it by now) and this petition may not do anything, and the jury may claim that they "lack evidence" again, but who knows? A different jury may be the ticket to finally getting justice for this poor sweet girl. Please go here here and sign. It takes two minutes, if that. Please spread the word.

Life's little secrets from your everyday idiot

2011-02-16T13:27:00.003-05:00

I am not ever going to be a "Mommy Blogger" not because I don't love being a mother and think that is my most important job, but because (a) I am not a good "blogger" and (B) Mommy is just one huge part of who I am, I still have a little bit else left to me.

I once heard someone say that when you hand over your problems to the Lord you don't know that they have gone until you remember to worry about them. That when you leave your old selfish life behind; you don't miss it. You don't miss your drunken saturday nights, or your hysterical cursing matches with your ex boyfriend. You don't miss the gambeling.You don't miss the drugs you do in only the company of your coolest friends, or the meaningless sex with that married man that you soooooo dont want to live without right now. God's love comes and take the place of that euphoria away, and you actually feel something that leaves you joyous and hoepful instead of hungover or paranoid. You feel something that can't fail you, and won't leave you.

I think for (Most) moms, becoming a mother is the same way (not a close comparison to God's love, bc nothing is on the greater scale.....but as much as we can fathom on earth). For a split second I might miss going out and partying with my friends, or the money I wasted on frivilous things, or the time I had to soak in vanity........but it's a mere second....and it's gone and I smile in my heart bc without a doubt...my children filled my life so much that the need they had for me, pushed out those things I clung onto in youth....and good riddens!

Another life lesson that I have learned is to believe cliches. They are overused because they usually ring true. You cannot fail when you......
Are always prepared.
Live and let live.
Forgive and forget.
Remember that "zebra's cant change their stripes"
misery loves company
hindsight is 20/20
you learn from your mistakes but its best to learn from others
you can't slow down the hands of time
wait until you are ready
go the speed limit
time heals
it's okay to cry
If they dont like you for who you are, they arent worth it
be YOURSELF
do unto others as your would yourself

and the list goes on.............................

I also have recently found truth in the fact that everything dark gets brought into the light at some time. If not in front of a large crowd when you want it, to the person who needs to hear it most, in their own little moment in their own little time. So when you are holding onto regret and anger and resentment, know that " it's like throwing a hot coal at someone"....you still get burned. And often times we hurt more than they do from holding that hot coal for so long. For some reason it takes them a lot longer to recieve it, then it does us for holding onto it, waiting. And it's funny how God orchestrates that. Their is an amazing message in the fact that he knew people were going to deal with resentment and he also knew it left them better then before the event happened that got them upset to begin with when they learned to let it go.
Truth be told, God allows us to go through ugly places, phases and things. In the Bible they called it the Wilderness and he sent the people he loved dearly through the wilderness time and time again. I am sure it heart his heart to see them GO through it, but not to COME OUT OF IT, because it is then that we understand how Faith, Love and Prayer and like muscles taht we have to work out and depend on. You can't do it alone, and when you HAVE FAITH in HIM through the wilderness, it brings him so much joy to walk you out of it.

I'm venting.........please excuse me.

WOW

2011-02-15T09:36:00.002-05:00

It has been such a long time since I have been on this site! I am going to make a conscience decision to log in and write, not for you all (because yall dont care- you are better about this than I am -and I am embarrased at my slackness) but for me. I think writting is a catharsis!
SO much is going on. Where do I start. Moved to a new town into a new house that I am still getting used to cleaning up. My son is almost a year old (March 11th) so that means its been a really long time since I have talked with you all! My daughter started 2nd grade and is doing excellent in school. My daughters father and I are going through a custody battle again and that is STRESSFUL to say the least. Lawyers can be bottom feeders! Nick and I still arent married. I cant MAKE him marry me today and although I would like to, I know waiting until the summer is best.
Andrea and I were baptized and I feel like a new woman. I still have my struggles at times, but I cannot explain the feeling that God put into my heart. It's pretty amazing. Ill get more into that later. I just wanted to drop by and say "hello" and hopefully I still have a reader or two to connect with :D

Anyone ever felt "Pregnant and Miserable

2010-02-13T08:55:00.000-05:00

Holding a Baby

2010-02-07T12:35:00.002-05:00

I held my best friends newborn baby yesterday for the first time,and I almost cried! She looked at me like I was strange,but "ohmyGod" My heart was beating out of my chest! This precious little person, this miniture human,stole my breath away as I held her naked (diapered body) against my chest. I cradled her precious little head in my hand,and I felt like I was home! It was sudden. Heather was changing her diaper and outfit,and the doorbell rang. She handed her to me,quickly, without notice for the first time,and I didnt want to let go.
It took me back to where I SHOULD have been when my daughter was born. Dont get me wrong,I had those feelings,but they came with time,after fear and lack of confidence left. If someone would have just handed her to me, like "here,take her"...I wonder if I would have not been so scared. Maybe I should have held more babies,but I don't think that mattered, I was just scared and unsure. Being so young has it's positives and negatives.
As I held that newborn beauty,(she reminded me of the cutest little monkey I had ever seen!!!) I wanted to breath her in! I remember feeling that way when Andrea was about 2 weeks old,when I could actually breath again. I remember knowing what it felt like for my heart to be so bare and naked and exposed that I understood what it meant to have it outside of my chest. But for the first few weeks, I was just too paranoid and scared. I was terrified,I didn't think I was qualified. I did until I saw her beautiful little face after delivery,and I remember (probably post-pardum depression induced)thinking, "Did God make a mistake? How could a fool like me, someone so unworthy,be granted this responsibility?" I walked on pins and needles and rarely slept,because I was too scared to miss something. This time around,with Nolan...I am happy to have the experience,and although I am sure I will still feel unworthy,I am excited to have a little more confidence when they first hand him to me. Those little moments count so much!

Men need Filters!!!

2010-02-07T12:24:00.002-05:00

I am not a naturally pretty girl. SURPRISE! It doesn't take a ton to be presentable,but I do not wake up,shower, blowdry my hair and go. I need styling products,and a round brush,special conditioners,and a flat iron. After that I need something to tame the frizzyness. I could walk around without makeup, but everyone asks if I am sick. I am very irish, so my skin isn't pale,but another surprise...IM WHITE! Not olive,tan or rosey...yellowish,white,and dark circles show up under my eyes. I need AT LEAST powder,blush mascara and eyeliner to walk out of the house comfortably. I have to go to the gym. I like to have color of some sort,even if it is a faux tan. THAT IS JUST ME. I don't mind,because I am happy with the end result, but pregnancy adds new challenges to my daily rituals. I'm anemic,so dark circles and pale face is something I have gotten used to, so in order to go out and look healthy, I need more blush,bronzer,and concealor. No faux tanning,and I'm advised NOT to exercise,so........I don't FEEL pretty. Nick called me "ugly" today,supposable joking. I don't get the humor. I'm normally like "whatever" to that type of thing,but right now...I FEEL UGLY! I don't know whether to crawl under a rock,or kick him in the face! UGHHHH! Why can't men just watch their mouths like we do? Do I tell him if his breath stinks,or his shirt make his new growing gut look big, NO! Do I tell him that I hate his cologne,that he thinks smells sooooo great? NO...maybe I should! Nope, because we as women are better than that. God gave us filters!!! Thankfully, so now I dont feel like a pompous ass, like he probably does as he sits alone in the other room.

Junior's Cheesecake

2010-02-05T16:11:00.002-05:00

Has anyone ever been to Juniors Cheesecake in Brooklyn. I try to stay away from Brooklyn....and up North all together. I went to NYC once and not only were people terribly rude to me and did not say "good morning" or "hello" in return when I said so while walking down the street,but the sales clerks weren't even nice,and someone stole my camera and ran off with it. I did however meet a really nice "tap" dancer (or at least she called herself that,because she tapped nude on some stage) in a really popular Italian Resteraunt where Garfield was created.(dang it,what was the name of that resteraunt?). I wasn't really impressed. Not so much that I would travel back. But, I may actually make a trip out to Brooklyn for Junior's Cheesecake,IF THEY WERENT SO KIND AS TO DELIVER, or should I say "ship" it to your house for $41! Hey, but it's a whole pie! I am dying for a piece now. I saw it on tv, and my mouth started watering the way a dog's does as it stares at you with no pride in front of the dinner table! Has anyone ever had one of these pies (or even a slice?) bc I am going to be one pissed off preggo lady if I order a forty buck pie and Sarah Lee does it better!

Why I Wear a Mask

2010-02-05T15:52:00.003-05:00

As many of you know,I am pregnant,and a full time student (which kinda blows) who is about to drop my intermediate math (its basically an L.D math class) because it is too hard. I am however doing well at my other courses. In one class I had to write a relationship essay, dealing with personal addiction or a daily ritual. This was going to be tough.
I learned early on that in writting,you often write about what you can support,or have knowledge of, not necessarily what is true or what you really feel. I could write a lot about an addiction to heroine or Meth. although I have never done either,I could find a lot of info on the net to write about and support clearly. That would be interesting too. Everyone would love reading about how they are in class with a junkie...but since I am pregnant and dont want DSS called, I had to rule out drugs,alchohal,and for self-respect,ciggerettes. So what does that leave me? Coffee (taken)and excercise. Can't be too addicted,I am about to have the baby in class. So, I wrote about makeup. Hey,it's not necesarilly an addiction,but it is a daily ritual that is not hurting anyone (ok,you tree huggers. Picket somewhere else,I went to a Paul McCartney concert too,and felt like a murderer then,so save it). Is it superficial and shallow,yes, Clever,no. But, oh well. I could support my topic. Now, if the bitch would just grade it so I can breath again!
I started it with a quote from The Princess Bride that says " Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid or something? Oh, no. It's just that they are terribly comfortable. I believe that in the future,everyone will be wearing one.
Then I go on to talk about my daily ritual as though it is a mask, or face transplant,never really saying that it is "makeup", and I talk about the love hate relationship I have for it,and how I feel uncomfortable without it. How I can't vacation without bringing it with me,and how it can be a source of comfort and stress for certain things that I do in life. If I could copy and paste Word 2010 (its a trial,dont get all jealoous) to this stupid blog I would,but just like with math,I guess I am computer LD,as well.
Ciao for now!

Let me try this...um..."I'm a redneck WOMAN" yehaw???? Believe me? GOOD!

2010-01-29T13:16:00.003-05:00

Nick found a house in Dallas! Not Dallas, Texas...not not that sophisticated. Dallas, NC!!! I don't know if many of you have heard about GASTON COUNTY, or ever heard of GASTONIA, NC...but if you haven't, you are missing much, besides a few good laughs.Dallas, NC is on the border of Gastonia.

Ahhh, Gastonia! Where "Sweet Home Alabama" plays loudly as though the residents might somehow really believe that they live in Alabama, because they are so drunk that they dont know where or who they are from drinking BUSCH beer since they dropped out of 2nd grade. Where Dental work is done with pliers,The Flea Market is like Rodeo Drive,and people bleed SUNDROP! I have not heard of many people make it out of Gastonia and onto "greener pastures",well accept Jamie Pressley, who can probably credit her believable role of "JOY" on MY Name Is Earl, to living in this town,and knowing a few "Joy's" in her time!

You just dont know a redneck unless you travel to Gastonia!And who doesn't think they know one or two?

Well, obviously Nick doesnt. Charlotte is growing soooo rapidly that many of it's Natives,move to the outskirts,and Dallas has not developed too rapidly,land is cheap,and it's only around 20 miles North of downtown Charlotte, so Nick and many of his co-workers have set their eyes on this area!

(Note: This being the reason Gastonia now has a Pier 1 and a Panera Bread. Natives of the GAS HOUSE, know nothing of either)

Well, my lovely Nick found us a darling houseplan and has picked up the necessary paperwork today to start construction.....oh, if he only changes his mind. I love the house, I love the neighborhood and land,and more than anything, I'd love to move before Nolan arrives, but............. do I know what I am getting myself into. That is the question! Oh, or "does he". Nick likes to Fish...I think he thinks that is redneck enough to fit in...boy does he have another thing coming.LOL

All I need to do to fit in (like I care to try), is bake at the tanning bed,get a few cup sizes bigger in implants,and walk around barefoot in the yard with a baby on my hip (oh and acrylic nails and Marlboro Lights)...Nick, he is in a world of a surprise. How funny!

Next time I get asked "What animal would you be" I am going to say "BEAR"!

2010-01-29T12:57:00.002-05:00

Ha Ha, I just lost a follower or too! That's funny,bc I dont write much, but I am sure it had something to do with the "I dont like outsourcing" Blog. Sorry, I dont. I dont like old drivers,either.IF you're physically unable to put your foot on the gas hard enough to go over 25,or cant SEE THE SPEED LIMIT, your liscense should be revoked! If that statement pisses you off,feel free to "stop following" also. Good riddens! :)
Anywho, back to the topic. If someone ever asks (which I don't know why they would) "if you could be any animal,what would it be?" ever again, I will think twice before saying"a tiger...RARRRR" in my sexy voice,ever again!!! I will instead answer.."A BEAR!".
Why a bear? Because they hybernate! Cold weather and during PREGNANCY, that is what they DO ! I cant really sleep right now, but BOY IF I COULD! I love babies, but I don't like pregnancy all that much, but I love sleep.I dont dig cold weather,ecspecially in the Carolinas (ppl cant drive if an inch of snow meets the ground and flood the grocery stores like Hurrican Hugo is going to hit again)..I'd def sleep through that if I could. Oh,yeah!

Monday Tirades

2010-01-18T11:53:00.004-05:00

Okay, this makes me sound VERY rude,and small minded,and "politically incorrect", but you have to excuse me. I'm from the south andI either dont know any better,or am too backwards to fake that I care! (as any one who even TRIES to argue this,does)
I am soooooooooooooo sick of the companies that I chose to buy products from,outsourcing their CUSTOMER SERVICE jobs to other countries. Sprint,and now HP!!! If I am having a problem with my computer, to the point where I am calling and waiting on the phone for 30 minutes....I WANT TO UNDERSTAND THE PERSON WHO I EVENTUALLY GET A CHANCE TO TALK TO!!!!
....who are the companies REALLY thinking about when they outsource these jobs? We all know it isn't the well being of the prospects wanting employment, but .....are they thinking about their customers either?

Baby, I'm BACK!

2010-01-13T22:23:00.003-05:00

<----This a picture of my big preggo belly! I am in the pantry at Nicks momma's house. I dont like taking preggo pics because I am vain and superficial,so this may be as good as it gets for a while. :D

So much has happened recently, that I do not know where to begin!

I'm having a boy named "Nolan Grey" in early March. So excited!

Andrea is losing all of her teeth, or so it seems and is trying to take all of my money for them. What the heck am I gonna do for these teeth. Whoever came up with the idea of a tooth fairy, had a money tree,and a slight case of lunacy!

I lost my job...but whatever. I get UNEMPLOYMENT, along with half of the town I live in,and I cant think of a better time,than when you are pregnant as all get out,and cant sleep. Or when you have a beautiful newborn....and cant sleep.

BTW...What's up with the pregnancy induced insomnia? Really. I read somewhere that it is your body's way of getting you prepared for the loss of sleep when you have a newborn. Really? How freakin' nice!!! I personally dont like the way my body "tells" me things that far into the future. That's like giving old people constant mini-strokes to "prepare" them for the real thing. Um......."no thanks"!

Oh...and the same goes for the Braxton Hicks "practice" contractions that are so intense that you almost wet yourself. I can do without...and I am sure the triage nurses at the Maternity wards could too.

Anywho......what was I saying (pregnancy brain....as if I wasnt flighty enough)

Oh....I lost my job, but make out better, because of travel expenses and also because I am .....ABLE TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE!!!! Yay! I am taking the courses needed to start nursing school and I AM FREAKIN' ECSTATIC!!! I'll tell you more about this later.

But anyways, I wanted to update ya, like you really cared. You will be hearing from me a lot in the near future! Muah!!!!

Baby Names

2009-09-15T12:46:00.001-04:00

I need ideas for boys and girls. I know,I know...I have 5 months, but time FLIES! So.....any ideas?

Food Baby

2009-07-29T15:46:00.002-04:00

I am f**king BLOATED, as hell today. This is retarded! Not in a good,Fergie way-RETARDED IN A REALLY strange way that does not make sense. I do not recall feeling this way with Andrea, at all. I didnt show until I was 4 months. Now...I am 6 weeks, Ive gained like almost 10 pounds and need maternity pants. WTF!
It's okay that I gained 10 pounds. I needed to gain at least 5, and then my jugs probably weigh 3 pounds each right now. Plus, Im supposed to gain like 5 pounds this trimester, so the way I look at it, it's okay. I still looked okay in my gym clothes.........that was UNTIL I swelled up in my abdomen like a pissed blowfish! OMG, this blows!
My doctor is a perv. I mean I can't prove he is a perv, but Nick got a strange vibe (which he thinks all male gynecologists are pervs) and then I know a few ppl who went to him. If the general concensous is that he is a freak-show, and he gave me the creeps, then I think I need to switch docs. He looks like a gay cross between Mr.Bean and PeeWee Herman. Eww
My skin and hair are kinda gross right now. I shower and all, but honestly, I dont see the point if I am going to have mid-day oil slick, what the HELL is that doing for my baby?Really? Shouldnt my body be storing this for lube for the day I deliver? Gross, I know-but I am just saying.
On a lighter note, Andrea comes back on Friday and I am stoked. I miss my lil munchkin! God, do I!!! I just want her prescence to be felt in the air. Life is soooo dull without her.
I want to tell her, but I think I should wait. But then again, I dont know. If I had a miscarriage, that would be a lot for her to handle, but I am overly eager to see the joy on her face, and count down with her.
By the way, Im dressing UBER tacky!~

No More Baby Blues

2009-07-28T13:49:00.002-04:00

Although I am not prepared (in the least) I am expecting a second child in March! (explains my "moodiness") I am scared,exited, and shocked-all at the same time!

So........hear is some "Free Advice" : Don't always believe your doctors. When they tell you that you may have to have invetro, remember that GOD has more control over those things, and will prove them wrong, probably just for giggles (warm,fuzzy, "I know what's best" giggles)

WOW!

2009-07-15T16:13:00.002-04:00

It has been over a month since I have written! Wow, where has my mind been? I have "facebooked" myself out, but have not had one thing that was "good" enough to put into words, or so I thought. At this point, I am just going to write how I feel about random things.

It may be a big pile, but "hey, it is what it is". My thoughts are kind of jumbeled up lately!

Okay, so my daughter is gone to her fathers. I miss her TERRIBLEY, and have finally stopped crying. I wanted to save money while she was gone, but I didnt.....actually I am BEHIND on my bills. I swear, it's really sad, because I have nothing to show for it but a gut,love handles, and a cup size.

Thanks to all of the icecream that I have eaten.

I miss her, but I have a lil more time to save, if I stick to a budget (ugly word) before she gets home.

Having your child go on vacation may seem relaxing, but its really bittersweet. Really (duh)

I cut all of my hair off and it is what it is. I am not happy about it, but it feels like a weight is lifted off of my shoulders, and is actually a lil easier to maintain.

Michael Jackson died, (incase you have been hybernating). I have looked at a lot of people really differently since this incident. Okay, we know that he was a few sandwiches away from a picnic. Okay, he pretty much was just the basket and a bottle of water, and a few crumbs from years ago....but still. I feel soooo bad for him. I really thought (even during the trial) that he was a lost, tortured soul, that had bonds with children and animals because those were the only things he could trust, and he was right. Look how we (the media) scrutinized him. I just dont feel right about pointing the finger in blame when the WHOLE world is doing the same, and my heart tells me that there was more. I could be wrong, and for those who have said "and OJ is innocent, too-right". No, absolutly not (at least I dont feel that way). OJ didnt display the strange types of behavior that MJ did to make you believe that he had the mind of someone who was not BAD, but lost. OJ was angry, but I dont think that MJ was a molester, I think he was taken advantage of. What parent dangles there children in front of someone in question for millions? And you all saw him on the interview. He didnt think there was anything wrong with sleeping in the bed with his "friends". Not that it is right, but I think he was naive.The parents werent. Harm my child, and no money (although Id take that TOO) would be enough! Your ass would get locked up, before you could ever harm another soul.

Farrah Fawcett died as well (so did a few other celebrities, such as Ed Mcmahn (ms),etc). I didnt know anything about her, and was not a fan (I did looove her hair though) but her personal story was very touching. I cried the WHOLE entire time.

My job is driving me looney. Not "my job" but many of the people. It is like I am damned if I do,damned if I dont. I love many of the subs, and like some of the people I work with, but I swear, the economy is soooo bad, that many of the calls thatI get are soooooo ridiculous. I cant help but to feel angry when I get them, but afterwards,at night, I am struck with guilt and compassion for these people. Many of them have to call us LIKE CRAZY asking RANDOM questions about ANY jobs, even ones they dont know the names of and I cannot direct them to the right people bc they are as desperate for work as you can be, and I thank the LORD that I am not in that place. I need to ACT more compassionate instead of like a little snot, because that could be me and my child, and God knows that I would have it worse off than they do.

My parents are facing homelessness right now, and while I feel soooo guilty, they have made decisions time and time again that have led them to this place (my mother had a job last year and she quit because they made her sweep..............OMG). My poor dad is trying sooo hard, and would never ask me for a penny. But my mother hints, and makes me feel bad. I have paid bills for them in the past and right now, I cant-so............I dont know whether to change my numbers or deal, bc any time that I talk to my mom, it is the same thing, and although I tell her that I cant deal with it, she calls me, and weasels how bad is it into the conversation. Like I said, I want to help, I really do. It kills me not to, but I have my own family to take care of now, and I dont know how much longer I will be on my feet. The future is uncertain!

I am taking college courses soon to get my feet headed in the right diretion. I look at paralegal jobs and I make more than they do, without a degree, but I think its the "education" that I need, so *wish me luck*

Sorry if this wasnt "uplifting". Ill try in a few days ;)

Burritos and pajamas

2009-06-10T11:25:00.005-04:00

I am really sad that I cannot workout. I am sooo packing on the pounds and on top of that, am getting really tired and anemic feeling, and they say that exercsing is BAD for Anemia but GOOD FOR everything else.OOOOOOOh, how contradictory!

I am loving some FAKE-mexican food lately. I really dont like real mexican, its tastes dirty to me, but FAKE mexican (like Quodoba and On The Border) Ahhh. love them~!

Anyone have any tips on how to raise my iron REALLY quick so that I can get into the gym???? It would be greatly appreciated!

I am a "thin Cyster" Get it...Sister, Cyster? Bahahahhhha! ok-not really

2009-06-10T10:25:00.002-04:00

I told myself that I would not be a blogger who blogs about one topic all of the time, and expects for people to give a rats ass. I am sure you all dont really want to read about the same damn thing everyday, right??? Ok, well....from the looks of things, you do. I know I do. I didnt think I did, but I keep going back to read about a woman who mostly writes about Renovating Her Brooklyn Limestone for ideas. It was refreshing to find out that Infertile Myrtle doesnt always talk about infertility, and her blogs are pretty amazing. I have already written about my stupid health problems (God knows that I feel like an old bat talking about them) but the more I read about my disease/problem,thorn in my side...whatever you want to call it, the more I want to share the news, and maybe helped and be helped by other women who have it.
I have told you before that I suffer from P.C.O.S.
Doctors still dont know much about P.C.O.S and if you find a doctor wo does, he/she is worth moe than her weight in Gold, really.
I read about P.C.O.S two years ago, and knew that it was what was wrong with me. I actually "stumbeled upon" this name while reading a Womens Health mag. I went to see doctor after doctor, even some of the "best" in my area. The last visit I had from a OBGYN "specialist" told me..."you are too thin to have P.C.O.S, and the hairs arent prominent enough". REally, lady....I am sorry that I have to tweeze every morning, and hd work today before coming in. If that had not been the case, I would have grown a full beard to prove it to you!" The thought of doing that, or the fact that my body could POSSIBLY (I dont know, never tried) do that...makes me want to cring and cry at the same time. Like I said, I have never gone a day without tweezing, so I dont know what could happen, but I do know that it is NOT normal. My boyfriend can tell you.
Truth be told, that in order to be diagnosed with P.C.O.S, you only need three symptons. You may not be overweight, you may not even have cysts, all you need are three underlying symptoms, and going to see a doctor who knew her shit, was well worth it to me!
I dont want to become pregnant again. I have no urge to ever mother another child. Its not that I dont love children, I do...its just that I realize how hard being a parent is, and I worry about and have such a bond with my daughter that I dont ever want to share that. I know that if I were to have more children, that it would come naturally to me, but I just can't imagine not playing favorites with her, even though...like I said, I am sure Id love them equally.
I understand how painful it must be to be told that you CANT have children though. I love not always having my period and not having to worry with birth control, but I understand that to many women, this is a curse, not a perk!
I tried to take birth control for these painful cysts, and it was hell. Id rather be in pain. (by the way, Andrea was a miracle. All children are, but she was sent down to me because I asked, over and over. I didnt want to have more than one child, I just wanted one girl. I wanted her so bad, at a young age, because I think sub-conscoulsly....I knew that she would save me, and that she would be the only person who could teach me how to love unconditionally.She did! Like I said...I learn more from her than she does from me. I could teach her 15 different languages and she could be a math wiz at 8, but still-I learned more from her by the time that she turned 2, than any teacher could EVER teach her.)
Anyways back to what I was saying, many women are concerned about this disease because of the problems it causes trying to become pregnant. I, however am more shallow, and only concerned about the physical effects that it has, and the pain that it causes.
I have taken Metformin, Spironolatone,etc, and have had terrible side effects. Does anyone else want to share theirs?

A bit Naive

2009-06-09T16:33:00.006-04:00

This story is very sad for me, and I feel so sad for these women and their families.I hate that this has happened to these women, really....but cmon.Seriously...they are being tried as SPIES, and they were somehow caught on the border, WITH CAMERAS, doing their "duties as journalists". Well, if I were in a CRAZY country like North Korea, and all paranoid like I am sure they are, I would think the same thing too! They should have stayed home, and know not to tread in those dangerous waters.I feel terrible for their families, and hate that these women are going through this, but now...thanks to them,and their curiosity, or their jobs, we might have another battle to fight. Why can't people just be PROUD TO BE AMERICAN, and leave everyone else alone??? Its funny to me that they were both Asian girls sent down there.OBVIOUSLY to not be too noticeable!If you are a Korean in China, it is very racist for you to think you will "blend in"...but in Korea...well that's a different story. If you dont believe me, go to your nail salon and call one of them Chinese or Korean, and go to your favorite Japanese resteraunt and call them Chinese. Asians know the difference, so I dont believe Al sent Korean girls to China to do a story, thinking they would blend in with the Chinese, and I dont think it is a coincedence that they were all Korean. I could be wrong. Hey, its happened before. Well, no...one time I thought I was wrong, but wasnt...just "mistaken"-thats all ;)How do we know that they weren't trying to get a good story on North Korea, and just got caught, seems a little odd. Either way, I do pray for their safe return, but I do think it was a TERRIBLE MOVE to go out there to begin with.Also,I heard a girl reply back to someone who said something to the extent of "one of these women was a Mother of a four year old, and should know better".Then the other woman said "Why is it that Mothers should know better, but its okay for FATHERS to go to IRAQ or be police officers?".That's comparing Oranges to Apples, no WATERMELONS, sweetie! I guess it has something to do with our NATURAL maternal INSTINCT!!! Yes, a man CAN raise a child just as well as a woman, but its not as common, and we should WANT to be safe for our CHILDREN!She is not a soldier fighting for OUR COUNTRY,or a policeman trying to keep our streets safe (some I am sure aren't doing it for that reason, I am not 10 and don't need to be informed) she is a journalist, trying to make a buck on a story.Either way, no one should be put in harms way, but I think they knew the risks.

To my new Blog Friends

2009-06-09T12:36:00.002-04:00

I am trying very hard to get to know you (okay a lil hard, I am lazy) and for some reason everytime I click on your name or pic, it says that your Profile is unknown. Hmmmmmmm......So, if you we havent met, please leave a comment ...just saying "hi" so I can click there and check out your blog. I am computer illiterate!

The few lyrics that made me LOVE this man

2009-06-09T10:47:00.003-04:00

These lyrics are from the song you are hearing right now, the first one to pop up on my blog. I dont care what the media says about John Mayer, I love him, because I feel we all can relate to him!

I call
Because
I just
need to feel you on the line
dont hang up this time
I know it was me who called it over ,
But I still wish you'd fought me until youre dying day
Dont let me get away!!!!
I cant wait to figure out whats wron with me
So, I can say this is the way that I USED to be!!!!
THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR TIME!
Oh, for the sadness.....split screen sadness!!!!

And another song of his that you hear on the radio, but you just DONT pay attention to. I heard it for the first time, on the way back from dropping Andrea off to her first day of pre-school and cried like a baby. It touched me because of my relationship with my dad, and hers with her dad....

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I canTo stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's leftCleaning up the mess he made
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too [x3]

Why do they grow up!

2009-06-08T15:38:00.003-04:00

I love my daughter more than ANYTHING in this world, but I dont like being a "parent". Why cant I just be her best friend, and then her shoulder to lean on when she needs one? why cant I just be the one she crawls up with when she is sick, and runs home to tell what boy she likes in school. Why do I HAVE TO be the bad guy sometimes.

I realized yesterday, that I spend more time making her clean her room, read, take a bath, getting her to dance and daycare and back, then I do...enjoying her. Why cant I let her room get extra dirty, and let her wear her hair with knots if she wants ? It's not fair. What about what I want? She is really growing up too fast, and soon enough, I wont be able to hold her anymore. She wont want to sit on my lap and have me rub her back...so why cant I take these moments and hold them forever, and breath them in, never letting go? Why? ...bc if I dont tell her to clean her room and do all of these important things, it is actually just selfish and not benefiting her at all. I want someone else to do it. IF I were rich, I WOULD hire a Nanny, to train up my child, and let me be her VERY best friend. You can turn your nose up to that if you want. Id still be there for her whenever she needed me, no matter what, but I wouldnt have to parent at all. Id take her to school, pick her up and the Nanny would deal with all of the hard stuff (like making her clean her OWN room, instead of a maid) and making her look for her own shoes, instead of hanging them to her. Honestly I am sick of being the bad guy for a greater cause. I just want to love her all up, but I guess that is impossible. My duty isnt to be a best friend, but a PARENT, and honestly, a good one of those, is probably the best friend you can have in the long run!

You can call me SUGARFOOT!!!

2009-05-29T09:26:00.006-04:00

UPDATE! I asked Nick to go get my prescription filled for my cymbalta, concerta and Klonopin yesterday after I almost raped him. (I say almost bc what guy can REALLY turn you down after MONTHS of barely having it, no matter what they are doing?)
Click HERE to see one of the FUNNIEST SLIDES EVER, to find out "who the hell Sugarfoot really is". And why do these grown men call her SUGARFOOT???? hmmmmm (quick and hilarious)

He came back with....
Klonopin, to help me sleep so I will shut up at night, instead of trying to snuggle and "talk".
and Concerta so I would clean,clean,clean-VRRRROOM , VROOM- (YAY!!!) while he plays Wii or watches FISHING( what a redneck).
He said he asked them to "bank" the cymbalta."What? You like me being all crazy???

I think he secretly likes getting raped enough to deal with PERPETUAL NAGGING!!!

So,
Note to self: (you may want to grab a pen and paper too, Ladies)
Give it to your man hot and heavy for a while....then CUT HIM OFF COLD TURKEY, but act like a doll.
When you start to "break him off" again....he wont care what you say!Bitch,nag, makes scenes, whatever you're pride will allow you to do, and he will not care!

But I hear that not taking your Cymbalta can cause crazy problems......OH, LAWD! I am glad the worst is over with. I hear it is TERRIBLE for some people!
Today has been a lot easier. My doctor said that the longer it is out of my system, the better I will feel, and that since I was UNDER the weather and pretty much immobile for a few days, the worst part...I slept through. Hallelujah!

I don't think ALL people have these bad of mood swings, some people just get dizzy or feel tired.I think it has a lot to do with WHY you are on the medications to begin with and how they react with your body. I am not making light of how serious taking SSRI's can be and then quitting cold turkey. It is rather sad, and scary, and can cause many terrible problems, much worse than others. I really believe doctors should be more careful when prescribing these medications, especially after the incident in Charlotte where a man stabbed his family to death after taking Prozac for a long period of time, and quitting without doctor supervision. This can be VERY dangerous and should not be taken lightly.

I am officially going inSANE!!!

2009-05-28T14:38:00.002-04:00

Okay, I HAVE GOT TO get my medication today.

I am sooo irratable, that it is ridiculous! I want to kill Nick, and I am just flat out rude.

You know how I told you that I didnt need the Cymbalta because I was not depressed?

I need the Cymbalta...because I am a BITCH! If this is some type of hormonal change...then ESTROGEN SUCKS!!! Really! I liked my levels where they were at.

I quit taking the cymbalta for STUPID reasons. #1, its expensive,#2 I have no sex drive and cannot have an orgasm, #3 it makes me smoke cigarettes (my theory...when I dont take it, I dont want to smoke)and #4, I cant have an orgasm.....Did I already say that?

Oh, and I am not creative or outgoing on it at all.

Without it, this is me.

Mean

HUNGRY

HUNGRY

MEAN

HORNY

TEMPERAMENTAL

EASILY AGGRAVATED

UNORGANIZED

BLOATED (probably bc I eat all of the time)

Ok, so it is official that I am CRAZY! But you dont read my blogs because I am SANE do you? I like CRAZY people (at a distance) better than boring,sane people! GEEZ, my favorite blogs are NOT ABOUT polka dots, puppy dogs, and scrapbooking. Hell, those might be the crazy people afterall! I am a nice person, I'm not all "single white female" or anything...just edgy and MEAN without this stuff. DOESNT THAT SUCK!?!? They put me on it, for something that wasnt even wrong with me to begin with (I was not depressed, I was tired because I was insanely ANEMIC) and now w/out the meds. I am a evil wreck!!!

Lord help us all...DRUGS ARE BAD! No matter who gives them to you! DON'T start taking them, because you really can NEVER get off.....no pun intended!

Peace, Love & Laxatives. Part II

2009-05-27T11:31:00.005-04:00

Okay, this post will have nothing to do with laxatives (knowing me, not much about peace or love either, oh well) but I liked the title so much, I decided to use it again. Sounds like a bulimia memoir, huh?lol

Anywho...

Nick and I are on a hunt for the perfect condo right now. I love the little town that I live in. I love this condo above.The town is small and like 30 minutes away from town,Downtown Charlotte and 45 from all of my friends...but I looove it. He does too, but he is getting sick of the drive to work. Can't say that I blame him. Truth be told, this area is accesible to everything WE personally need though.We don't have a Sephora, but we do have a Target :) I can drive 30 minutes to Sephora if I need to. No biggie. The small town feel, but still close enough to the big city is my main attraction to Rock Hill. I would be reaaaally sad if we had to move. Really...but I can't be selfish. He does have quite a haul, and to top it off, we dont have any friends in Rock Hill.

But it's a great place to raise children, and maybe we could get to know people. Who knows.

I can buy a house, and still have a yard. And can almost jog to Winthrop University. I dont shop at Chico's, but there is one walking distance from my house, so you know that there are quite a few middle age, upper middle class women keeping that store in business. Point blank, I dont worry about waking up one day and realizing that the neighborhood that I thought I loved, has turned into the ghetto, and in our price range, I have to worry about that in Charlotte.

It's not that we are poor, but it's like buying an apartment in Manhattan, or a great condo in ........The Bronx.I think I'd rather move to Buffalo. That's just me.For what I would get in Manhattan, it would be roach infested...but something SPECTACULAR in the Bronx....if I want to count gun shots instead of sheep to get to bed at night (just saying). You have to get in where you fit in. The condo above may not be as IMMACULATE as he wants, and as close

I just can not MAKE him stay.I have no control over that. I TELL him that I want to stay, but I can not MAKE him love it here. I KNOW that he is making a bad decision and will regret it 5 years from now if he moves. But how can I MAKE him see that. What? Wait until we move to a "transitional neighborhood" and put Andrea in a school that I dont feel good about, only to see our old stomping grounds prosper enormously? I can not take that risk. I wont. This will be the end for Nick and I...and it's stupid really. Am I that shallow, or am I just frustrated? Oh, someone PLEASE tell me if I am in the wrong. Please.

Peace, Love & Laxatives

2009-05-26T14:24:00.003-04:00

Okay, it is official. Men have no cooth.
I went to CVS on Friday night with Nick. As you all know, I am rather uncomfortable talking about #2. Especially in front of men (Nick). I don't know why. There isn't much I WONT talk about, but that, well, I can KINDA talk about it with you, but it still feels wrong.It's like talking to your mom about intimate sex details. You get it.
So, like I said...Nick and I go to CVS. My Nick loves me, but he is an evil one sometimes. On the way there, he said or did (I dont know, maybe he didnt,and it was just this estrogen talking to me) something to make me feel like he thought I had lost my sex appeal. It could have been my paranoia because I knew, that he knew, that we were going to CVS to pick up laxatives, but either way, it was his fault. And for the first time EVER,I wanted him to be UBER jealous. (not like me at all), and damnit....for the first time, I was gonna bite the bullet and rub my swollen,bloated, and extremely constipated, yet still somewhat sexy self in his FACE!
BAD IDEA!
Not only is CVS at 10pm, not a place you would usually pick up guys (I dont know, is it?) but...c'mon. I don't REALLY have that type of nerve. So, this is what happens.....

I walk in, after spraying some cheap (but surprisingly good smelling) Hale Berry perfume on at the front. I mess up my hair, poke out my chest, and decide to look around for someone , SOMEWHAT cute you KINDA smile at. Maybe then the poor fella will follow me around CVS (yeah, right-HAPPENS IN MOVIES. Ever seen Erin Brokovich?)
No one in sight.
Nick has no idea of my intentions (maybe he did, he's pretty passive aggressive and tricky like that) and grabs a grape soda and some cheeto's (what the heck was wrong with him that night?) and starts EATING them in the store. I give up and walk over to the laxative isle. I don't want cramps, cant wait 4 days, but don't want to get swamp pants when I am out somewhere...GEEZ! How do I know what to do? So, I decide to talk about it. I will just have to talk bout it with Nick. He comes over, and I try to ask him. He says "I don't know, I don't have those weird problems. If I need to go, I'm not all weird and hold it in for days. That's not good for you.That's how the kid on the Poltergeist movie died"which made me even MORE nervous.( I wasnt being "all weird" pain medicines and anesthisia constipate people) He tells me to go ask the pharmacist.

I go and get in line, and when the line FINALLY gets down to just one person in front of me,(I thought the store was DEAD) Nick sits down and starts flipping through Senior Citizen Magazines and out comes a really hot Pharmacist.Then the long line of people start to line up behind me (like the pharmacy was giving away Blood Pressure Medicine) and I started to choke up. Nick gets up, and half looking at the magazine says "she's constipated and probably needs some of that extra strength ex-lax" in an "all too comfortable" volume. I guess I start to blush, and so the pharmacist tells me to go over to the side where it says "Pharmacist Consultation". There he goes between asking me personal questions about the nuances of my #2, to telling me an embarrassing story about him getting food poisoning while on a bus in a 3rd world country after eating a bad coconut (F.P from coconut???) which made me feel even more awkward. Then he takes me to the laxative line (6 people are waiting on this one cashier at the counter, and Nick is checking himself out with different reading glasses on) and explains EVERY single one to me, in a very strange flirtatious manner. 15 minutes later, I decide on WHATEVER and buy something and go.
As Nick and I were getting in the car, he said...."That guy was sweating you pretty hard."
I said "no, he wasn't (kinda happy that he might be jealous") we were talking about laxatives, for crying out loud.
Nick says " Yeah I think that dude was part Asian. He looked like it. Asian people are kinky. He probably gets off on talking like that"(can we say "racial profiling"?)
SO my Nick was a lil jealous , I FELT like I exploited myself.......
and in the long run, got exactly what I asked for...and more.

Ovaries, SCHMOVE-a-ries!!!!

2009-05-26T08:52:00.004-04:00

Boy, how I have missed you all so!!! These past few months I have done a terrible job at keeping in touch, but I promise to make it up to you.
I see some people are still stopping by to say "hello" and the emails and birthday wishes are sooo sweet! I really believe that great friendships can be made through the wonderful world of blogging. I have heard that "friendships are like a garden, you must tend to them regularly for them to grow". Well, I am sorry to all of my beautiful cyber blossoms!!! I know how devasted you all have been without me around.I know that you all are withering away, and turning brown in despair.
No, fret my pets!!! I am back and am ready to grace you with my prescence, sarcasm and dashingly good looks, wits,sense of humor. What have you!
Geez, Narcisis seems like a pretty humble dude now, huh? I really am kidding, promise!!!

But seriously, the one curly fry has had a pretty full plate lately.
Do you all remember me saying that I just wasnt feeling like myself back in March? Well, it just got worse and worse.
I came to work looking and feeling like a zombie. My boss complained about me being the first thing people saw when they came into our building, because I looked so bad. I was dropping weight, and had dark circles under my eyes. My hair started clogging up the shower, and my neighbors talked to me about laying off of the gym, and EATING for a change.
Funny thing is, I was too tired for the gym, and I was eating.
I was soooo tired, that I could barely wake up in the morning and bedtime started to get earlier and earlier, until,it was impossible to NOT fall asleep on the couch right after dinner (7pm).

I had seen a doctor for these symptoms, but much milder last year. They said that I was depressed.In search of a different answer, I went to more doctors and more doctors, and they all said the same thing. So I took Paxil, then switched to Lexapro, then Cymbalta. Cymbalta gave me the "I dont give a SHITS" and I loved it. But, I still felt exhausted, and my sex drive went from a 2 on scale of 1-10, to a -4. My feet were freezing and I put a heater under my desk, that STAYED on, through May.
Long story short, Iwas messed up.
Then I started having terrible cramps (wow, this story DOES GET better, promise) in my left side. I knew it was my ovaries, so I overlooked it. I have P.C.O.S (polycystic ovary syndrome) and cysts are normal for me. The cramps never got better or worse, I got used to them. Until they kept me up sick and shaking all night, then I decided (smart girl) to go to the OBGYN. I told them, on the phone that "Either you remove this ovary, or I do!" They saw me right away, did xrays...and I had an 8.5 cm cyst on my left ovary, and my ovary was enlarged. My hemoglobans were at 7, and as soon as the ovary was removed, my hemoglobans went back up to 11. My doctor thought it was the strangest thing.
I think sometimes, we know our bodies bettter than other people,even doctors do, and this little small experience opened my eyes to that. What if it were cancer, and I kept telling doctors and they didnt dig deep enough to cover the true problem....and instead of fixing the problem, I just got used to it, and then CROAKED!!!
Don't let people influence your thoughts THAT MUCH! Had I had this problem taken care of in 07, when it surfaced, instead of undermining myself, I might have some vacation time left now.......... and would be pretty buff bc I would have the energy to go to the gym, instead of either being too tired or sitting here with my abdomen stiched up like it is now.
Thankfully it was not something worse.
Ladies, LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR BODIES ARE TELLING YOU!!!
Dont assume that your doctors dont fly through their work too! Where are all of the House's these days? Geez!

Okay,so if I were a dude...

2009-05-08T13:25:00.003-04:00

I would soooo have a crush on Megan Fox. Heck, I usually can look at someone pretty and say "wow, they are hot!" but not drool. Well, all of that has changed. While my sexual preference is def the same, I can not help but to drool, when I see this woman/girl! (she is 4 years younger than me, can you believe it???)

I think it's because she is not phony acting, and admits to not eating right or taking the best care of herself. She has tattoo's that are bold, in bold places, and that is cool to me too (the tattoo lover that I am). She just doesn't mind being uber-sexy, but doesn't try to hard to be "hard" and that is really refreshing to see!

http://wonderwall.msn.com/movies/Megan-Fox-in-Elle-2608.gallery?GT1=28135

Happy Birthday Andrea!!!

2009-04-28T13:31:00.003-04:00

On this day, 6 years ago, at 7:11 am, I was given the most precious gift I could ever recieve.
Andrea Jadyn!!!
I will never ever forget that day! It forever changed not only my life, but me!!!
I thought about writing a letter to her a few days ago, so that she could read it years from now and know all about how blessed I am to have her in my life, and what she was like at 5-6 years old. I may do this every year. Here goes!

Dear Andrea,
You are turning 6 years old today, and I can't believe you are growing up so fast. I regret that I do not take more pictures and that I havent in the past. You would not BELIEVE how much you have grown! I think back about it, and remember all of your little saying "we gurls" and habits, and your vibrant spirit and it makes my heart melt!
You have always been a very easy child to raise. You don't have any extreme fears, you never said curse words, and you were rarely sick. No broken bones, no huge accidents, and that is probably part my fault for being on top of you all of the time. I will try to give you a little more space.
You always have had your own sense of "style" -"ohhh, FFFFassssshion!" (was a lil thing you would always say, when you saw something you thought was cute!) and sense of self. While you love Hannah Montana, you much prefer Cher, and often ask me questions about Sonny and her. Did she make good grades in school,etc. You like all children at this age, love macaroni and cheese, but your taste for hummus and guacomole is a bit different...and I like that!
You love movies, ecspecially with animals, but it amazes me how you love "The Divine Secrets of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood" and "Fried Green Tomatoes". You are so young and innocent, but still have a mature nature to you.
When we lay down to watch movies, you caress my arm, or play with my hair. You have a very nuturing part of your personality. I try to be this way with you, and most of the time you let me, but sometimes you want to be the nuturing type. Ask "how was your day, Momy" before I get a chance, and you tell me that you "love me more" constantly. You do this with all of the people you love, and it is so sweet. I get sad sometimes thinking about your teen years, and you outgrowing this loving stage. I guess I should just hold on to it as long as I can.
Soon, you wont want to sleep in the bed with Mommy :(
You loooove animals and are very sensitive to them and their needs. Most children are, but I have never met a child who was drawn to all different types of animals as much as you. I cant wait to get you a dog, but right now I am waiting to move.
You looooove to read, and do so much better than the rest of your class. While you excell in academics, you arent drawn to atheletic things, and prefer doing somethin creative and crafty. You color beautifully, and always in the lines!
I just love everything about you, and am so proud and lucky to call you my daughter and BEST FRIEND!
xoxo,
Love,
Mommy!!!

Gravity Hill, or more

2009-04-27T16:24:00.004-04:00

Growing up, I had heard of hills where you could put your car in neutral, and your car would move uphill. The story is always the same " small children were hit in a bus, and if you put baby powder on the back of your car, you can see fingerprints where they moved your car out of the way, so the same would not happen to you". I never had visited such a place, but thought of it as an "urban legend".
When I moved in with Andrea's Father, one night he took me to Richfield Rd, where he showed me, Gravity Hill! I was exited and scared, and like- "ohh,ahhh" about it" but afterwards, he assured me that it was a magnetic field, and nothing but an optical illusion.
The myth is just as I stated above, same exact story.
I forgot to mention that when Vicki and I took Andrea and the dog camping,that I showed her Gravity Hill.
It was sooo easy to find, you really can not miss it, the only thing that is different, is that for many many years, the words "start" and "stop" were spray painted on the road (there are not very many of these in existence) in bright letters, now there is grafity all over the road. IT's like a mean trick the local kids have pulled to make you look harder for the "start" line.

I noticed before we got to the rolls in the hills, that on our right was a street where a small schoolhouse was years ago, before the newer schools had been built, so it makes sense that the wreck would happen where it was rumored to, and how.
When we found the starting point, our car moved, and I enjoyed seeing the reaction on Vicki's face, I was calm, until....her "ever so calm" almost lazy while in the car, got half way in the front seat,until our car was at the finish line. No exaggeration!
I just wonder if dogs are sensitive to magnetic fields. IF they felt something we didn't. No matter how slow we went, from that point on, her dog never reacted the same way.
No hairs on back were standing up, but you could tell this dog felt something. I swear, even when alone with one of us, this dog prefers being in the back. It has a dog bed and everything. Strange that it almost jumped in our laps, for the duration of the "ride".
If the spirits of the small children, were really pushing us out of the way (a story I still cant help but doubt) then Casey (the dog) definitely SAW them.
While I dont know about the spirit thing being true, (how can the same story take place in so many different places???)I dont necessarily believe the logic behind it being an optical illusion anymore either. Supposedly, it looks uphill, but while your car is in neutral you are really going downhill. I think if you were to walk this road, you'd feel that it was uphill.
Click HERE for more Gravity Hills

Just a glimpse of Andrea's new table. Work in progress.

2009-04-27T14:39:00.002-04:00

I am about to LOOOOOOOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! WARNING....569 curse words that dont make sense together!!!!

2009-04-27T12:31:00.004-04:00

Ok, so here goes. I am a total BITCH today, and maybe letting off a little bit of steam will help me to turn this "Psycho Woman" attitude around. Please BEWARE, you may not want to or even be able to understand ALL of my RANTING. Caution:Read atyour own risk! By doing so it, It may be hazardeous to your mood as well.
Just saying!
#1- Whoever says "PMS is not real" is full of shit. Up to their eyebrows in it! I am living proof that it is real, as real my 7th grade P.E teachers saggy boobs . I have had my stupid, universally hated,and plain old annoying, Aunt Ruby visit me 3 times in the past 6 weeks. To be honest with you, I wish this BITCH would just stay home, or at least give me a "friendlier" warning to let me know she is coming my way. The first time I was a bitch and had massive cramps, the second time (last week) I could barely notice her existence. This time,she wasn't expected, but boy was I EVIL TO The CORE Saturday and Sunday!!!! I mean EVIL! And today, well lets put it this way, not only did I contemplate putting myself on Craig's list to be married off to a wealthy old man,because I am "too stupid to work, at any job" but I am also "aging, and if you're a dumbass then you have to look good, and with neither of those.....boo hoo" and then I started crying.

Then I decided to not pick up Nicks calls, but later called him, and told him to "put himself in my shoes and see how he felt". Well, he obviously doesn't know either A-where my shoes are located, or B-they don't fit...because he can't. He told me to "grow up"! GROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!!!! That alone, made me (excuse me for seeming like a maniac for saying this) picture myself beating him in the head, violently with this copy (that the Hag Donna gave to me, when I first started- how nice!) of THE COMPLETE OFFICE HANDBOOK.
Now, on top of that, I have people calling me ALLLLLL day, asking for one of my owners (who wouldnt give me the answer to the questions that everyone is prying me for, because I am apparently "too stupid" to relay a message) and when I say "he isn there" or "is busy" or "is avoiding your fucking calls ,so sit on hold you loser!!!!" (I've thought about saying it)...they all want to know, "well I was calling (I dont give a shit WHY you were calling, just how to get you to the right person, one way or another) to see if you were bidding on the Fort Marlow (dont even go into the full name, ASSHOLE I have other calls coming through) Winston Cemetery (yep,there you go) in Cincinnati, (please tell me what state because I am a raging FUCKING lunatic, who doesnt already know)Ohio?" My answer "Yes, we are"...then the man with the very country accent goes on to ask "could you tell me how many square feet of----(at this point I am thinking "no, dickweed!!! If I could, do you think my lame ass would be sitting here listening to you douche bags all day, and looking up phone numbers in the yellow pages for every Tom, Dick, and Harry.....like I work for the FUCKING phone company( part of my job description?? no...especially not for people who do not EVEN WORK AT OUR COMPANY!!!!) It must be universally known that "there is this ex-blond dipshit working at the front office of ------------ who willl be anyones bitch if you ask her"" ) Anyways............I answer by stating "I dont know, you'll have to talk to ____ would you like his VM? " Over and over and over. What really gets my gut is when they start off by telling me "Hi, my name is Luther Van Dross from Omaha Hospital and I am calling for Skipper". I dont need all that. I can tell if you are legit by the way you ask for Skipper, and while you were giving me your life history two other lines rang, more than two times,and that is no good!!! See, if you were a sales person, you would start off by saying "Hi, how are you today?" (because no one of importance gives two flying shits how I am doing today! I dont write checks....so go back to being your normal assholish self, pecker head!) that's how I know that you arent a sales person. By the way that you say "hEy, where is Skip.....or Is Skip in the office? " I know who you are, as n importance to my Boss, so save the nice b.s....and dont give me your name until I ask.
Oh, and BigD...how about instead of making such a big stink about going to lunch AFTER me, so you can come back 30 minutes late all of the time, and no one notices,try treating someone how YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED! but no....You are incapable of doing that! I know bc as soon as I get out of the car( if I am 5 minutes late, you're standing at the front door tapping your navy blue Aeresole!!! But if I am ON TIME, you don't leave until your damn good and ready!OMG, I just rushed MY ASS OFF TO GET HERE ON TIME (a.k.a eating my lunch in the car)so next time, BE FUCKING READY TO HAUL YOUR SAGGY ASS TO McD's, because "time is of the essence" and even though my BOSS'S dont see or care how you maneuver everything to YOUR liking, KARMA does, and it will sneak up on your persnickety ass!
Oh, and one more thing Big D....."Thanks a lot for all of your help with the safty manual for one of our owners, who thinks I just fell off the turnip truck!You retyping the logos on the first 3 pages, and reading over my work, really was hard work..Even HARDER I BET, was trying to pass all of my work off as your own, after you watched me scan over 500 pages,rename them (into something that worked becauseyour idea, no bloody good-all out of order) and print, while M.D was printing out personal emails in between all of my pages, and then after I got the printer to print mine on one side of the machine, and everyone else on the other, M.W had a fit because he didnt like the side his stuff was coming out of and messed mine all up again, so I had to refill the printer ONCE again-which ppl get all bent out of shape when there is no paper, pardon the fact that I just printed out 1000 pages for Big.D, and reprint the manual (which did waste tree's but so did whats-his -faces personal emails, who needs to print that dumb shit out anyways?). After I finished, I tired to ask a random question to hint to Mr.Boss that I was the working hands behind this (he who gives themselves credit, doesn't get it later, I know... I was desperate) and came up with a question so stupid that it only gave proof to him that I was a proverbial idiot. Later I decided instead of handing it back to you (to nitpick and take pages out, and pretend like something was wrong that wasnt just to make me work hard (yep biatch, the last copies you told me werent supposed to be in there, I saved in my desk- so this time when you said that they did-it didnt confuse me, I had them and that was quick fix) I went to Mr.Boss himself and told him that if "I screwed it up, please fire me, because obviously my mother was unaware of the fact that she raised a retard, and I am wasting my time working when there is a disability check waiting for me downtown." He actually smiled and said, "you said it not me". ha ha

Can someone tell me the recipe for Marilyn Monroe's sandwich at the Stage Deli?

2009-04-27T08:44:00.005-04:00

Some people claim she had no real talent, and that she is "played out". Others are still in awe of this woman almost 50 years after her death. What is it that makes the legend of Marilyn Monroe not dim?

You still see her name in the papers, and The Biography Channel seems to do a piece on her frequently. IF I bought ever single book (that usually said the same exact things about her) that came to Barnes and Nobles each year, I'd go broke.

I know her life story (or what she left behind of it) by heart. I was obsessed with this starlight as a girl (not knowing it was the "cool" thing to do. I also read up on Jayne Mansfield) and I can not help but to wonder..."What makes Marilyn Monroe's light never dim out"? Her estate is making more now than EVER (who would she leave an estate too? At death she was divorced, no children, and no family.....she left her estate to her possessive and obsessed Acting Coach, and an organization for child psychology). If you want to use her name, your gonna have to pay, BIG TIME....and the fact that so many are willing to do so SAYS A LOT!!!

I mean if it is because she was a blonde bombshell, or had a tragic death, why isn't Jane Mansfield a bigger icon. She was rumored to have been decapitated in an automobile accident (reports later stated that it was just her wig that flew off, no head attached).....Maybe it wasn't her because she left behind a child (who now plays on Law and Order) and that it wasn't actually her boobs that were that big, rather an enormous chest cavity.What about Rita Hayworth, or Grace Kelly....even Audrey Hepburn (a not-so-close) second, still can't compare with the Legend of Marilyn Monroe. For someone who supposedly "could not act, could not sing, could barely wake herself up in the morning, married 3 times, and could not bear a child" she can do a lot ,DEAD that we could not do living. She has been an icon, her face alone-a timeless piece of decoration, and a name that is universal for longer than most stars dream of. The most imitated woman in history.

Last night I was watching The Travel Channel, and the show was about the Country's Best Deli's. Among the top were Manhattan's infamous Stage Deli. Marilyn Monroe picked out the ingredients to her sandwich and that sandwich was named after her. The Stage Deli doesnt care about staying power. The star gets a sandwich for a little while, and it gets replaced. I wonder what start replaced Marilyn Monroe (watch, as we dont know who on earth it was) and what were the ingredients in her sandwich...or is that "top Secret"? hmmmm.

For a interesting article on Marilyn

Stage Deli Menu

The Stage Deli Home Page

Marilyn Monroe website

"Yes, could you order that dress in a -O2 for me?"

2009-04-22T15:59:00.005-04:00

We've all heard about it, and we've all seen it on television. Those rail-thins models, and actress's wearing their oversized glasses and ballet flats, with every bone in their foot showing out of the top. Their ribcages used to be incredibly tanned, but now it seems as though the "unhealthier" you look, the better....so "sport that backless dress honey, your ghost white, spine looks GREAT protruding" is what these girls MUST be hearing, because they have to doubt their own opinion that this looks good. They HAVE to have someone, a professional, confirming that this look will make them hot. Right???? Who would do this?

Lets look at it pretty realistically. Men usually dont go for this look. Gay and straight men alike produce testosterone, and we know that. A man with testosterone is proven to be more attracted (not always sexually) to a woman who has HIGHER levels of estrogen, even as a FRIEND (for the gay guys out there, they are said to like having "feminine looking" friends more to those who arent). So, if major male designers (Armani and Tom Ford, to name a few) are climing that they dont find the "chicken wing arms, and sagging chest...I mean breast" beautiful, than why do they use them in the shows? Because that is what sells, and c'mon...they have MOUTHS to FEED at home.ha ha ( and yachts,extravagant houses,cars,etc.)

Men arent buying up all of these designer clothes (okay, maybe they are buying them) but they are not picking them out. Women are. So, now you have to look to who "real women" look to for fashion. Celebrities. So, who do celebrities look too? Aha...stylists!!! (Racheal Zoe is who gets most of the blame from around the world, although she says she never "tells" anyone to mimick her look, but most of her clients,like Nicole Ritchie, walk away with it anyways)

So, I suppose the sylists should be to blame for this WAIF thin look that now, is more popular than EVER, and designers are getting calls for -02, instead of regular 00's (just to let you know, my dress size is LARGER than my pants size. So, if I AM A 2 in pants, then I am a 4 in dresses.....at 111 pounds. If these girls are negative 00's in dresses, that is gross, but -02...OMG!!! SICK...yeah, thats the point!)

But there is a much more serious side to this, than just aesthetics, that may be hitting closer to home than some may think.

In a country where obeseity is higher than many of our carb munching neighbors, yet DIET is more of a common word than "toothbrush" (heard about Mt.Dew in the Apps? Pepsi went over there to PAY FOR THEIR TEETH. Ummm no, they need to brush. Its not your products fault!) Who wants to look like this?

Seen 90210 lately? Our teens want to look like THIS! And how do they plan on getting that way?

The U.K has seen a trend RISE AND RISE among young girls as young as 14, and anorexia, and get this........ Clembuterol ( a steroid once used for Asthma that is now only legal for horses, and sells for almost as much as vitamins on the internet) and Atterall. Sad, really,sad.

"Warner Books will publish Style: A to Zoe, in which the stylist and her famous friends such as Tom Ford and Naomi Campbell will offer tips on how to look fabulous — ie, impossibly thin. Then Zoe has said she wants to start her own fashion label.
The well-covered women of Britain might prefer she do so in California." -http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/article648756.ece

Just call me Captain BackFire

2009-04-22T08:08:00.003-04:00

Only 2 more girls nights until Nick comes back from Cincinatti. I won't deny, I miss that mean old booger. I really do! I also won't deny that I have been having a pretty good time while he has been away, doing WHATEVER I want (which I already do) without any lip. The house was so clean on Saturday, but then my mother came over (I will admit that one advantage of her being at my house is that she likes to get chores done that I want to put off, but I also like her company) somehow she messed it up, and is NOT cleaning up like I expected. I am an adult, I should do it. And I am a mother, I know I know....but sometimes, being around your mom makes you feel like a teen again (if only for long enough to watch American Idol and go to the tanning bed, or go grocery shopping alone).Apparently my mother feels the same way about being around me. She has not only, NOT CLEANED, but messed my house up!!!

So Nick calls me last night (he calles every 45 minutes, no joke!) and says... "Now, I want that house cleaned when I get home woman." . But no, seriously...there really isn't any excuse for it not being EXACTLY like it was when I left, if not better. Maybe you could dust and polish up a few things".
Are you serious???? OMG!!! This is supposed to be a vacation for me. I mean I am going to leave pizza box's and beer cans all over the house. Me and Andrea (for new readers, thats my daughter) are getting a keg tonight. We thought we'd invite (hmmm,... let's see who doesnt work 9-5 jobs and have responsibilies during the week)............ AH HA...My Mum, and the 2 elderly ladies in the neighborhood over!!!
Like I live like a slob! I was very insulted! Instead of being quick to snap at him, I just said "sure thing Nick. The house is very clean now...I don't plan on messing it up". Oh, I act like the tough girl, but honestly, I don't want him to be dissapointed. So before he gets home, I will make sure to tidy up. He doesn't really look THAT hard anyways. I will at least leave out my rubber gloves and spray some Lemon Pledge. That usually does the job!

Dropped by a Shoplifter

2009-04-21T15:43:00.002-04:00

Sad, huh?

I am being lazy today and not wanting to make a grocery list, so I looked online for one. HOW PATHETIC,is that? Anyways, when doing so, I stumbled across this site ,and got a kick out of some of other people's lost, or most likely left behind, grocery lists.

Too Funny!

I am ONCE AGAIN, sharing too much.

2009-04-21T08:47:00.004-04:00

I have been waking up to a deep sense of regret, or guilt, that I could not put a finger on, almost every morning since I was in my teens. When I was deeper into Christianity, it was still there. I prayed of it often, and somehow, the guilt comforted me, because even though I didn't know what it was for, I knew I still had a conscience, and that was of The Lord, although "guilt" is not. Then I would feel guilty for the guilt, and so on.

It ate away at me, and recently, more so than ever.

Have I killed anyone? no

Have I lied? of coarse, but try to be honest

Do I sin? yes, and that is inevitable

I accept that.

Did I question God's existence? No, I always knew he was real. I always knew he had an eye on me. I always talked to him,freely. Even though it wasn't taught to me that I SHOULD, I did.

Truth be told, I never had a "fear" of him, like so many should or did.

I looked to him, like a father.

The more I studied, the more I did NOT understand. The more questions that I could NOT answer for unbelievers. So many things were contradictory, and given "just because" is not an answer I can give.

I know how wonderful Christianity can be, but I also know how terrible it can turn if people are misinformed. I suppose it is the same way with Muslims and their religion. We all have our "kool-aid camps, or Al Quieda" <ms> embarrassing extremists, right?

That is why I choose not to point a finger.

You know what is really sad? I didn't want Obama to win, because of what my church said, not my own PERSONAL beliefs. I set aside MY beliefs, what I felt right in MY heart, to beliefs on gay marriage,religion,etc. that I did not understand. I finally got real with myself, about that, and chose to plead the 5th when asked about those topics, holding to the EXTREME abortion that Obama would allow. I am Pro-Life, to a degree, but that is a WHOLE new post.

Anyways, I was one day arguing with a Muslim friend over something political, and it somehow changed into religion. (real "Christ-Like" of me to be arguing, isn't it?) I (without telling him) was going to give him a quote from the Bible, when I decided tore-read about the Golden Cow. Great story. Then I searched it online. It was documented in different religion's, BC. What? Are you serious? It supposably derived from the Koran first? No way..... A Christian would say that, is the Devils work.

I am not denouncing Christ or the fact that he is miraculous, and I am not trying to be blasphemous, but maybe I am. And I am sure Guilt will plague me later.

I told my Muslim friend (Anthony) of this story, and all he could do was laugh. We were both being taught the same values, yet from different books, and somehow, many of the people who share our beliefs hate the opposite religion. It makes no sense.

I somehow understand my Grandfathers choice to be agnostic (not my parents,though), but I also understand why he prayed to Jesus right before he died.

People just dont pray to Buddha when they are in a car wreck. We need something to hold onto.

Actually, many Buddhists (not all) don't view Buddhism as a "religon" , but more as a philosophy to live by.

We all search for something positive to live by.

This weekend, I asked Vicki what she lived by, if she wasn't religious. I was telling her (and she patiently listened) about my doubts and about how I found so many of Buddha's quotes inspirational, and that Christianity upset me, because I wasn't supposed to have a statue of Buddha in my house or try to live by his quotes, as long as I wasnt praying to him, but I could have a picture of Abraham Lincoln and George Washingtons head on a statue and that was alright. I could quote Martin Luther King, or Ellenor Roosevelt and make blankets that had their quotes all over them. I was talking to her about my doubts, and how I wanted to teach my daughter so many great things about her Cherokee Indian ancestors but wondered what I needed to omit for the sake of "Christianity", although it wouldn't hurt her. She pretty much said this to me :

"When I wake up, I feel blessed by all of this beauty, and I find the wisdom of someone who can find beauty in a single blade of grass so inspirational. I believe that religion isn't always wrong or right and that as long as it teaches you to be a better person, to live humbly, accept others, be peaceful, and to not depend on the "things" of this world, to be loving, kind and gentle, pray to who you wish."

I asked her if she was agnostic, she said "no, honey....I've been a Buddhist for over 25 years"

I had no idea.

She was patient and listened to me talk about Christianity for years.

She believed in "paying it forward", yet, never once talked about her source of inner peace.

That night when after we were unloading the car, I noticed a Buddha statue at the very top of her bookshelf in her livingroom, a living room I have been to hundreds of times. I said nothing, just smiled. (they are supposed to be at the highest place in the room, even if out of sight)

I noticed a quote in a picture frame in her husbands (a man who is soooo kind and decent and noble, I love to call him a friend too!) office, that said this:

"He who stands on tiptoe

doesn't stand form

He who rushes ahead

doesn't go far

He who tries to shine

dims his own light

He who defines himself

can't know who he really is."

It was neat insight.

I asked the UPS man, what made him in such a great mood everyday when he comes in,today, and he said "The Bible says "talk good things into happening", I'm sorry I am paraphrasing"

and I said "no, it's okay, I was taught about that, it's called "speaking into existence", you can do that with good or bad things, that's why we have to watch the power of our tongues".

He was surprised I knew.

It's not that I am "Oh, ye of little faith". I BELIEVE God has blessed me in abundance, and catch myself talking to him throughout the day. But I believe in Astrology, and am inspired by Buddha, and think meditation is great! I love the stories of the book, as guides, but don't believe them all. I know there is something that has held me tight, and watches over me, and I feel that it is MY FATHER,God...but it hurts to think that it has to be so black and white. I can not believe that a small child goes to hell for what it is taught, I can not believe that our God, would LET children be molested in places of worship. I believe in ghosts, and that some people have preminitions, and that they arent evil (as some, NOT ALL churches would tell). I just have a hard time with some things, and the only way to be sure, is to learn what works for ME, not what I am supposed to believe.

He who is not for me is against me?

You can't worship two Gods?

I am for him, and I dont worship anyone else.

I can understand the confusion. I really can.

All I can say to this, is.........................read the quote above. I should have earlier.

In response to the last post......(someone asked and laughed,via email)

2009-04-20T13:31:00.005-04:00

Well, it looks like Britney knows how to survive in the woods. Isn't she "special"? Prissy ass! I prefer the Betty Paige (I am woman, hear me roar.....and fall over )

First off, popping a squat in the woods IS HARD.....ecspecially if you don't know the "rules" and you have a dog with you, and are a tad bit tipsy (intoxicated). I tried it the "Betty Paige way -above" but my shorts didnt allow that much room to spread my legs. TMI-I know...but YOU brought it up!

Second, I do NOT smoke anything accept for an occasional Marlboro Light (and sometimes, if not stressed or drinking,which is rare-I get nauseous from those).

I have tried to smoke "pot", quite a few times in the past (before Andrea) and it made me a lunatic. I already am a few sandwiches away from the picnic, so paranoia was not much fun.....or the cotton mouth.EWwww. But I do think it is cool when classy and sophisticated people old enough to be my parents and older (like my Doctor,ha ha) do it.

I however, need to stay away. Nick is the same way.

Me:(sat. night after coming in the tent and explaining why my pants were in a bucket of soap water )Hey, I may not be the brightest bulb in the socket...but at least I'm not burnt out."

Vicki: Nope, no one can deny you are lit!!!

If 3 glasses of Merlot can make me do something that stupid...oh LAWD!

Tree-hugging,social smoker-Oxymoron, or just moron? You choose.

2009-04-20T10:50:00.008-04:00

This is how the Germans camp.......They know how to party!!!

But then again, all of that red wine and vodka makes that lady above let a little TOO loose!

I went CAMPING!!! Yes,I did. I was scared to go, I'll admit, but I went for it. Vicki is very logical (for you new followers, in my past archives, you can read about my Vicki) and we had the dog, so...Andrea and I packed as little as possible and went for it.

Andrea wasn't feeling bad anymore. Her nose was running, and from time to time she would cough, but she was full of energy and smiles, so I couldn't tell her "no". If she started to feel bad, we'd hang out in the tent. The weather was beautiful!

Much to my surprise, (and liking) we went to a local campground. Yes, the rednecks were,well, being RED, but they were happy and respectful, and as long as we have a clean bathroom and park rangers constantly on patrol, you could put me in the middle of a volcano, for nature and I get along really well. (I am not a fan of the ocean though....too sticky)

That is, as long as there are no crickets,snails, or raccoons, in my sight. Oh, or chickens....I'm really scared of chickens.

But I can deal with hikes, and dirt, and bugs, and spiders and snakes (as long as their black or garden, no rattles-thank you). This surprised Vicki. Her son (my ex) and husband were looking forward to watching her video (she left the camcorder) of Andrea and I camping. I even started a fire (on PURPOSE!!!) without any help from lighter fluid or special matches,etc. Just leaves,sticks,wood and a fire!

I can not put up a tent, and was very happy when I lost the camera that Vicki had with pictures to prove that.

We went on a hike, and pretended to be characters from The Lion,The Witch, and The Wardrobe, to keep Andrea's attention. Needless to say, she fell asleep before hotdogs or smores were made, but I saved her the best smore EVER (shoot ya the recipe later) and she ate it the next morning.

After Andrea fell asleep, my tee-shirt adorned (it's rare to see her without clothes right off the rack of Chico's), Vegetarian and Interior Decorating Queen, and 48 year old friend, pulled out 2 bottles of red wine, and a baggy of wacky tobaccy (which I refused, and she didn't smoke either). I was shocked, and she said that after she turned 45, she decided to "let more loose, when letting loose...you only live once". Hey, whatever floats your boat, but I couldn't do anything around Andrea, plus I get paranoid, and I could sooo see me waking Andrea up and telling her that we had to leave I was scared, and her getting scared. No, no.

But I did drink 3 big glasses, laugh my ass off, and retire to the tent pretty early.

Nothing out of the ordinary happened, but I am okay with that. I am too lazy and honest to make up anything (that was my first idea) and I picked a four leaf clover (whatever that means). I had a great time, with Andrea (showing her the trees and how to determine how old they were) and with Vicki, letting our hair down.

I think camping isn't just for the sporty types anymore. Anyone know where I can find a Damask Tent, or fashionable sleeping bag?

The only thing that did go wrong, was I woke up late to pee (and I was too lazy to go to the stalls) so I popped a squat (very unusual for me, I wont even pee in the ocean) and brought the dog with me (she doesn't need a leash) She saw a deer and knocked me over in pursuit of it. You can guess how well that went.

Look who's back in the HouZZZEE!!! (jk, getting a lil carried away)

2009-04-20T09:39:00.003-04:00

It took me a minute, BUT I AM BACK, (OK-you can stop clapping now, not necessary, really-awe,you're too kind....no no, you're fab!)it took a weekend, with good company, and the bare essentials (not the make-up, although that normally does perk me up,too-I must confess) to get back to feeling like "ME"!

I am thrilled, and can't wait to make a bigger deal than it was (and dramatize every small and boring detail) of my weekend camping trip. For right now, I want to finish my chai, and send you to a site that I can't steer clear of! Even if you aren't a mom, chances are, you will be, or know someone who is expecting, and you will get all exited after checking this out. REALLY! (I started picking out baby names, for children I won't b having for years....having children just to name them sounds like a good idea, but I don't think it really is.Now, a VOLVO...forget what Brooke says...THAT'S a good idea.Geez!

Anywho.....We'll meet back up in a few!

Love you, all............

oh, and quit sniffing that spray paint, B.Goddess....your nose is bright orange!

I'm Alive

2009-04-14T14:37:00.003-04:00

I am alive. I did not fall in the toilet and drown, I did not move away, or get kidnapped. I don't hate you, and am not mad at you!
That is in response to all of the texts and emails, that I have not been replying to. I normally talk,talk,talk. Lately, I have had a lot on my mind, and a lot going on, and talking about it, isn't getting me anywhere.
I have become a Spray Paint Queen. I no longer look at things as what they are, but what they can "become" and have gone on a spray painting SPREE. I find it rather theraputeic, but Nick wants to kill me. I did this once when I was younger when my mother bought me a "BeDazzler". After all of my clothes looked like minature versions of Elvis Pressley's Vegas Years, I regretted it. I also did this once with pink and green in my room. After a few months, it looked as though Lily Pulitzer vomited her Spring '02 collection all over my room. I deeply regretted this as well.
I am sure Nick wont let me regret the spray painting wicker and old furniture phaze that I am going through. Plus, the fumes are starting to make me sick. I did, however purchase stencils for my daughters room. Oooooh,La,La............
Thursday my daughter became very ill (not from my paint fumes) and I had to leave work early (if looks could kill) and pick her up. I could have left her with my mother and gone back to work, but I wanted to be with my child when she was sick. That's why it broke my heart that she had to go to her dad's Saturday. I can't get off of work for Spring Break, so she goes to stay with her father and his mother comes over while he works. It works out well, but this time I was more sad than usual. She started out with a fever of 102 degree tem. Threw up once, wouldnt eat, and just slept. By Friday she was at 104, and the doctor couldn't tell what was wrong.He ran test after test,strep,flu,pee,blood...I was balling inside, but staying strong, because she was. All she kept saying is,"I'm not sick, just sleepy". She didn't want to be treated like a "baby" and was soooo kind and gentle natured throughtout it all. Nick could learn a lil something from her behavior when she is sick, compared to his. I hate that she is away from me right now. Needless to say, I am NOT enjoying ONE second of our "vacation" away from each other. I would rather be ssured that she is having a great time, so that I can do.
So, it's not that I don't want to talk to you all lovely ladies, I love y'all. It's just that I do not want to talk. I'll have a ton to talk about later,I'm sure.
Hope y'all are having a great week, can't wait to get away from these "Home Decor" websites, to catch up on my blog reading. lol

This is going to sound mean,but....

2009-04-07T15:53:00.002-04:00

Either I keep losing one follower at a time (right after another signs up) or someone keeps "following" me, then "not following" me. This is really trivial, and is no big deal, but I just notice I go between 39, to 40, and back again.
If you don't like my blog, and you find this out bc I say something that offends you, or you have some other opinion of me,DON'T READ anymore, and def. don't follow me....and if you can't make up your mind, well, "Bless your heart", because you have a lot more patience than I do. I am following QUITE a few people now, who I would like to stop (so I can get updates more on the blogs I LOVE) but it's a lot more trouble to "stop following" someone than I care to deal with.
I am not mad, and this isn't a rant at all. I just thought it was a weird coincidence that it keeps increasing and decreasing by 1 number. Strange.
Either way. I am not very creative in my posts lately (which is sad).......either it means my life is boring, or my point of view or observations are. Ha,ha-either way. I want you all to know that I am reading, and love my BLOG friends, each and every 39,40,39...39 f ya! Have a great day!

COme get your awards!

2009-04-07T08:45:00.003-04:00

I have recieved a few awards before ...okay like two.And I complained about them. I mean I was thankful, but that is an awful amount of copying and pasting, I love everybody! So, I will assume (or my own self-assurance's sake) that THAT is the reason I have not recieved any lately.

Well, one of my FAVORITE, (I adore this girl, she is sooo charming) bloggers, gave me one! Can I get an AMEN?!?!?

With my lack of creative energy lately (hey,it all went to painting and bargain shopping-which,I will give you a few tips on soon) this is a no-brainer blog post for me, and a way to promote and show love to the blogs I love. So here goes!

Here are the rules for this award:

1) Put the logo on your blog or post

2) Nominate at least 10 blogs that show great attitude or gratitude

3) Link to your nominees within your post

4) Let the nominees know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog

5) Share the love and link to the person from who you received your award

I nominate.....(Drum Roll Please)

1. Yours Truly

2.Blue Violet

3.Shanna

4.Blonde Goddess

5.Shopaholic Blonde

6.Jenna

7. Absolute Splash

8.GingerSnap

9.Jacki has a great Attitude! She is always counting her Abundant Blessings!

10. A.H.I.T

11.and last but not least Bethany at Something to Talk about!

I hate rules!!! I live to BREAK THEM!!! RRRRRRRR! (not really)

Uhhh, Ok, I am tird of copying and pasting, peoples link.Sorry, if yours isnt posted. Im lazy!

So, I had to post one more! Bethany. (even though she does not have to participate, bc she sent it to me)

Actually, none of you HAVE to participate. Just spreading the love. Awwww.

Love'n these shoes!

2009-04-06T10:27:00.006-04:00

The Sam Edelmans I got a ..............T.J MAXX!!!! YEAH, for smart shopping! Normally they are $138.00 at Nords or Anthropologie, but I got them (flawfless condition) in black, with bronse beads, for $60.00. I was thrilled. (I thought they were tacky too, until I put them on. Classier than you think!)

And I got the "other ones". I swore I would never buy anything by this brand, but not only are they comfortable, they are wearable will almost anything. I might get a few other colors soon! I got black, but next Lime green or Turquoise, maybe ???? They were $61 and I got them for $30.

I still feel guilty for shopping instead of saving though :(

I finished my FURNITURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Re-Cap of my weekend

2009-04-06T09:29:00.004-04:00

I was painting from Friday 5:30 pm to Sunday at 1pm. I am sooo tired, that I cannot stand it!!! My body hurts in places that it has never hurt before, but that is ok-because my task has been completed. Nobody thought I could do it, and I did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY, it looks great too! Can't wait to show ya! I need to get a new bedspread though. I got the CUTEST shower curtain at Target, (it looks much better in person and Target wont let me cut and copy the pic...so) now, I think I need a big white comfy duvet and I am good to to GO!
Andrea started her THIRD round of swim lessons Saturday( looked so cute in her goggles!), and she really liked the instructor (it was a private lesson) so she is going to be in their group lessons (which is more economical) and I was offered a Swimming Instructor position :~D When asked, I responded ,"Okay, I couldn't teach my child to swim but you want me to teach other children to swim?" And she said that sometimes people learn through example by parents better, but directions from other people better.Hmmmm,makes sense.. I taught an adult how to swim at age 11, and have taught a few kids in my lifeguarding years,so for a Free Family YMCA pass, I might go in for a few hours every Saturday and teach. I miss the speedo's and indoor pool smell from my childhood. I need to brush up on my side stroke. She asked if I could do it, and I said "yes"..truth is,I know I could do it, but have somehow forgotten. It will come back to me.YOUTUBE video's anyone??? Send me the link, thanks!
I missed Nick like Crazy, and I know he missed me too, bc when he got back from New Bern, I noticed that in his phone it was changed to "Lovely" instead of "Queen B" -GREAT SIGN! Also, last night I got my "mojo" back-he should go out of town more often. (Ever notice how "mojo" can mean so many different things....at least I thought it did-oh,well)
Oh, and I only spent $90 and got enough groceries for 2 weeks, and didn't even use many coupons, and for nothing I didn't NEED! Yay! I used the leftover money to buy two pairs of shoes. I'll show you! :~D

I love this website! Turns Shabby Chic into something your husband will like (left my camera phone at home, or I would load pics of the furniture and Andrea with er goggles on, but my furniture is the same style as this...just black!) I just don't know how to read the prices. Dumb brunette on board!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO, small confession...I think I am a lil scared of some mentally handicapped people.

2009-04-06T08:20:00.001-04:00

I teach Andrea not to stare at people all of the time. I watch shows with her about children who have disabilities, and how staring and pointing hurts their feelings, and that they have feelings too. She understands, and I swear she has never reacted unkind, or strangely to anyone who was different. (accept for that SUPER dark Nigerian man in the show store, that tried to put her shoe on. she nearly climbed my back. The same exact way she did with the baboons at the zoo. This was all in the same month...and there was no pun intended. Please no hate mail, children are children! I am not saying that she saw a resemblance, just that maybe she was going through a phase that month where she scared easily towards certain things she had never seen, and she also climbled my back. I had her on my hip, she was 2)Anywho, I have always taught her and almost pointed (not with my finger,Geez-how rude would I be) out people who were "different" so that she would get used to it, and not stare or poke fun.
I guess that is why she didn't mind when the mentally challenged man asked if he could sit beside ME in the nearly empty movie theatre. Seriously, there were four other people (says alot about the movie "Coraline") in the whole movie on a Friday (it was around 6). After the movie started, a nice looking,well-dressed young man walks in by himself, and scouts the seats. As he reaches our row (dead center-no lie) he says "There is no-where to SIT!!!!!!!!!!" in a very loud voice! The only other people in the theatre, were in the back row, and started laughing. I thought maybe they were all friends, and acting immature. That is also what I thought as he walked directly up to me, and asked if he could have a seat. I thought this was an immature 17 year old punk, that would probably hit on me. I said "sure" as Andrea paid no mind (she was SO cute as she was all into the movie with her 3-D glasses on) and got prepared to let him have it in the most "kid friendly" yet venomous and belittling way possible, if her tried anything funny. I was so ready, that I lost track of the movie. I mean there are 100 other seats, why would you come sit down directly beside me?
As I attempted to watch the movie, he didn't talk to me. He ate his popcorn,very loudly, and guzzled his drink (bottled soda that he kept in his pocket).I tried hard not to look over at him, but my body language (left leg crossed over right , almost leaning over Andrea)suggested I was a tad uncomfortable. It wasn't until he dropped his popcorn on the ground , and started rubbing his head in circles,then retorting to sweeping his popcorn back into the bag,to just eat it again, that it really registered to me that something was maybe wrong with him, and that he was not just a highschool student acting stupid in a children's movie. (that Andrea loved bc it was creepy, but I should have read more about it, because she thought the full-figured burlesque dancers were funny, I thought it was a little too risque.)
At this point I felt bad for him and started to ease up a little bit. My grandmother who lived in Charlotte, Peggy (who was a character, I'll tell you more later),ran a group home for mentally challenged young adults. So, from the time I was an infant, until I was around 9, I was around young people with mental conditions, often. Most of the people in her nursing home had down syndrome, with an exception of Wick, who was hit by a car at 8, and never mentally grew past that point, and Wesley (I think he was just very eccentric..I never was told what was wrong with him-he was like the Rain Man) and were all so kind,and I loved them like fellow playmates.
As soon as I started to Ease up, that is when he belched really loud (he was taught to say "excuse me" very loudly )and then turned to me and asked (in a very low,bold) if he could have some of my popcorn!!!! I said I am finished you can have it. He said thank you, and right then, I told Andrea that I needed to go pee, and we left.
I don't know why I was so frighten, and I feel ashamed because of that. I also feel guilty for making Andrea leave her first 3D movie that I drove 45 minutes to go see (had to be #D) and paid $30 for (popcorn and drink included). But the situation was so creepy to me, and I would have felt the same way if he weren't mentally challenged. That would have been worse.
I don't know why I felt like letting this off of my chest. Am I a terrible person. Poor guy. Andrea said "Mommy, he sat beside you because he liked you"...and I told her that I just didn't like for strangers to sit so close to us when there were other places to sit. Hey, we all say the wrong things sometimes, and I am sure that statement will bite me in the ass one day. Oh well.
I need therapy!LOL
I bet I sound really ignorant,to everyone right now.
You really had to be there.

Frugal Friday!!!

2009-04-03T08:00:00.006-04:00

As you may know, I have attempted to clip coupons in the past to no prevail.I try to save, but its HARD! Yesterday, I set my mind to saving, not because I want to, but because I am TERRIFIED NOT TO!

I come from the WASTEFUL generation X! I was raised by a "Baby Boomer" who "bucked" the system in any way possible, who was raised by parents who survived The Great Depression. Surviving something like that stays with you. You learn to not take things for granted, and to make food,money, and clothing STRETCH! If I could come up with 1 good thing about this recession it would be THIS (actually I have a few good things that I can say about it): gone are the days of wastefulness and being spoiled and ungrateful!!!! For the first time in many of our LIFETIME's, we are learning to BUDGET,and maybe we will start to appreciate what we HAVE, and maybe, just maybe qw can start judging people based on character, not things (bye bye, Paris Hilton) and get back to Fundamental values that were SUPPOSED to be instilled in us!

I am not dogging anyones parents here, I am just saying, that our generation for the most part, has been spoiled, and I know from experience that sometimes the only way to learn, is from experience.

So, here today, I vow to use as many coupons as I can, smart shop,save and budget. I vow to make bigger dinners, then have leftovers, and re-create leftovers! I vow to PAINT that furniture this weekend (I finally got my paint, and supplies, and got a few people to help!) and not buy new furniture for my bedrooms, for quite some time! Let's see how this goes!

Oprah (I don't really like her) had one of my FAV women on yesterday,Suze Orman, and if you missed it...FIND IT ON THE NET! It was great!

I'm gonna try AGAIN to clip coupons via net.Wish me luck! I'll be back soon to tell you how it went. Any tips?

Please Visit OUR FRUGAL FRIEND's Blog!!! Great tips!

Click HERE for a FREE Sample of Dunkin Donuts Coffee!

Hey Strangers!!!!!

2009-04-01T13:06:00.008-04:00

I have been so bad lately. Horrible! I caught myself dusting in between my computer keys with a twisted up napkin (tempted to huff the electronic cleaner, just to see what the fuss is about-jk, kinda) and realized.........I have not been blogging lately! I mean I KNEW that I was M.I.A to my second home (my cyber home) but, I stopped at this time to think about why. Why, you ask? Because I feel like I have nothing profound or important to say. Sure there are a ton of products I would like to tell you about,but I FEEL deep right now. I want to write about something deep, but in all actuality, my thoughts this past week have been rather shallow.

Well, you are my blogger friends (in my heart, you're just "friends") and if I FEEL deep, but am thinking SHALLOW, then I can talk to you guys anyways. You read because you want to. No one is making you, no one makes you feel bad if you don't, and that's what I love about this Bloggy-Blog World. Honest to Blog!

So, Damnit,if I want to write about products, By Golly (what did I just say,WTF????) then what better place to do it?!?!?!

So, here goes..............

I am a traitor. I said I only liked Vera Wang makeup bags, because I was not ready to look like an "East Coast Carolinian Suburbanite Mom of a kindergartner", but I pulled out two of my Vera Wang bags this weekend, and attempted to carry them, and I loooove them. Soooo comfortable,animal-friendly and WASHABLE!!! I can see why people buy the luggage now! I just have one request!

Vera,

Please make something a little more edgy, or trendsetting, at least vintage or eclectic. I am not ready to pull out my Capri's and keds yet. No bike riding to the farmers market with my straw hat on yet. Sorry!

The Curly Fry

And another newfound love of mine, that is not a new product...... is Bare Escentauls /Bare Minerals! It has been found tried and true that Bare Minerals is a winner, but I have never tried their other products besides the award winning mineral powder face makeup that took the world by storm via T.V infomercials years ago.. This weekend, I got a little bit of EVERYTHING, and boy.... if you think it's all the same, you have no idea what you are missing!

The eyecolors (all colors really) are more vibrant than Mac or Lancome (if that's your thing) if primed with their Prime Time eye primer (and with a dab of this product in the top of your lid,any eyecolor instantly becomes eyeliner,too!). Gooooood God almighty! This stuff stayed perfectly in place AS I SLEPT (hey, they say it's so gentle you can sleep in it!). I even went all out Tammy Faye style (just for the sake of argument with my friend Ashley, who says the makeup looks too natural for her!).Word from the wise: (not me, the Salesperson) They have more colors to choose from in the Bare Escentuals than anywhere else, because you can mix pigments, if your imagination is bigger than theirs(doubt it!) Among some of my favorites are Queen Tiffany,Grace,Oz, PussyCat,Sex Kitten, and 1990's, to name a few!

They have an "all over face color" called "Trudy" that I hate to admit, beats out my longtime love, Nars Orgasm Blush, by a longshot. It's dewy, yet powder, easily adjustable, and multi-faceted. It makes you look healthy,and somehow ...hydrated! I use it as a Blush (it is much more peachy than brown in person, and works great as a bronzer)

Even their Buxom Lip Polish is a masterpiece! It plumps without burning (made with menthol,so it cools) or drying your lips out (it actually moisturizes) and comes in a huge tube! The color stays put, but isn't sticky, and my favorite color "Dolly" is a perfect neutral mauve to compliment any skin tone!

I love you Bobbi Brown, for your tinted moisturizer and eyebrow brush, but I will never purchase another item from you besides that again!

And as for Mac, well, I think I have outgrown you a little bit!

For the price, pigment,the amazing brushes(my fav's are The Kabuki brush for Max. coverage, and the Soft is perfect for the mineral veil....my fav. being this ) the natural, and healthy ingredients, Bare Escentauls and Bare Minerals...can not be beat! (I still don't like their mascara, though!)

If you think the face brushes are a lil pricey, try getting a starter kit, it's such a good deal and even comes with a dvd to help guide you !

Give them a try (or two, if you don't think its for you...b/c it does take practice using loose powders, and it is a big change from regular makeup) and get ready to be MADE UNDER!!!!

It's a Beautiful Day in the neighborhood!

2009-03-30T14:19:00.003-04:00

Quote for the day! "Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."-- Mother Teresa

Okay, today is going pretty *FANTASTIC* for me, as you can probably tell by my lack of blogging. Mondays are my least favorite day of the week (I know, I am pretty darn unique) but today has gone well.

Big D is out of the office (who I am liking more in the past few months than I have in the past few years.) so I have more work (yay) and the sun is finally shining.

No good news on the furniture. It rained like CRAZZZY this weekend, and well...Nick doesn't like paint fumes....but that is a good thing, because one of our sub contractors GAVE me 2 gallons of primer and 2 gallons of paint. It really pays to be nice to everyone.(not as though I ever thought I could use their help with anything, but you know my philosophy) So, that is saving my quite a few pennies, and hopefully the weather will be just as wonderful this weekend as it is today!

Okay, I have no *TOPIC* to write about, so this is some rather pointless ramblings, but -hey they are small things that have made me happy, so-I thought I'd share. Aww, no big deal. You don't have to thank me!

Andrea went to her dad's house over the weekend. I was always super close with Andreas grandmother from her dad's side, but after 4 years of heartbreak I realized that she IS Andrea's fathers Mother, and that she will take his side and is not REALLY as loyal to me as I thought she was. She isn't a complete backstabber, but you know how it goes. Some mothers think their sons can do no wrong, and well...Andrea's dad...you get the point. I was constantly critiqued and surveyed, and I never measured up. Especially after I took him to court. All the friendship and talks and favors we did for each other went right out the window at that time. Hey, but loyalty is loyalty. And I have a lot more respect to someone who can only be loyal to ONE person at a time, instead of no one EVER. We were close, but that is her BABY. I am loyal to Andrea, but hopefully I will still be able to decipher between right and wrong. Who knows...I doubt it.

Anywho.... I waited and waited for Her to meet me with Andrea. She was unusually late. She showed up with my favorite ice cream in cups, and we all sat in the parking lot and ate icecream. She told me, for the first time "I am very happy that Andrea has you as a mother. I see you in her all of the time, and I am very proud of the way you have raised her." This was really a great thing for me to hear. As soon as I stopped searching and trying to win her approval, and just doing what I needed to do.....I was rewarded. A compliment isn't necessary. I do not validate my self -worth based on others opinions or compliments, but sometimes.... to hear one, is like someone stroking your heart,and it makes you childishly happy. I appreciated that.

Today at work, one of my "superiors" that I joke around with a lot, and feel pretty comfortable being myself around, stopped me as I was walking my his office. He said "I meant to tell you Friday, but you had already left, that you did a great job on the meeting minutes that Robin gave to you. I just wanted you to know that".That made me happy as well. Maybe I am not invisible (ha ha) at all. Maybe I will be given more responsibilities, and prove myself to be more than just a perky face to "LIVEN UP" the office setting (as it was once put) and I can prove that " I may not be the brightest bulb in the socket, but I ain't (ha ha-ever use that word..okay?) burnt out either! I made sure to tell my boss, that I am pretty darn good at those meeting minutes. (nothing wrong with tooting your own horn every once in a while) and he laughed and agreed.

Nick cooked dinner last night and my mother and Aunt came over to visit Andrea for a little while. I purchased a new cushion thingy (kinda like a feather bed) for Andreas bed and we watched The Nanny Diaries (kinda cute) and fell asleep together. It was a pretty good night!

She woke up in a great mood this morning, and even though I was 15 minutes late, I still managed to make it in before the boss's.

I couldn't be happier today.

Sometimes it's just the LITTLE THINGS that you have to find joy in, if you want to make everyday count.I believe after I think this way for a while, everything in life may really start to seem to fit together.

I am grateful that the Lord shows us this, but most of all..I am grateful for the times when my eyes are open enough to see them, and my ears are listening to his directions!

I know I am being quite boring, sorry :(

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things!

2009-03-27T08:49:00.014-04:00

Above is a note Andrea wrote me, while here at work with me one day. She is so ecxited about reading and writing. I am sooo proud!

This is a quote that helped me get through a really hard time in my life. Not anything like a breakup, ora friend being mad, one of those times, where you don't know what God's plan is, and you don't know if you can make it through to watch it unravel or get better. One of those times where you FEEL like a VICTIM, but you can't become one, because too much is counting on you to be strong. Great Author!

I put this here to tell me to SMILE, at every single person that walks through the door,EVERYONE...whether it be a Architect or the UPS man, we all put our pants on one leg at a time, and you never know what a smile from a stranger could mean to someone. Sounds silly, but it's a free gift, I try giving it someone unexpected in the grocery store, or on the street everyday. One way of "Paying it Forward"!

Sometimes these short notes, mean more than a few words to me. When I start to compare myself, or want to give up...they remind me of simple truths!
And I love those pics of my Darling Diva!

And again, a quote that keeps me humbled (like I need it, but sometimes I can act too big for my britches,lol) on accident.

I am a firm believer that many things in life are "mind over matter" so this helps me get my thoughts in check!

I don't COMPLETLY believe we are responsible for our own fate, but we are responsible for part of it. God gives us the ability to make choices and free will for a reason. The rest of this quote kinda is in tune with the "Pay it Forward" mindframe. Too bad Madonna didn't do that with Guy. :(

Showing the same thing, again!

This is my new purse (I'll write more about that in a minute) and my makeup bag. I love Vera Bradley mkeup bags b/c they are soft, and I now know they are washable. They fit in your Hobo bags and gym bags easier b/c they are cloth instead of plastic. I don't dig their pocketbooks so much,though!

I just love this purse, like I said..I'll tell ya more, soon!

And the fish tank! Awwww, the are so pretty.They are shy and dont like to have their pics taken, at all!

Okay, so it's raining, and my tummy hurts ( I drank a mountain dew and had a Heath Bar for breakfast!) But I REFUSE to allow this to be a SHITTY day, damn it....I refuse!!! My new bumped up dose of Cymbalta and my great outlook on life are just not going to let these rain clouds or the fact that Nick canceled going out of town, AFTER I made HUGE plans to have all my closest friends (and one who he hates and calls Ab-byNormal...get it?) over for drinks (hopefully I could get them drunk enought to help me sand my furniture). But now....we'll that plan is a dud. He loves my friends to death, and they love him, but with Nick, he says what he feels. He tries not to, but when you look at his face when he doesn't like something, it kindof gives it away.Hell, at least he is honest. And, Abby is going through a rough time (he says she does it to herself and needs help) and doesnt need him being, well...an unsympathetic guy. He should have been a yankee (no offense xoxoxo). He speaks his mind,alright!

So, yeah...where was I ? Are you still reading? Anywho, I am not gonna let ANYTHING upset me. Hold me to it,y'all!

I decided to post a few of my favorite things that are here with me at work today! You are going to see how messy my desk is, my notes to keep me positive and motivated, and little things that give me joy. You might also see whats inside my messy purse. Now, if I could only figure out how to post pics UNDER this paragraph and write notes above the pics.

To be continued......

Like I am a celebrity and anyone cares. ha ha

I am gonna be blogging a lot today,I can tell!

Am I up for a Home Makeover Challenge? Let's Hope So!

2009-03-26T12:55:00.004-04:00

I don't know if any of you know this, but I am absolutely the most un-creative person when it comes to home decorating. Actually, let me take that back. It's not that I am not creative, it's probably that I am too creative and have 12 different decorating personalities. One minute I want to be shabby chic, the next modern and sleek, and the next, eclectic and artsy. I love the beach look, the uptown loft look, the cottage in Ireland look, I can not make up my mind! Decorating your home is much more pricey, time consuming, and semi-permanent than dressing yourself. I can be creatively bi-polar when it comes to my wardrobe...but my house, well-not so much. That is why for the most part, it is currently, un-decorated. (It was ALL shabby chic, now I am sooo over that...and Nick hated living in a dollhouse)

I have decided to start one bedroom at a time (Nick is only allowing me this right now, because he #1 doesn't want me to spend the money or the time on it, #2 HE wants to buy and pick out new EVERYTHING when we buy our new home!) So, the bedroom is where I am starting.

I have bedroom furniture already that is made out of oak. I am so tired of that color. I have a more luxurious bedspread, in a deep olive green, and have a few accessories in gold, lamps that are tortoise shell designed glass, and crystal. I am making the leap this weekend, and painting all of my furniture like the pictures above. CANT WAIT to show you all the before and after photos! Y'all make me stick to it, OKAY?!?!

My furniture is very close in design, so I think I can pull this look off. I went to a vintage/consignment shop to look for a headboard to paint. No luck...but I did find some beautiful pictures, 4 of them, for $50. Yipee!

I know this look may be played out, but I still like it. Let's just pray that I can get my creative juices flowing, and execute this look properly by Sunday. WORK WORK! Pray for me....and Nick (I may get cranky!)

I'm too sexy for my..................What Am I too sexy For? hummmmm.

2009-03-26T08:24:00.002-04:00

Aywho...Big Ups (ha ha,Ali G) to A.H.I.T for giving me the "SExy Bloggers AWARD"!!! Yay, I have always thought I was pretty darn sexy, glad someone else does too! (that doesn't have a penis...I'm not gay, just sayin'-OH FORGET IT!)
I pass this award to.........
Yours Truly NOT ME, (even though that does seem like something I would, do-give it to myself, but this cutie Pie!)Sassy Southern Blonde, with killer hair, and a wardrobe to die for! ..and What a TAN!
Shopaholic Blonde she is VERY SEXY, I think. I would not like to be in a room with her without my makeup on, and a very padded bra, and my thongs showing out the back (ha ha) ...
Blonde Goddess. This woman, is like the Madonna before she got all wirey like a Greyhound, no more like Sharon Stone after that one movie, before she got all weird on us.You get my point. She is all woman, not scared to talk about things that make us nervous, and oozes confidence. Pretty darn Sexy to me!
Spicey Wifey..........The Name says it all!
I could go on and on, but am getting lazy! I'll come back to this

Blessing in Disguise

2009-03-25T08:30:00.002-04:00

I am sure many of you have friends who have this sweet demeanor and are very non-confrontational. I am not one of those friends. If something bothers me, I may (sometimes not) give it a little while to think over how to approach you, but you will get approached, and either the problem will get resolved, or we will agree to disagree. Rarely do we get angry with each other, but I will speak the truth as I know it, about my feelings,etc. I have learned recently that not all people are like that. There are a lot of things that seem like common sense knowledge that I have just recently learned, and one that seems obvious to others, but not to me, is that it is hard for some people to address you when they have a problem with something you have done. It however, is almost NEVER hard for these people to tell someone else who is having the same problem with you. I don't blame them for this. It is human nature. Some people call it gossip, but for those people who bottle it up, it is almost like therapy. It doesnt make them a backstabbing snake, unless when they are confronted, they lie, or try to place blame on someone else. Sometimes, they mean well, but don't know how to confront you.
Yesterday this happened to ME! Two girls at work were talking about me, nothing catty,
and it was a valid issue about my work ethic that they were speaking of.We will call them Sandy and Rose. Sandy is a little more outspoken, and came to me yesterday after her and Rose talked, and pretty much let me know that there was an issue, not in a mean way, and her being as honest as she is, when I asked who was talking about this with her she said,"Rose and I". What? Rose? Sweet, Rose? Rose is one of my FRIENDS at work (one thing I have learned is that co-workers are not always friends, but nice because it is professional, I respect that and do the same thing) but I considered Rose a true friend. We dont hang out on the weekends, but we talk on the phone sometimes, she helped me move some furniture once, and is my "lunch buddy". I think I know Rose pretty well. When I heard that Rose was talking about me, it stung. Worse than if almost anyone else in the office would. But in a way, it was almost necessary. Rose always see's the good in everyone, and rarely talks about anyone negatively. She is very tenderhearted, and like I said before, not confrontational. My first reaction with a "non-Rose,type" would be to tell them to "Go Kick Rocks", but #1 I am at work, and #2 I really like Rose. I know that if Rose said it, she meant it, and there was a problem. And there was. I called Rose and asked her, she was embarrassed, but admitted to everything. She told me that she didnt know how to tell me what she was thinking and that she was incredibly disappointed in herself for speaking about me to Sandy and not me. Not that anything is wrong with talking to Sandy about anything, just not about someone who you consider a friend, and not that friend. I told her that it was okay, we all have done it before, and that I thought it was kind of a "wake-up call".
Truth is, there is a problem at my job. I started seeing a Psychiatrist when I had 4 regular doctors try to put me on anti-depressants. "I dont feel depressed" was my reaction, and so I wanted an expert opinion. I knew I had anxiety, but that was it. Well, the Psychiatrist confirmed that I was depressed and explained that not everyone has suicidal thoughts, bouts of crying, fits of rage, or even a gloomy attitude, there are so many other symptoms. I still was not convinced.
Lately, I have had car problems, I have been sick, but also, I just dont want to wake up to go to work. I guess I feel as though I am unproductive and a waste of space at my job. I have asked over and over for more responsibility, but with all of the traffic that comes in the front door, it is important that I can talk to and assist everyone. But this is slow season, and I am rather bored. The weather is getting to me, and I maybe do feel a little more hopeless than I realized.
Yesterday, Rose saying something about it, opened my eyes, and made me want to put my best foot forward again. It was a wake up call, and in a strange way, I am thankful for it!

I love Mullets! ewww, and dont laugh at my UGLY pic with the peach shirt.Please. :~D

2009-03-23T11:20:00.013-04:00

Not really. I hate them. But the "semi-mullet" cut I have, suits me. I told her I wanted something that was easy when in a hurry, still long, but when I wore it straight I could look trendy. The blonde highlights were thinner than I would like (she told me that I need to do it gradually b/c my hair is sooo damaged, and they would tone done) and too light. Oh well, it does brighten me up a little! I love the weight that is taken off ! I love the fact that I can jump out of the shower, put a little of my new curl creme from Bumble and Bumble in and go, or if I want, straighten the front, or I can go straight all over. Look at my face in the salon. Not a happy camper. I did not want to take pictures right then. She always wants me to wear my bangs in my face. I dont like that. But she loves me, and I love her. (she thanked me for taking a klonopin before getting my treatment, because normally I can't sit still!!!)

I was making wacky faces at work this morning. Ha, just being stupid.So, here is me new do! I got up the courage, and if you have comments it wont hurt my feelings,I have to go in to get a reconstructive treatment and color gloss in a few weeks, I can fix it then :D

But so far, I like it, because it is sooo EASY! No heat needed.

Quote of the DAY!!!, Oh,so~Magenta~!

2009-03-20T08:42:00.002-04:00

You probably want me to quote Aristotle or Shakespeare, but oh no....I'm not that deep, so here goes...................

"Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation.. so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type.. I'm like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh,no- you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "no -I'm sorry- I want magenta!""John Mayer

No, John-I dont have this problem ! I meet the wanna be crayolas, that are really some off brand. Sure, they HAVE 64 color (sometimes more) but they are dysfunctional and don't color at all like they promise to on the box.I think I am def. a 64 color box. Sure most of mine are broken, and my metallic gold wrapper has been peeled off, and Pea-Soup Green has been chewed (don't act like you never tried a crayon with a food name)..but in the end, my picture still looks pretty vibrant compared to the more "primary" colored ones.

I just wish I could meet a PURPLE every once in a while. I thought Nick was a "Sea Foam Green". I never meet anyone that simple, yet interesting. I always meet the REALLY waxy crayons that look so vibrant and great in the box, but once you try to color with them, they are a different color than what you expected.

Tag, YOURSELF, youre it! :~D

2009-03-19T08:13:00.003-04:00

1.My daughter is a thing! (and my friends and fam)

2.Tyler Hansbrough! Psycho!!!!!!!!!!.........making white kids look more athletic everyday!...all while using that Charles Barkley"crazy,don't mess with me" vibe! But, c'mon-he kisses his gfriend before every game...hoooooow SWEET! Keep your fingers X tonight!!! DUKES PUKE!

3.Pi-Yo. A mix between Pilates and Yoga, and it is a surprise I like it, bc I look like an idiot, and realize how NOT flexible I am everyday. ( you arent supposed to want to beat the girl in the front of the class with your shoe for being a SHOWOFF..I mean flexible)

4.John Mayer's Lips,I mean Room For Squares C.d. Okay, this was the c.d that brought "Your Body is a WOnderland" to the radio world...but dont hold that against him! I can listen to this cd, start to finish(hard task for me...finish? what does that mean?) I think John Mayer sneaked into my bed, I mean brain one night and took ALL of my thoughts and put it into music. SWEAR!

5.Mango (or papaya) Click there for recipies and cool site-----> Mojito's.... or should I say "Mojito" bc I can only drink like one or four!

6.Athleta (Yours Truly made me want to share this). I can't afford to buy many things from this place, but OMG!!! if I could. I would workout ALL day, or at least dress like it!(Ever seen those Fat dudes who wear gym clothes all day bc they THINK it makes them look athletic? Yep, that might be me one day, if I were to be able to buy EVERYTHING from this catalog. I mean EVERYTHING is cute (accept the full bottomed bathingsuits-ewww-just wear boyshorts or a one piece!) oh, and the models are soooo fit, it makes me SICK!!! not that "supermodel, I dont eat, fit", the cool "I take care of business,fit". WOW

and 7. BLOGGERS! I love Bloggers (most of them) .......its like our own Secret Society! And I love the girls in mine!

and............I love Spicy Tuna Roll...and that white sauce that you get at the Japanese Restaurant, oh, and Pad Thai. I'm hungry :(

Okay, so The winners of my Kreativ Award go to (Yours Truly, I cant add you, bc if I do, you will have done it twice! I'd lose my stuff if I had to do it twice)

1. The "Oh,so SWEET!"Shanna Banana

2.Raven is very dysfunctional (I think she is pretty darn normal), and HAPPY about it! CHECK IT OUT!!! (I said that like Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time!)

3. My new friend, and new Blogger Jenna! She'll help you open your minds and hearts after reading her Emotional Rollercoaster :~D <3

4.Sarah in her lil AWESOME WORLD! She probably won't do the whole "tag" thing...but this girl is UBER cool, and has a great nose for fashion!

5.A H.I.T...bc that is JUST WHAT SHE IS!!! A Hit! and an NYC Housewife in Training. How cool is that?

6.Shopaholic Blonde! I just took you from an ex Fashion Week Worker with Sarah, to an NYC H.I.T, and now to Arizona to meet my awesome, sunbathing, Ed Hardy wearing, Truck Driving, and Pool Loving mother and wife. This girl LOVES to shop (hence the name) and boy does she ever!

7.And last but not least A Form of Therapy, because I believe we all could use some!

Swimsuits for those of us, who like FastFood!

2009-03-18T13:00:00.003-04:00

I am normally pretty good about not OVEReating! I also love to workout, and take care of my body....but this past week, I believe that my body and cravings have been possessed by either a teenage boy, or an Anna Nicole Smith (pre-Trim Spa days). Anyone up for some Nesquick and Dorito's, or powdered donuts?

I have been eating like CRAZY, and that makes you lazy! I am officially through with this faze though. I am suffering from a "food hangover" as we speak, due to Sat,Sun and Monday. They say "Eat to Live, dont Live to Eat"...well I did, and now I am .........FULL!

My, how you can put on a few pounds in a few days.And my bathingsuits arent looking so hot!!! (or at least as hot as they did last week, which wasnt to be confused with Demi Moore in Charlies Angels..but still) So..I have a great idea! For those days when you feel like having a few extra orders of fries...I mean pieces of ...bread, buy a bathingsuit that flatters your body type for those occasions, but don't empty your bank account!

Newport News, isnt just your crazy aunt's catalog anymore. Don't get me wrong, for those of you who still rock the Mom Jeans (bless your hearts) they still cater to that side too (I threw up in my mouth flipping through a few pages) but they do have some inexpensive finds for those on a budget..........If you can make it that far without an overwhelming feeling of nausea!

So, go grab a N.N catalog, and keep your trashcan nearby! (Hey, I know you arent saying anything...it's the same as going out and knowing that you are going to drink soo much that you lose a few pounds the next morning!) You might be surprised at what you find!

The Bathingsuit above is my "One buffet too many" suit of choice(although I might grab some different bottoms for when I can wear something skimpier). At $29, can you afford NOT to look!?!?!

Life is like a bicycle.To keep your balance, you must keep MOVING!!! -A.Einstein

2009-03-17T12:47:00.004-04:00

Ok, I will go ahead and say it, for those who don't know already. "I AM HYPER". I like to call it "active", my family calls it "high strung", my boyfriend calls it "everywhere" and my friends call it "FUN! (and sometimes exhausting)". I just call it hyper!
As a child, I wasn't more hyper than other children. REALLY, ask my teachers-GOSH! I had a very "hyper mind though" and could not pay attention. If you have a hyper active child, you KNOW the difference. No offense here, I am sure you love them, and even LIKE them (family is the only way that you can love someone, but not like them at the same time) when they have wore themselves out. "Little Willy is such a sweetheart, when he is ASLEEP!"
That was not me! Ask my MOTHER! I could notpay attention to save my life, and was often put in the principles often for reasons that I did not understand. When I told my mother "I dont know". I wasnt lying. I didnt! I was thinking about mermaids and House of Style on Mtv when my 3rd grade teacher repeadatley called my name. I was not ignoring her!!! I didnt hear her. I was deep in THOUGHT, thank you!
I was prescribed Ritalin, which made me a zombie, that did not want to eat. I paid attention INTENSLY while on this medicine.So much that my head would hurt, my eyes would hurt from reading, and I could not SLEEP! GREAT!
Not until well into my teenage years (17 or so) did I become HYPER! I was not some freak kid who acted like he smoked Crack until I was 17!!!! That is embarrasing, but somewhat true (at least Nick says so, because unless napping or reading,I cant sit still long enough to get a pedicure. I have to do my own, out of boredom!) I constantly chew straws, tap my foot, or fidget, while sitting at my desk job (where I am confined to a desk ALL DAY LONG) and when at home, I can rarely sit still to eat (that and all of the calories that I burn FIDGETING probably contribute to my petite size and higher than normal metabolism)
I have decided that I dont mind being like this AT ALL, but I do need some type of fun, energy asserting outlet that I can do with the family (the gym is great, but I cant bring Andrea along on the dreadmill) and am taking the plunge into getting the WII Fit. It is expensive, but it has to be well worth the $$$, RIGHT? Does anyone have any opinions on it?
Here is a review I read.
I am sold.

Remember that "The Best ears of corn, always hang lowest to the ground"

2009-03-17T10:00:00.003-04:00

Today I have nothing to talk about, in my own personal life. It wont quit raining, and so things have been rather dull in my neck of the woods. I hate that phrase "neck of the woods". Anoter phrase I hate is " give them the evil eye", or "break a leg". Evil eye is a curse that people believed years ago that was put on children or business's by someone looking at it with envy. No one CHOSE to "give you the evil eye" , it was a hex, that was given by a look, that was unintentional, but based on a thought. Dolls were often made for new babies and even adults, to ward off "the evil eye".
"In Sicily and southern Italy, however, it is believed that some people--jettatore-- are malevolent and deliberately cast the evil eye on their victims. Belief in the evil eye is not necessarily associated with witchcraft or sorcery, though Evil Eye was something Church inquisitors were instructed to look for. Pope Pius IX was reputed to be a jettatore, not because it was thought he was malevolent but rather because it seemed that disasters fell upon persons and places he had blessed."
I have no idea where "break a leg" came from, and I am too lazy (this could change at any moment) to look it up. Does anyone have an idea, or even care? Ha Ha. No, you all probably have more important things to do! :~D
You wanna know who I would give the evil eye to? Jane Fonda. She is SUCH a douche bag, (all of her anti-war things were great and all, but spitting on our Vietnam Vets, as they came home...c'mon! They didnt want to be out there,either!) but yet, she did have a really great body,raise some gorgeous kids, and was STUNNING in her youth. She looks great now!!! She was born in 1937, so she is up there.........and still looks younger than her age, and has not had cosmetic surgery!
I heard some man spit on her a few years back. That is kinda funny, sad, but funny.

The Ghost of BLOGSPOT

2009-03-17T09:55:00.002-04:00

has somehow erased ALL of the people that I am following.
I have been wondering why no one was really writing as much, then today..............EVERYONE was gone!
So, if I havent been commenting lately, it is bc I thought you were on vacation from the blogworld, and I apologize. :(

And the Winner of the Cherry Earrings Is..............

2009-03-16T16:05:00.002-04:00

Shanna @ http://shannalane.blogspot.com/!
Shanna said that she would help paraplegics and those who are told they could never walk again by making therapy more affordable and giving them some hope!
"My dad has checked in to different physical therapy & rehab around the U.S. but golly gee they are not in his budget! It’s a shame that so many American’s take the use of their legs for granted…" "The reason why I would want to specifically help this group of people is because at one point in life they could walk & after their injury…not only are they dealing with physical issues due to this, but how depressing must it be to not be able to do a lot of things in life that you used to "
Everyone had the greatest answers (all 7 of you!) but this answer was different and something that is a little out of the norm. and maybe often gets forgotten due toall of the other tradgedies in life!

I wish we could "Pay it forward" in small doses every day!
Last night Andrea and I watched the Home Makeover show (cant remember name right now, ha ha) and I always cry. Andrea was like" what is so sad?" I told her "nothing,sometimes we cry because we are happy. I'll get into it more before bed".
When I tucked her in, I told her that if you do ONE good deed for one person, UNSELFISHLY, expecting NOTHING in return that God, will give you 10 blessings throughout your life. That might not sound like much, but think of all of the HUNDREDS of children the woman on the show was feeding, and clothing, and giving her own valuables away for. Last night, she was blessed in ABUNDANCE...and the blessing doesnt stop there. It will go on and on, and always be in her heart.
Everyone's answers meant so much-and were all heart felt! I loved reading them all, and got a great look into your hearts!
God bless ya!

I received a beautiful card from Marcy, with my last purchase...that said "Thank You for the support and wonderful blog.Enclosed is a Twilight inspired (my fav. book) necklace.My way of saying thank you, and Paying it Forward"
Now, I have to give something to someone that belongs to me, that would mean a lot to them, that I would not miss. I have to Pay IT Forward.
..........and the chain CONTINUES!

I will post pics tomorow when my camera will work :(

Good Morning!!!

2009-03-16T08:25:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I did NOT get my hair cut. I need a little bit more time to think about the color....and thank you soooo much for all of y'alls comments! I heart y'all so much. "Don't do it!" was my favorite! Thanks Mary! :~D
I am NOT going to bleach out the top. Moment of insanity for me for a minute.THAT'S why I didnt even go. I am for sure about my semi-mullet! I love that hair do, but no Raven- you are too sweet.....my face can't wear a LOT of things, I tried green in jr.high...it made me look very yellow.Yuk!
Soooooooo............my weekend.
Besides Nick making me stay up WAY too late last night to watch this movie that was so scary that I wanted to cry(don't watch Quarentine!!!!!!!!!!!!!)..........................I stayed at a friends on Sat (long story there...got a few hours-ugh) and cleaned and all that good stuff! GREAT!
After I have my cup of coffee, I will tell you about my Sat night.Whoa...........

New DO!!!!

2009-03-13T12:33:00.005-04:00

Do we have any hairdressers out here? No...didn't think so. They are all "too cool" to be on the net. They are dealing with hangovers at this type of day. JK! My BFF is a haridresser and although she IS uber cool, she does not have a hangover, EVER!

I was gonna be a hairdresser, but anywho!!!! BEAUTY SCHOOL DROPOUT!!!!!!!!

So....I am thinking of getting a new do! I AM...this sat! I even tried this website up there!!!!

I miss being a blonde,really badly...but I like being a brunette, so I am going to do what all hairdressers and well, Trendy Mindy's who cant make up their minds EITHER (and a lot of rednecks lately) do, and get the super blonde chunks at the top and framing the face, but leave all of the rest realllllly dark. Hopefully I wont look like Elvira!

I also am getting a pretty risky with the cut. Anyone ever heard of a ...oh,crap-I forget the technical name...Its pretty much a semi-mullet!Pictured above (accept no bangs for me,Nick hates them..and I dont like them in my eyes!) I've had it before, and my friends were so scared when I wore it straight that it would be a mullet....but it wasnt! (I gotta cut some of this dead stuff off) Anyways, pray it looks HOT...because if not,I'll hear it from Nick,a nd then I'll be a bitch and no one wants that!

What do you think? Tell me the truth! Taking the plunge tomorow!

PLEASE dont follow me on Tweeter. ha ha

2009-03-13T08:20:00.004-04:00

Ok, I was talking to my Bloggy Blog friend Jessica (she's a peach! check her out!!!!) and we were talking about Twitter. What is the point? To follow someone around all day and see what they are doing?
Ok, let me get this straight.....in today's society, it is okay to have people follow you around and admittedly CARE that much about your day to day tasks? Good thing I didnt put up...."Jade is at the Corner of Fairview and Sharon Rd right now pumping gas". Geez, I thought there was something more to it!
We tell our children to "beware of internet predators" and then we TELL PEOPLE WHAT WE ARE DOING, and they can check it out throughout the day??? I have to agree with Marcy here, I COULD BE A SMELLY OLD MAN (I still resent the smelly part worst of all, -why,as if man isnt bad enough?) and because I post a pretty picture (I think its pretty, you should see me when I wake up in the morning,ewww) you wanna tell me what you do throughout the day?
Granted, I doubt anyone would post what street corner they are working,I ,mean pumping gas on....it still doesnt sit well with me.
If your 15 year old daughter has a highschool classmate, who she doesnt know is strangely obsessed, and she puts "going to my best friends house to watch movies, so glad we got the house to ourselves to relax without Mom nagging"...that "so-called" normal classmate, probably already knows what friend that is and where.
Ok,I could be a little paranoid...but you can never be too safe. From now on, I will not be telling people the truth...that I am watching EVERY WIRE episode all day, as I sit on my couch rubbing Funyun crumbs on my holey sweatshirt (wow,I do sound like a man now!) while Nick and Andrea are shopping for Wii games. I will lie and make up something remarkably cool, like...........(what do cool people say now-a-days???) I am taking a jog with Fergie through Central park!
That's cool,right? No
I am practicing my dancing moves with Patrick Swayze on a log ,I am soooo exhausted!
That's better

Plurk

2009-03-12T15:16:00.002-04:00

I dont know what this is.........but I am sooooooooooooo bored at work......that I joined. I hope its cool, and doesnt give me a virus.
http://plurk.com/JadeBourdex/invite

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup!

2009-03-12T08:17:00.003-04:00

Music has always been A MAJOR part of my life!
My father had very firm beliefs and strong opinions and taste when it came to music. "REALLY talented musicians write their own lyrics!" "It's not as much about the melody as it is the words!" "Rhythm is something you are either born with or aren't" "Anyone can like a catchy tune, but only the wise respect the lyrics" He taught me at a young age about Miles and Coltrane,Nina Simone, and our favorite...The Beatles. I grew up with so many pictures of The Beatles in our house, I thought we were related. "Yep, There is my Uncle George...oh, and that is John!"
At 5 I was taken to see Tina Turner,then later on to see Paul McCartney.That was one of the greatest memories of my life! Watching that piano shoot fireworks as he sang "Live and Let Die" ...and my dad putting me on his shoulders and swaying back and forth to "Hey, Jude". I will never forget my father singing "Do You Want to Hear a Secret" as a child, and telling me the story of how that song was sung to John Lennon by his mother, before he went to stay with his Aunt.
I will also never forget being told that John Lennon watched as his mother died, and how he later died, while walking with his son, close to the Dakota, after signing an autograph for his murderer.
My first trip to NYC (last trip) was when I was 8 years old. I begged and pleaded to see Strawberry Fields (a memorial at Central Park in Honor of John Lennon-Strawberry Fields was actually the orphanage he stayed in as a child) and was on a search the whole time for particular black tee-shirt that had John Lennon wearing an "I heart NY" tee-shirt on. When I found it,I didnt let it go. My luggage and bags were stolen (or lost) but that tee-shirt made it safe, home to my father...who wore it years after holes were torn in it...and it was faded. He is sentimental like that.
He was a little upset when he gave me a vintage The Who tee-shirt and I gave it back because Who, is the WHO?". He thought he taught me better than that.
When I grew up, I listened to Nirvana with my father. He bought me Smells like Teen Spirit a few months before Curt Cobain died. For Valentines Day, a few years later, he bought me Medusa by Annie Lennox (one of the best CD's I have ever purchased 12 copies of, and still cant get Kristin to give back) and Oasis (who he called a "Beatles Rip-off"). When I was pregnant I heard Jack Johnson for the first time on the radio, and called him to tell him to buy the cd. He did so, and fell in love. He later bought me The Avett Brothers (who I guess grow on you???) and Colbie Calliat (Andrea loves her) and put them in my car one day.
The only person who understood or even helped me in my grunge stage, was my father. He understood because he wore his hair too long as a kid, way before "hippies" were his in Charlotte and would often get jumped on his way to school. For my birthday, he bought me a pair of Birkenstocks (he said he wore "Jesus Sandals too" as a teen) and we would ride in the car quietly on our way to Infinity's End ( a headshop that his nephew my cousin,ran for a long time-that no 14 year old girl had any business being in), in search of the perfect tee-shirts.
He was the only person who didnt approve of my trendy,preppier outfits from The Limited and the Express as I got older. He said I wasnt being true to myself, and when I listened to Rap, I thought his heart would break, though he said nothing at all.
You try to teach them everything you have in your heart, but regardless, they become their own people one day!
Now, I listen to it all, but the soundtrack of my life is soooooooo much more amazing because of this man.
........and I agree, wise men listen to words.
Below, at the bottom of the page, you can change tunes if you like...most arent songs that my father and I listened to ...but almost each one (even Lupe Fiasco-lol) has words that mean something to me. I said ALMOST
(Coconut Records "west Coast" will forever be Nick and my song. I played it for him after a co-worker passed the c.d along to me, and whenever we travel he pops it in. It reminds us of when we used to do the "long distance" thing)

Subliminal messages...EVERYWHERE?!?!?!

2009-03-11T13:10:00.005-04:00

Subliminal messages everywhere today! I need to pay my tax's (S.Cstate) and I will do it!!! I have Nc and Sc taxes. :( Dont ask

I went to Happily Dysfunctionals blog to leave a comment and her captcha thing that she makes me type in incase I am a spammer (I object!!! thank you very much-xoxoxo) Said

payrere

I will pay...but the RE RE thing is a little offensive. I dont like it when people make fun of mental handicaps, and ecspecially in my direction. It happens often!

I do not think God calls people names.....ecspecially RE-RE...but what if he was displaying his sense of humor right there. Ha Ha...that God guy can be really funny sometimes

God: I'll make her remember to pay her tax's...it's in the Bible!!! Watch this Michael "PAYRERE! Ha ha...she'll think thats funny!

Michael: Since when do you call people RE-RE's?

God: I dont! But technically,ReRE isnt a word, and it will get the point across. Michael,I created a thing called a "sense of humor" and a thing called a "chill pill".Why dont you get one of each?

Michael: YES,SIR!

Me: Oh,God...you are sooo witty. I will pay, but that one stung!

God:Whatever it takes to get my point across

NOTE: I am not a good "speller" and "Subliminal " is a hard word. That's what happens when you vegg out too much in high school (ha ha-see put it in there for ya!)

SO anytime I spell a word correctly...assume I hit the "spellcheck" button. Ummm-kay?!?!

Oh, and that's a pic of God....(see I dont think he looks like Charlie Chaplin anymore) that I got when I Googled "picture of God" and sinse God and Jesus are the same person(Heavenly being) I guess it is a picture of God...even though Id label it is a pic of Jesus.Just me

See, he looks like he is saying "Come here Jade, I was just kidding with you. Give me a big HUG! You know I love you and that you ARE very mentally healthy,aceept for"............(I'll leave this out)

In honor of #100..a Rerun!!!!! What I Have Learned About Being an Adult From a Child

2009-03-11T10:52:00.001-04:00

I am a 26 year old single mommy to a beautiful little girl named Andrea Jadyn. She was born April 28th , 2003.

I remember that day so well! She has a face that melts my heart! I look at her sometimes and wonder could there have been a mistake in the hospital? Could I really be a part of something so terrific? People compliment me all the time on how well mannered she is, or how mature she is, or her sweet disposition. I did not do anything to be complimented on. She has her moments and days, just like any other child, but for the most part,she was just born that way. I am a firm believer that some people are born with rotten hearts (they can be fixed of coarse) and some are born with almost angelic hearts. God blessed me with a child so sweet and kind by nature, and I cant take any of the credit. This was how she was born, not raised. Although, I'd like to think I teach her to have good morals and am giving her a good upbringing, I can honestly say that some of this comes naturally for her. She is a such a blessing and I thank God every day for this wonderful gift that has been bestowed upon me.

Growing up I never really saw myself as a mother. I can honestly say that I did not want to have children for fear of caring that deeply for someone and something happening to them. The thought is still scary, but was I really willing to not ever feel this type of love for fear of being sad? I look back at myself and I have no idea who I was. I no longer know that person and don't think that I ever did. I was so lost! The birth of my daughter (even the pregnancy) taught me so much about humbling yourself. About seeing yourself in others, about compassion. When you look at everyone as someones child, its harder to be so ugly to people. When I see someone that I know has had it really hard, or who has been picked on, I not only feel bad for them, But I also feel bad for their mother. It's strange how motherhood will do that to you. ( this is always easier with strangers, but I'm working on it) Being a good person is one of the hardest things you can reach for in this life. With all that society tells us that we should be, insecurities turn people into people they can not be proud of, but choose to be anyways. (I believe that Faith in God is the best medicine for this, even though I haven't really had a full dose) I am in no way perfect. I still dislike a person or two for something that happened way too long ago.I am still flawed in so many ways. But parenting and my faith is changing these flaws, daily, weekly, yearly-at least the ones that matter.My hair is still going to be a frizzy nightmare a year from now (unless Heather produces some concoction(MS?) that tames the fro) But I know the personality qualities that I not proud of will shed like dead skin, all because of what I learn from this darling little girl. How can I tell her to forgive others if I cant forgive (something I struggle with terribly), how can I tell her to love everyone in her class, when I cant love everyone I work with? How can I tell her to love herself for who she is when I don't do the same? Is it fair to tell her to control her temper, when she sees me lose it? Like I said, parenting for me is a humbling experience, and trust me- I feel as though I'm learning more from her than she is from me.

Like I have said too many times before, If you only knew me before the birth of my daughter, you have no idea who I am now. Her birth, brought forth the beginning of life for her, and the beginning of a new me and new life for myself.

This was a song that my mother used to sing to/with me as a child....and I sing the same version to Andrea. It brings tears to my eyes to hear it, again. I love you both!

The Question...and a pic of My earrings :-D

2009-03-11T10:07:00.007-04:00

I bought these! Cute,huh? To enter to win the giveaway, all that you have to do is......be a current follower (I want to know who is getting my DAMN earrings.I wanted these to wear with a red sundress this summer! )Any new followers, if I get any with my "foot in mouth sundrome" will be able to participate in the next ones, if I decide to do another. I dont like spending money unless I realllllly like you! I reallllllllllly like my followers. , oh-and also you have to
1.Answer this question: If you had the chance to "Pay it Forward" in any way....what would you do, and how can you see this chain evolving? Who would you want it to effect the most, and what do you think it would teach someone or some people?
The answer doesn't need to be profound.... it could be "I'd pay someones toll on the way to work in the morning",or even something funny! I love to laugh!......and in case Marcy gets to busy with all of her new orders.......I will be picking.I am fair!
2. Just link everyone on your blog to EclecticOrchid at http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5986256.
I can't believe I am doing this. I want everything she sells. I SWEAR~!
If someone even TRIES to pick up the Bud Among Snow Earrings...I'll die!
What am I saying? That was stupid. I will not give out the name of the bracelet I want until I have purchased it! HA!
One more thing. Ill pick a winner Monday. I dont think I can be left alone with your earrings for too long without wearing them,Sorry :(

#100!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-11T09:46:00.004-04:00

I asked The Brain behind EclecticOrchid to do this interview, and she said she would, but didn't know when it would get out since she had caught a bug ( not a lightening bug)and didn't feel well.

She had it to me PROMPTLY! Poor thing! I hope she feels better. Now imagine if it were your purchase....I know the same applies.

1. Tell me about yourself. Where you were born, grow up. (I know New Orleans.. but still I am going to copy and paste your answers.lol) Family, hobbies, etc. (don’t tell where you live, but I think you are smart enough for that.JB)

I am originally from a small town south of New Orleans. I know most people think nothing exists even farther south, but bayou country does, and I was born and raised there! I moved to the Rock Hill area a little over 3 years ago with my husband, daughter, and son (okay, he’s actually a dog but he doesn’t know it). I love to craft, play with my daughter, read (although I never have time), listen to music, spend time with my family, make jewelry, make jewelry… (I think you see where I am going with this)

2. What was your most recent or current profession? I have a Master’s degree in Rehabilitation Counseling. I used to manage and do case work at a group home for physically and developmentally disabled women. It was hard work, but the most profoundly rewarding job I have ever known (besides being a mother) and I am lucky to have had such an opportunity. It truly taught me patience, love, and to see the beauty and great capability that lies within everyone. I left that job to become a stay-at-home mother to my daughter shortly before she was born. It has been wonderful!

3. How did you become a jewelry designer? I have always dabbled in the arts since I was young, taking painting classes and experimenting with photography. A few years ago my mom wanted to take a jewelry class and thought my sister and I would enjoy it as well. I learned basic techniques that day. I would pick it up now and again, but for the most part had no time to enjoy it. After my daughter was born, I was going through some boxes and came across my old jewelry supplies. I originally started making jewelry again to break the monotony of being home all the time. I realized how passionate I was about it and the rest is history (or future I guess in this case-haha)!

4. Where do you draw inspiration for your designs? I draw inspiration from anything and everything. I see creative potential in everything around me: my family, nature, movies, music, art, words, colors, love, life, etc.

5. Do you remember the first item you made? The first things I made were in the little classroom in the back of the beading shop on that terrific day I learned basic jewelry technique. It was a little bracelet and earring set. I was so proud!

6. Do you remember the first item you sold? The first item I sold was my Bella Farfalla earrings, named after my daughter. I sold these to my cousin though, so I don’t know if that counts!

7. What designers inspire you? Good question. I love clothing and jewelry, but I am not familiar with many fashion designers. I like what I like!

8. What is your favorite piece from your own collection? My favorite piece in my own collection is the Do I Look Fancy necklace. I had it up for sale for a while, then realized I could never part with it. The idea was born when my daughter draped herself in my jewelry chain and then asked me if she looked fancy! Inspiration struck. It’s one of the most special things I think I have created.

9. Where would you like to see your designs in the next 5 years? I would love to be able to make Eclectic Orchid well known, and a thriving business! I hope that people will continue to be happy with and enjoy my artistic endeavors, just on a larger scale!

10. Last but not least, what is playing on your ipod (cd players) the most? Well, I don’t have an Ipod. I actually just broke down and got an MP3 player so I could be with the times. I love music though! Let’s see, I am most often listening to: The Killers (older stuff), Coldplay, Across the Universe Soundtrack, anything Annie Lennox, Weezer (my daughter’s favorite),Twilight soundtrack, and old mixed cd’s made from napster (before music piracy was deemed a crime)

#99 Goes to Marcy!!!! I am going to give something AWAY...oh,what a hypocrite I am!

2009-03-11T08:21:00.011-04:00

Yep, this is my 99th Blog. I am going to hand it over to Marcy. Instead of writing about men,friends,work,or BLOGS, I am going to write about SOMEONE whose work is so cool to me, that I want to PAY IT FORWARD.

I believe anytime you promote a business to a friend, or your hairstylist or "what not" you are in your own way ...Paying it forward.

You loved this _________, you told your friend, who in return also loved it, and told their friend. Word of mouth, is the best advertisement! And its a win,win situation. You got something cool, and someones hardwork was recognized. They got more business, and more $$$ for their family, and the chain begins. It's even cooler when it is helping out OUR struggling economy here in the U.S (snaps to Etsy for that!). I consider that "paying it Forward" dont you?

So, I looked on http://www.etsy.com/ after a friend wrote about this great site. I looked for people in my area, and low and behold, like the 10th designers store that I saw was Marcy's at Eclectic Orchid. The name drew me in (I like eclectic....and orchids are so pretty) .....isn't it mysterious. The collection that she handmakes, grabbed me, and held me there. It was like WONDERLAND for me.This woman has read my mind, before knowing that I was me, or had a mind....you get me? And for some reason,I bet she has done the same to you. I loved the book Twilight. I mean LOVED it. I wanted Nick to be a vampire sooo bad, and have Stephanie Myers to blame for the discontent I felt towards him for a few months after reading about MY perfect vampire "Edward". Turns out Marcy read this book too, and has been able to capture the emotion and feelings that would only register to a Twilighter, in jewelry.

Marcy is also from New Orleans (where I have dreamed of since childhood and would love to move to if it were above sea level). I think that gives her a few more cool points. I dont care where you are from. If you are from Paris, maybe you can make a pretty..........Poodle and Baguette??? New York, HIGH Fashion...but New Orleans...ah,something different there. It's a feeling, a magic, an essence. Marcy knows what I am talking about. She has to. Why? Because it looks as though she captured it in a jar and sprinkeled it all over every piece of jewelry she makes.Look for yourself!

I bought a pair of earrings from her ( New Orleans Lady- Earrings)and when they arrived, I "swear on all of the products in my bathroom" that they were MORE than I had imagined. Delicate, exquisitely detailed, and light as a feather! Intricately designed, and crafted. Wrapped in a small gold box,with a ribbon and a rosebud! Beautiful!

I wore them yesterday,and everyone (ok, everyone at the salon. I work with mostly MEN...and dont go out much. Hush it!) asked me about them. I almost fell asleep with them on last night (because they are so light) and when I took them off (half asleep in my bed) I looked at them with the light on,one more time...and placed them ,SAFELY,in my jewelry box on my dresser. As if they were adorned with precious stones . That says a lot, because usually everything gets thrown in a dish my "Amy" gave me on my nightstand.(and then I have to untangle things the next day...if I get around to it)

TO ONE LUCKY READER (sounds like Marie Claire Mag,huh?):

I am going to buy one of you a pair of these lovely earrings. I want them badly,so that is a sacrifice on my behalf!.........I am going to assign a quiz...and The EclecticOrchid will pick the best answer.

I really wanted to send you My earrings...but I think I may have bought the last pair!

THE ONLY OTHER thing I ask......

Blog about why you want these earrings, and give the link to HER site on Etsy.http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5986256

You don't have to say anything about me at ALL. I'd rather you not. I will get rewarded later (maybe Nick will take the trash out for ONCE, or Andrea will not whine on the way to school. Who knows) That's how the universe works (in my case God). You do something HEARTFELT, without EXPECTING reward...and you get rewarded. Geez...there goes my reward! I expected Nick to take out the trash! Still selfish in my quest of being UNSELFISH!

Marcy was so nice about my whole purchase. I am a DUMB DUMMY, and couldn't use paypal correctly. She helped me eagerly,every step of the way. She was so kind, and had them shipped out VERY fast (she was reluctant to meet with EVEN though -she lives in the same town, because I could be a smelly man. I COULD! ya know :).....but smelly-NO WAY.!!!! I object! This man knows way too much about Laura Mercier Bath Honey to be smelly! I totally understand and would be the same way. Kudos for safety!!!! She was so cute about it too!)

I loved her collection so much that she is making Andrea something for her birthday. I told her all about Andrea's love for Sonny &Cher,etc, and I am confident that she will make my child something she will cherish! I know this from her work! Not because I know her. I know she could do this for you!

Now, get your curly fry lovin'ARSE over to Her SHOP!

Get,Scram...........Shhhhhew! What could you possibly be waiting for? I declare!

An email I sent to a friend-Just to clarify!

2009-03-11T08:03:00.002-04:00

"Of coarse I do not feel that way about you!!!! Look to my right hand corner, about blogs I read regularly. I often do not comment, for loss of words after I read everyone else's comments, but I do read.
You are one of the most thoughtful bloggers out there,.......... with all of your followers, I bet you make time for almost everyone :)
I would have giveaways if I could,really.......(it looks fun) but to only gain followers , absolutely NOT... I want the people who read my blog, to read because they feel like I am someone they would call a friend, or they understand, or relate to, or want to pray for (ha ha) , not because I have something to give away.
I have thought about giving things away, but more with a contest or trivia thing, not with "write about me in your blog". I understand companies have to promote, but people who dont have companies??? It makes no sense to me.
Like I said, I dont feel this way about you. If I did, I would not only not read your blog, I wouldnt follow it, and wouldnt follow it so publicly on MY blog.
I am sure you are honest. I have no question about that at all! I am going to write a follow up or change that because I have had a few ppl ask me "is it me". If you are someone I talk to enough to be comfortable asking, IT IS DEF. not you!"
Ciao,
xoxo
Jade

Note:
If I weren't so honest, I would change or delete what I wrote,yesterday. I was waiting for an email from the woman who made my FAB earrings, (so that I could blog about it) and browsing blogs. I read so many about this one product giveaway, that were shallow and pointless that I was baffled.
My daughter wants to be friends with the mean girls wherever she goes. I dont know what lead to this masochistic behavior, but I can't fathom it! The girl can be rude,gross and act ugly to my daughter, and for some reason that draws her in. I asked my therapist about it (yes, I have one!You prob.should too, so BITE ME) and she said that is normal ADOLESCENT behavior. Keyword for the day:ADOLESCENT
I thought the "BlogWORLD' was so fascinating because people were free to be themselves,WHOEVER that is...and I guess people are free to be shallow too.
This person isnt rude to me, but I know of a few ppl she was rude to, and "holier than" and it pushes my buttons.
"Big Egos are Big Shields for lots of empty space". That is all I am going to say about that.

I know,I know.............

2009-03-10T13:12:00.005-04:00

Does anyone know anyone or have any "FRIENDS" who have Paranoid schizophrenia, or Bi-Polar (the reaaal deal)? Are these people able to have healthy lives, or are the destined to never have friends or normal relationships? I am not talking about your moody neighbor. I am talking about CLINICAL... IT really isnt for me. Geez, Id tell ya..I cant keep my own secrets,ya know!
Here are the definitions:

Paranoid schizophrenia
It means:
a form of schizophrenia characterized by delusions (of persecution or grandeur or jealousy); symptoms may include anger and anxiety and aloofness and doubts about gender identity; unlike other types of schizophrenia the patients are usually presentable and (if delusions are not acted on) may function in an apparently normal manner

Bipolar disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated mood clinically referred to as mania or, if milder, hypomania. Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes or symptoms, or mixed episodes in which features of both mania and depression are present at the same time.

I have a friend who has BOTH (wow, its like once you get one chemical imbalance, its easier to catch another????? I have ADD and a lil anxiety, but can you imagine?)

This girl has everyone she has ever known dislike her, and has no idea why. She is on medication, but I honestly think she can not control some of the weird things she does (S.W.F behavior) and I would feel really bad for not being her friend because everyone else talks about her. IT's sad.

But what if she does something strange to me?

I dont know. If anyone knows anyone like this or has any advice to give, that'd be great!

I am sooooooooooo Not A Sellout!!! Prequal to my next blog. :)

2009-03-10T09:32:00.004-04:00

Not saying that some people are, but just saying that I am not one. Okay,I am saying I think someone is. When I first started blogging, I wanted to do product reviews, but I dont have the energy or patience for the giveaways, ("DAMNIT, where do you find the damn candle set, and I'll buy the effin' thing myself. SHIT!")and I am not going to tell ppl I like something that blows. That's not how I get down.(ha ha) I saw this one chick, whose name I wont mention...who is about my age, accept I am a lot cuter. She has tacky stuff all over her blog, saying "this is GREAT!" womp womp. NO, "lady", the chia pet SUCKS, and I dont like the bag that has all the hundreds of compartments, and I KNOW you dont really like the topsy turvey, so "lock it up!!! I bet you dont even eat tomato's, I'll stop.
I didnt realize what makes this woman so successful isnt her personality,talent or looks, but is her COMMITMENT to blogging, and ASS KISSING to get the product reviews in the first place. Now, she is a complete, blog snob,and its a shame. You wouldnt last a DAY outside of cyber world!
I dont have that type of commitment for anything accept my daughter. Sorry!

You know why she has soo many followers ???(not me,proud to say) All the lil A.K.I.T's-"ass kissers in training" flock to her page to see what shit she doesnt want , so they can get it.(like vulchers). I tried that once or twice when I didnt know better. Not my cup of tea.
I was asked to review something ONCE, and I was told pretty much what to say. Thanks but "no,thanks" keep your product! I think reviewers are great, and I think giveaways are great too, just be an honest,HUMBLE, honest,honest,honest, person when you are doing them. Did I say, be HONEST?
SO I will buy my OWN products and review them (not as though Aveeno gives a rat's arse) and when I find something on Etsy that I like, I'll contact the seller, and buy it. Then I'll tell you if it is good. If I dont review it on here, I didnt totally sabotage their work, but I also didnt tell my cool friends here about it. Sounds Fair,right!?!?
I am pleased to say that I ordered something from Etsy that I have been eyeing for a lil while, and received it in the mail yesterday. I fell in LOVE........and I am going to review these.......the RIGHT way!(meaning truthfully,and from the heart) (If she wants to give me stuff that's cool too,lol- I wont say "no" but that wont sway me to tell my loyal readers to buy something that stinks, so by me saying ...HER STUFF ROCKS, please believe it is True!!!!). My next post is ALL dedicated to this LOVELY lady and her GREAT designs. Please read it!!!!!!!!!!

Splurge or Steal? Is that really a question?

2009-03-10T08:02:00.003-04:00

Ok, I love to splurge. I love it sooo much! When it is other people's money, it feels GREAT! But when it is mine, I have a limit.

I can sometimes deal with paying $40 for bath bubbles. Not really, but when they say that they are going to "firm,tighten and tone" and smell good enough to eat, I cant help it. That is why I purchased Laura Mercier' s Chocolate Truffle Bath Honey.(I hear agreat things about the Creme Brulee Body Cream though). She has a great rep-I trusted her not to produce a N.G product.

We'll as Hannah Montana would say,"Everyone Makes Mistakes,Everyone has bad days". Laura made a mistake, and me buying it seemed to be the forecast for my bad day. You never know till you try. I forgive you,Laura.

Last night, when I got home...I tried a product that has been in my shower for a few days, untouched. I bought it, and was turned off after I saw "mineral oil" in the ingredients.Mineral oil supposably makes it harder to get a good color, plus I like to be a lil shinier when tan.

After shaving my legs, with THE BEST razor EVER....The Venus Embrace (Marie Claire MUST HAVE of the Season, and I see WHY!) I decided,"What the Hey? Mineral Oil never killed anyone(I dont think),I'll give it a try". IT doesnt compare to Neautrogena Rainbath in the concentration of an oily texture (Rain bath uses Sesame Oil,one reason I LOVE IT) but does have a good texture if you are afraid of being greasy! And if you want to be moisturized, but not greasy,this Aveeno stuff is GOLDEN! I mean it! It smells so Good that I cannot explain it. Almost like cocoa, and coconut and almond-YUMMY!

When my skin feels more than parched...I will be buying more of this! (I didn't post a picture because they have made a much more chic design for the bottle)

This is going to be one of those timeless products for me, just like RainBath (I also love Neutrogena's Rainbath Gentle Exfoliating Creamy Oil Wash and Sugar Scrub, ecspecially when I am,....ahem,ahem.........tanning !!!!! YAY! Sorry-something was stuck in my throat.

So, Aveeno's Bath and Shower Oil is great, along with Nivea Original Body Cream( that also has mineral oil, but HEY,Marilyn Monroe wore it!) for winter months, and for those months-LIKE right now, leading into Summer, where our skin needs a little extra TLC!

But when tanning, I love The RainBath products, and Laura Mercier can keep her $40 jar of honey, because that is all it is good for. To sit in my bathroom and look pretty.What a waste.

Weekend from Heaven or Hell?!?!?

2009-03-09T08:28:00.003-04:00

This weekend wasn't so bad. Really it wasn't!
Friday after work, instead of going to the gym (I know,I know) Nick and I went to a dive restaurant and did a lil shopping. I bought some Laura Mercier Chocolate Truffle Honey Bath. It foamed all right, and it smelled EXCEPTIONAL in the pot, and the lil honey scooper,swirler thing was cute....but it wasn't worth $40.00. (The smell didn't last long, and I didn't look much firmer or "lifted". Save your money ladies and buy Mr.Bubbles!)
Then we went to afew lil shops downtown, and I bought a towel that says "Sexy Women Have Messy Kitchens!"...Real Classy, I know!
Then we picked up Andrea, and my phone started making strange noises. Then it wouldn't work, and told me to call customer care.That's when they told me that I was over my spending limit by $2, and when I paid it, it would work. I paid it, it still didn't work for another hour! Then as I was attempting to pull out of a shopping mall parking lot with Andrea,I realized I could not go into reverse. I could go into drive, and neutral....just not reverse...OR PARK! Oh, my! So after Andrea screamed and cried because she was scared bc I kept slamming on the gear shift, (and I told a man off, quietly for beeping because he conveniently wanted my space) I went into a few stores, located the lady with the convertible in front of me (I located her over the loud speaker of coarse) and told her of my situation, and she moved her car and I drove home. My car has been in Neutral with the emergency brake up since Friday! :( Friday was a bad night. I went home,took a bath (w/ that chocolate shit) and drank a lot of this really strong cough syrup (after Andrea went to bed) and went to sleep.ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
The next morning, a friend of mine took me car shopping while Nick babysat. That was a nightmare. IT was HOT! I want a new car, but then again,I don't want the payments!!!
Then Andrea,Nick and I went to the park, had a picnic, petted EVERY dog that walked by, and then attempted to play Frisbee (Andrea and I need to work on our skills) .At last we walked to get icecream. That was nice. We all watched movies and went to bed.
Yesterday I narrowed my car choice down to 3, then took my Concerta too late, so I spring CLEANED everything until almost midnight, and attempted to sleep.
Wonderful.
My car lost its long lived battle with......oldness,I wasted $40, and had phone problems, and didn't get too much sleep, but I did get to spend valuable time with my loved ones, and a new car may be what I need. Perception is everything. My weekend wasn't that bad!

This is my 93rd post!

2009-03-06T09:18:00.003-05:00

At the rate I am going (4 posts a day on some days) it's not hard to believe, or much to celebrate. But I am sooo happy that I have followers! Really.
I have told you about my credit, my family, my prayers, my job, my fashion sense or "no-sense", no arse at all syndrome,loving and sometimes too clever "Diva in Training" and my boyfriends potty mouth and product addiction.........and you still love me.
I may only have 30 of you, but at least I have YOU!...and 30 is a good #! I feel like my 30 are people who I would really like outside of blogging, and that is UBER COOL!
So, as I approach my 100th soon -I will not make a big deal of it, but I will thank yall in advance.
Good to know I am not the ONLY CURLY FRY IN THE BOX of regular after all! I have 30 others that I found in the bottom of my fast food bag! I didnt have to make friends with the"ketchup and salt" after all!
xoxoxo
JADE

Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.
Bridget: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and... ah, the verbal diarrhea.
Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.

I LIKE Y'ALL TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The cure for everything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea" Isak Dinesen

2009-03-06T08:57:00.009-05:00

More of why I am going "BoHo" this year. (Look-he got me into wearing flip flops at least, now I LOOOVE them)

Nick moved down from New Bern (close to Wilmington) and all day,every other weekend, we sit at the beach. ....I am lying. I SIT, he tries to drag me by my arms, as I scoot sand across my butt and in every crack and crevice of my body. (He is a forceful booger! He means no harm ) to get in the nasty SALT WATER. He says Salt Water is the cure FOR EVERYTHING, kinda like the Greek Dad on "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" was with Windex. Gotta zit? Salt water? Tennis Elbow? Salt water! Ugh-drives me CRAZY!
So usually, while I lay on the beach and read Cosmo, drinking mojitos,with oversized shades on and heels (with mint stuck between my teeth, bc I chopped it,instead of mashing) he and Andrea frolic along the beach. My 220 pound boyfriend, frolics along the beach. My metro-sexual,dry-witted, "know-it-all", comes to life when sand and salt water are present. After years of getting my hair messed up (my flat ironed hair turns to the texture of a cocker spaniels REAR END when touched by water or humidity)-my strappy beach sandals (heels) ruined, magazines thrown in the ocean, and 1 pair of Kate Spade,2 pairs of Chanels, and 1 pair of Dior Sunglasses later.-I have decided to throw out the Jackie-OHHHH look this year, wear my hair curly, forget the makeup, grab a pair of cheap shades (not losing my Gucci's) and frolic around with my lovies...."wobbly bits, wobbling, and butt cracks exposed (Nick can never keep his trunks over the tip of his crack when running in circles on the beach, very appealing to the hot girls he eyeballs as they sunbath-lol)and throw caution to the wind. Andrea loves me anyways, and so Does Nick.
That's why I have given sooo much though to this Boho look.....that I am supposed to act like took no thought at all. Ahhh.

This is more ME!

2009-03-06T07:57:00.006-05:00

I LOVE RUN ON SENTENCES- in case you didnt KNOW-you will see!

This is more ME! I love it!

But I decided to go BO-Ho this year (less maintenance, more FUN-ha ha)Maybe I'll get this one too, for the Pool (where I CAN pretend to be Marilyn Monroe, as no one notices me!)

(I guess I need to get serious about the gym, and lay off my 5 brownie a day habit, either way. If I were brave, I'd show the pictures I took w my camera phone of my stupid gut (trying to motivate myself by looking at them periodically while working out). This is SOOO me though! Really.)

The only problem is, you need a flat iron, huge Gucci shades (I got some, told Nick they were fake-shhhhhh.Now he makes fun of my FUCCI's- SUCKER!!!) and sweatproof makeup on to execute this look correctly....and boy,do I not feel like it this year.

For My SHOPAHOLIC friend! Admitting you have a problem is the first step! :-)

2009-03-06T07:48:00.004-05:00

I bought this bathingsuit (you can get it from Victorias Secret,even though it is Lucky) and I loved it on someone else(this picture does it NO justice,really!.....but I realllllllllllllllllllly need breast implants to wear it! Talk about looking FLAT chested-WOW!

I love it off, and I guess I will have it altered (and have pads implanted in the suit-do they do that?). It's not really my style for swimsuits, but I thought Id try something different this year. A little more comfortable, and less stringy. UGH-I will be buying another, I'm sure.

This goes with the Boho look I am putting a TON of effort into making look effortless.

FACESPACE

2009-03-05T10:10:00.002-05:00

Go check out my plain old "POORMANS FACEBOOK PAGE" !
I just like to add music, thats why I have it.
oh, I have like 10 friends-sad, but I dont like that site.
But if you want to add me on Facebook, do so here :)
It's hard to keep up with all of this "facespace" crap. Plus, Nick is always like...."how many dudes did you talk to on facebook,today?" Thats why I dont add anyone hot,even if I went to kindergarten with you, if I can help it.
Wonder why he never asks that about my blogspot? ha ha

Go check this out!

2009-03-04T14:22:00.001-05:00

I wrote a short lil blog posting over at Jackie-ohhhhs that you have like 2 minutes to read. Not serious, but about a designer that I look forward to writing. Check it out :)

A Conversation with Dad -God ...Part 2

2009-03-04T11:12:00.002-05:00

This is as honest as you can get. Telling what you talk about in your prayers.
I'll add a bonus in there and tell you that, as much as this might upset some, and make me look like an idiot to many Catholics, I dont pray in a tradiotional way. No "hail Mary's" or "Father who.......in Heaven, Lord I come to you"... nope-none of that. I usually do say,In Your name I pray, when I do "pray"...but usually Jesus and I just chat. Accept he doesnt talk as much as I do.

While Riding in the car (this is the way it plays in my head)

Me:Dear Heavenly Father, I really need to talk to you today. Ok, so I want you to know how happy I am with the fact that you let me keep my job, even though I am slack. Thanks,Dad.
And thanks also, for not letting Donna get on my nerves as much this we------------"WHAT WAS THAT?!?! DID YOU SEE THAT?!?! Please Lord Jesus, teach that dumb lady to drive, PLEASE!" Oh, that wasnt nice,was it-to call her dumb?...I'm sorry. That was just a dumb move on her part.
God: You actually pulled out in front of her
Me: Okay, you're right.Can we talk about that later? I'm sorry. Now I feel like you are telling me to wave and apologize to her through the window. Are you telling me that?
God:
Me: Guess not, anways............Thanks for not letting Donna drive me crazy! I don't think I could handle that right now.OOOOh, look-remember I wanted that house over there?
God: nodds head and smiles
Me: I am so glad you didnt let me have it. Wow, what a mess that would have been... I would have neer met Nick, and Andrea and I would have never moved to Rock Hill. Thanks for that
God:
Me: Anyways, I feel bad because I have zero sex drive lately. I know, I know, I shouldnt have one anyways before marriage, and I also shouldnt be living with my boyfriend, but c'mon-its hard these days
God: excuses,excuses
Me: but I think it is hurting Nicks feelings...please dont tell me that wouldnt happen if I would have settled down with a choir boy,PLEASE!
God:
Me: Well, what should I do?
God: You are not going to take my advice, so what do you think you should do?
Me: ugh, dont know. Its not him at all, it is just that I dont have the energy.Anyways, will you help me remember to save more money this week?
God: Will do!
Me: oh, and please look after that homeless man, I dont know if he needs money for drugs or food, but I guess you do, and whatever it is, will you help him?
God:Silence
Me: oh, and that lady who cant drive?
.....................................phone rings,I answer

Conversation with God-My Dad..Part 1

2009-03-04T08:32:00.003-05:00

I don't picture God like God at all. When I was a child, I thought he looked like Charlie Chaplin. I don't know why, but I did. My family was agnostic, but my grandmother was southern baptist. She didn't speak of God often, but went to church regularly...for a while, at least.

Then my sweet Great-Aunt Mary Sue (who just died Saturday..R.I.P) would take me to church with her, probably so that I could get out of my grandmothers hair.

I made the decision there, in Sunday School that God looked like Charlie Chaplin.

It wasn't until a few years ago, that I started to picture God as "My Dad", and when I did, I pictured him looking like a professor. Looks aren't important, but for me to get into talking with someone, I can't help but to put a face with a voice, with the conversation.

I call God, my "Dad" when I talk to him, because he is just that.He is all of our Dad's! He is our heavenly father. So he is my "dad". The difference between him and any other father is that he is omniscient and omnipresent-which no other father can be. Although, if you have had your father in your life as a child, I am sure you thought he was both when you were a child, not til adult-hood (or teenage years we you started sneaking out) did you realize that he was not either.

I picture God,sitting at a desk, with a big book in front of him, and pictures of whoever he is talking to at the time, and their loved ones in frames on the desk. He has white hair, a plaid shirt and a sweater vest. He looks as though he might smoke a pipe, the ones that smell like cherry. He waits patiently for our calls to come, and when they do, he is ecstatic to hear from us. He does not jump up and down, because he always has the best attitude and demeanor. His voice is soothing, and he is a good listener. He often gives you answers that sound like cliche's that you have to think about to get, for he is a scholar,a therapist,a doctor,and most of all, a father.

He knows what is right for you, and exactly what you are going to do. He is patient in the fact that he doesnt yell, or hang up on you when you cry about the same thing over and over again, making the same mistakes. He is respectable, but when you have acted "not so much" he doesnt call you out on it. He loves you just the same. He warns you of troubles, but believes in tough love, and lets you see for yourself. You have to learn your own lessons. It breaks his heart when we go through things, but he knows that this is the only way we will learn, and is wise and disciplined enough to let us go through whatever hard times we endure. WHATEVER they are, he knows we will learn and be better people because of them. Most of our decisions, he gives us advice on, but if we dont take it, he doesnt scold us, he just lets us see what the consequences are for ourselves.

He bails you out often, but we are soooooo involved in ourselves, that we often don't see. Yet he patiently,waits for our call, and gets exited when we take the time out of our day to talk to him.

I believe that when we dont call, he still takes care of business, because he is that giving, but he is saddened, and he rewards those who call on him often, and take his advice, out of selflessness and trust. He rewards those who are obedient, but he rewards us all everyday,anyways. But to those who are grateful, he is so pleased, that he pours out his blessings a little more freely. After all , it is only fair!

I picture God as a man, some picture him as a woman. I picture him in the flesh,although I know he is not. I dont think he minds. I think he is actually rather pleased that I picture him looking as though I always wished my father looked as a child. I love my Earthly Father, and everything about him now, but growing up, I wanted him to be sitting in a Study with bookcases for walls and a mahogany desk. Instead he wore John Lennon tee's and jeans, and I love that now. IT wasnt so much about the "look" but about the personality behind the look. Caring,patient, and wise. Clever and understanding, and always ready to "take care of business"...and my Heavenly Dad, is all of that and so much more.

I talk to him like a friend, a father and a pastor,and he understands and never places judgment, but tries to help me rationalize and gives me his word as advice. He keeps his promises, is always on time, and I can talk freely with him about some things I cant with my Earthly Father, or anyone else who roams this earth. He knows me better than anyone,and I cant get anything past him, so I dont even try.

Even if you feel as though you dont have a "Dad", I promise that you do!

Okay, another great idea from someone else

2009-03-03T15:47:00.002-05:00

I can't claim this, I have to give credit to a girl I work with (and fellow blogger). Ususally when she tells me that something is affordable, I don't believe her. She is "too cool" for The Limited and Victoria's Secret (ha ha- jk) and buys overpriced swimsuits (I still order mine from Victoria's Secret and occasionally Target). I think I am fashionable, she however-does not!
I have learned in this world that there are pretty people, and people who are prettier, smart people, and people who are smarter,rich people and people who are richer. I thought I knew a thing or two about fashion, but she knows more.......and the chain begins. So, I am not hatin'! It's ok...I know more than someone...........maybe it is a granny, but it is someone.
Anywho....she told me about a great REALLY affordable (like Old Navy,Target,Gap affordable)website for independent designers. IT IS COOL!!! Check it out HERE! I am a new Fan , so I can make this site ultimatly UNCOOL too ;)
Also, Victoria's Secret Pink (not a huge fan of this line-too college-ey for me) came out with a new line of bath & body treasures!!! I looove the Comfort.
100% organic and recycled, and smells GREAT!
Too bad I am broke :(

Why do Diamonds have to be a "girls best friend"?

2009-03-03T08:21:00.003-05:00

They are expensive, cold, and complex. They are pretty, but I find them rather plain, but most of all....a little "generic". What made the diamond a symbol for love and "foreverness" anyways? And why is it sooo important in an engagement to get a diamond? I have asked myself this question for years.

I, myself love Emeralds. I suppose it is because they are GREEN, my favorite color. There is something majestic about an emerald. Mysterious and alluring. A sapphire is sophisticated and bold. A diamond...well is just supposed to be BIG......and CLEAR!

I just dont get it.

When Nick and I were searching for an engagement ring a while back (something we put on hold some time ago) he was not surprised in the least that I did not want a diamond. He had no idea how hard it would be to get an emerald engagement ring though. As he was on his search, he was told that "emeralds are too soft for everyday wear" and that a diamond is the hardest stone. So, how convenient that the most durable stone, is also the hardest to find, and the "plainest" of them all?

I have never been crazy about jewelry. Clothes....yes, perfume...absolutely, but jewelry has never been my thing. I guess that is why when I watched the movie Blood Diamond, I was sooo outraged. Most of my friends wear them, and the bigger the better. I will tell you that I would rather have a big one than a small one, myself.......but I would really rather not have one at all.

Not all diamonds are mined in Africas war zones. Not all diamonds are sold to buy fire arms and violate peace treaties.One in two diamonds comes from southern Africa (Namibia, Botswana and South Africa), where democratic governments use funds from diamond production to support growth and prosperity for its people....but how do you know which is which?

De Beers, came up with the fraze "A Diamond is Forever" in 1947 and that is around the time that the engagement ring started to be recognized as a Diamond Solitaire. Before that, engagement rings were of all stones of every color and group. From semi-precious to most commonly precious stones such as diamonds,emeralds,rubies, sapphires, etc. Tiffany's even had a very famous "Tiffany Diamond Engagement Ring" that we still see today! (notice that "diamond" had to be specified, because it was not AS common).

JFK proposed to Jacqueline with an Emerald engagement ring with diamonds surrounding it, (picture above) and Princess Diana made her engagement ring famous, with a huge sapphire in the center.

While I do like diamonds, I dont think that I am a diamond girl at all, and a few small ones here and there make me feel less guilty because maybe a small child didnt lose his arm over it.

NOTE:

De Beers hasn't done business in Sierra Leone or Liberia since the mid-1980s. It has adhered to diamond sanctions the United Nations imposed on Angola since they were announced in June 1998 and has worked with Robert Fowler, who heads the U.N. sanctions committee, in overseeing the ban. It also recently decided to cut off all purchases of diamonds from Angola when it became apparent that even government-sold diamonds might be tainted. De Beers is considering suspending buying operations in West and Central Africa due to ongoing concerns about the uses of diamonds in those regions.

Although many diamonds are mined in war zones and many people are treated as slaves in Africa in the diamond trade (something that I feel is very hypocritical for racist rappers who wear "bling"- unless they are taking the time to find a "non-conflict" diamond.) There are still some that arent, but you have to do your research...the person at the counter at your jewelry store may not be the best source of info.

...And I most certainly AM making meatloaf tonight!

2009-03-02T16:45:00.002-05:00

This will be my first time making it with ground turkey-ewwwwwwwwwww!~
Wish me luck,right????
I am making cajun meatloaf. I love ANY kind of meatloaf (as long as it is with quality meat) but cajun-yum yum!
But turkey???? We'll see. Maybe Ill mix some ground beef in there :D
Nick and Andrea hate meatloaf...but theyll eat if they are hungry. I told them it is the same as hamburger, they wont even try it!!!!
I'll let you know tomorow!
Pray it turns out good!

OMG!!!!! How could I forget!

2009-03-02T16:21:00.001-05:00

...to tell, once again, about how grateful I am to my employers! You have noooo idea!!!!! These people keep me afloat, and have taught me a little about responsibility, a lot about paying it forward, and more than I could have ever imagined about loyalty. I love them!

An Attitude of Gratitude! YOU KNOW I NEVER " HALF-ARSE" DO ANYTHING.GET READY TO READ!!!!

2009-03-02T12:54:00.007-05:00

I have been given the Turning Lemons into Lemonade award by my friend @ A Form of Therapy . (This isn't really an "award" if you ask me, because it is asking me to do something, and I have never heard of an "award" that assigns you work...... ha ha,but I am still grateful :) xoxo)

I have been asked to write about a few people that I am grateful for, so here goes!

1.My Father! Not my biological father,here on earth...but my Heavenly Father. He has loved me,completely,100% all faults,sins,and horrible,wicked ways ,included. No human being can love another the way that he can love me. I have been angry with him before, but he forgave me. I have turned my back on him, and he has never done the same.I wrote down on index cards all of my "wants" for my future when I had just had my daughter. Selfish and unselfish wants. I found those cards not too long ago, and the most UNREAL to me at the time, my biggest struggles, and biggest hopes and wishes had all been met. I did not ask for a BIG mansion, I asked for independence and a humble home that I could be proud of. I did not ask for a Maserati, I asked for a dependable car. I asked for Andrea to be healthy. I asked for independence, and the ability to take care of Andrea without any help,financially. I asked for my parents sobriety.I asked for the little things that people take for granted, that I did not have. Nothing happened overnight, but it all happened, because I trusted him. He has been there emotionally through my darkest hours, and is only one prayer away. Sometimes not even that much! I am grateful!

2. My daughter! She has taught me soooo much about life and love in her few short years of existence than I could imagine. God knew the remedy for my selfishness and stubborn immature ways . He had a recovery all mapped out, and it all began with her. She is my best "earthly" friend, and words can't express what her loving me, and even more, me loving her has accomplished in my lifetime.

3.My parents. They did the best they could raising me. They made mistakes along the way, but no one is perfect. They cared for me unconditionally, and stood beside of my through my darkest times. I thank them for my childhood, and my upbringing. It may not have always been the best way to grow up, but it made me who I am inside, and made me strive for what I want to accomplish. They made me not rely on earthly possessions alone,and made me yearn for love and kindness. They instilled a sense of appreciation and compassion for all mankind, no matter what they struggle with, and helped me to understand humility. Even at their hardest times, which were also mine, they forced me to be independent and strong, all by accident (because if my mother was clean at the time, she would have carried me for the rest of her life), but I am still thankful for it. My father taught me to appreciate people who are different and gave me a love for music and writing. My mother taught me to put others first, but to also never neglect yourself. I love them both. I don't say it enough....I call my mom and apologize anytime I think of something terrible I put her through. Often times she has forgotten. I call her to tell her I appreciate her whenever I am stuck with all the chores and Nick and Andrea are being unpleasant, because she has been there. I text my father, just to say "I love you" or "I heard a song/watched a movie you'd like" you would have to know my dad to know what and why that means something. Yesterday I received a text from him that made me cry. It said " If you tell anyone about this, I'll deny it-I have a rep to uphold! I just want you to know that I love you and am so proud of the way you take care of Andrea and YOURSELF". I just love them!

4. My "sisters, brothers,fathers and mothers.... from other mothers"! I am grateful for my group of "ya-ya's".Heather,Tara,Ashley. First thought,My cousin Heather, for being her...unselfish,reliable,understanding,and unique! I once asked her why she was so blessed, in a feeling sorry for myself kinda way. She had a cute lil house, a wonderful husband and a great relationship with her family and friends and a stable,secure, fun job-sh loved. She told me..."I am blessed because I am grateful for every little thing God has given me.When I had to save up money for that Saturn for my first car, I was grateful that I had the job and found a car that I could afford and like.Same goes for Jason, when I met him, I was grateful for him, and have never complained about any of the things he did that annoyed me. I dealt with it, silently because I was so happy to have him, and when I was single..I was grateful for my friends and loving, dysfunctional family". I know her enough to know this is true. My friend Kristin, for just being her and being present throughout my life. For feelings what I feel, for standing behind my crazy decisions, for getting in and out of trouble with me, and listening and loving the same music! My friend Vicki for being my "soul mom" and my friend Jim, for playing the role of the "fix it dad" because my dad isn't always good at handling those things.

5.My Nick for being solid and reliable. For pushing me........constantly. Sometimes it's my buttons, sometimes it's over the edge, but usually it is to be a better "me". I love him for it!

6. My other CURLY FRIES!!!!YOU- readers!!!! I vent to you, you read and empathize and GOD BLESS YOU for it! Thanks for accepting ME, crazy me, for all I am, and thanks for coming back for more. It makes me feel like maybe I am not the only CURLY FRY IN THE BOX anymore.

Now it's your turn. To play along:

1) Put the logo on your blog or post.

2) Nominate at least 10 blogs that show great attitude or gratitude.

3) Link to your nominees within your post.

4) Let the nominees know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.

5) Share the love and link to the person from who you received your award.Passing along the award love onto....

These should be entertaining, so if you don't know someone on this list, please check them out...and if you already got this award, you dont have to do it again...Quit bitching about it..I obviously heart you!

Damnit!!! That was a lot of work.........I appreciate all of the hard work you had to endure to give this to me, but the next award that I get, could I not have to do so much copy and pasting??? Thanks for thinking of lil ol' me, though. Smoooooches!!!

ManIIIIIAAAAAAAAC Monday!!! (I know it is supposed to be Manic, ya know-it-all)

2009-03-02T12:39:00.007-05:00

Okay, so I don't blog on weekends. I should start, but I don't. I am a busy bee on the weekends. Besides cleaning the house, being forced to snuggle (Nick holds me down when t.v is on because I can't sit still to watch on weekends) going to the gym, and taking care of Andrea and doing fun things with her on my weekends, or taking her to her dads and then going out to paint the town red on her weekends away..........I dont have time, or privacy. These people I love that live with me, are like magnets. Where ever I go, they stick to me!
So anywho, this past weekend Andrea went to her fathers and I drug Nick (not drugged him, DRUG aa in forced him, kicking and screaming) to go out with my best friends and their men. We all take turns goin to each others neck of the woods. Tara lives in Charlotte, on the "upper" side of town. Heather lives close to her in Indian Trail. Ashley (who was not present) lives at the lake.
I tried to think of a classy lil spot to show them in my area. But then I thought to myself "hell, we have been to enough classy spots in Charlotte together, all of our lives. If I am going to do this, I am going to do this right" (Rock Hill is known as a redneck town, although it is growing and getting much nicer by the year.WE got a s starbucks and Chico's right across the street from me. Oh, yeah)
I also didnt want to straighten my hair or wear heels.
So , I took them to eat at Rock Hills most popular resteraunt. The White Horse. A Winthrop University favorite, with food to DIE for. They loved it!
Then I took them to Rock Hills Country/Western Bar (ha ha ha ha) The Long Branch......and believe it or not. Tara and her Attorney boyfriend,Jason and Heather, and even my Nick-HAD THE BEST TIME!
I have in all of the years knowing him.....never seen Nick on the dance floor. He was a little aggresive, but it was okay. After drinking and dancing the night away, with all of the rednecks (some who danced and dressed so disgusting,Jerry Springer would be appauled) we went to.....................................................................................................................THE WAFFLE HOUSE!!!!!! You cant make me go there , usually-but Nick needed to sober up, quite a bit, so I aggreed, and that was the best waffle I have ever had!
I am picky about my eggs and meat, so a waffle is safe.The waitress looked at me like I was an idiot when I asked for sugar-free syrup. I contemplated telling her I was diabetic, but then was like "screw it!". That's just how I am.
I'll post pics soon :)

I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow-S.O'hara

2009-02-26T15:41:00.004-05:00

I think I came to a startling realization.

The only thing holding me back from being a "Joy" (I refuse to use that "other" word when referring to myself) is a lil computer and fashion knowledge, lack of creativity and time for the hair, distaste in acrylic nails and tanning beds ,belly button ring (got the hole), criminal record and tin-roof.

Okay, I go tanning sometimes (rarely, and only when soooo depressed that I am almost shoved due to lack of Vitamin D-or at least that is what I think it is). I SMOKE!!!!!!! Not all of the time, but socially and when stressed. I smoke what Britney Spears smokes :( Marlboro Lights. Double Sad Face :( :(

All Southern Belles have tempers though.Right? Look at the Ya-Ya's and Scarlett ( Katie Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler....that is)

Hell, NO, I am not a JOY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would never walk around a store (barely my house where the floors are clean)barefoot........ and cant stand soaps.That is ridiculous.

I almost scared myself into thinking I was a imposter.

Whew...close one.

"I am never wrong. I thought I was wrong once, but I wasn't. Just mistaken,that's all"

The opposite of a G.R.I.T.S!

2009-02-26T08:12:00.011-05:00

Most of Y'all Yankees (term of endearment, huns) know of "grits" only as the "yucky food that is a lil like cream of wheat". (Actually, I really like grits if they are the right consistency, with butter and salt and pepper, mixed with my eggs)..but anyways.

G.R.I.T.S= Girls Raised In The South, and it means so much more to BE A G.R.I.T.S girl, than to just be southern.I am going to explain what makes a G.R.I.T.S girl special in another post, for now I will just tell you who we AREN'T!

WE are NOT "rednecks,hicks or hillbilly's" just because we were born on the other side of the Mason-Dixon line (I've met or heard of all of the above from up north ,and out west also) and many people totally stereotype southerners as one of those labels.

I am going to clarify what each means to a Southerner.

REdneck:(oooh , my favorite) usually native to Gaston County (but not limited to), is a woman or man, (children of rednecks are called "lipnicky's") that is easy to spot in a public place, smoking a Marlboro or Doral, drinking beer or Sundrop (or some type of Southern Soda). The women love the tanning beds,fake nails, belly-button piercings,cheap makeup, knock off purses,short shirts and tee-shirts that declare "I'm a bitch". Either male or female are proud to "kick your ass" with a baby on their hip! They have no problem wearing their jeans too tight, going in a store barefoot, or telling you about how they "told such and such off". These women (and men) detest exercise (which makes for an ugly picture),think white zin is good wine, love soap opera's, Dale Jr, Wrestling and the flea market.

GREAT example..Joy Turner/Darville from my name is Earl!!!( Jamie Pressley is actually from Gaston County!) Watch the re-run where her kids are gone for the weekend, and how she really thinks that if you put liquor in a slurpie cup, the cops wont know you're drunk. Classic!

Hick= Someone from the country who may not know much about city life, and talks a little strange. I havent met too many hicks.

Hillbilly= wild crazy, unshaven, mountain or backwood people-who still live off the land more than the rest of us, and drink and know how to make moonshine.

Most of these people dont blog, for they dont know how to use the Internet...except for an occasional redneck, and when she does-she is the talk of her trailer park, and everyone comes to her to see who went to jail on Meck.Org :)

Good Morning, Delightful Divas!!!!

2009-02-25T08:55:00.009-05:00

I just love being a COMPLETE cornball on here...you'd just have to do my personality to understand why.Anywho....

Nick and I had a big blowout a few weeks ago, and he was all driving me crazy and stuff, and that's when I was like "Oh, no you ain't gonna treat me like a maid" (ha ha-like the way I talk?whatadork I am)and I put the brakes on.

Things have gotten better since then. We have both really talked and have changed things. I started sleeping back in the bed because he started picking up his socks.Fair enough,right?

I talked to his mother,weeks ago (cant explain THAT relationship right now) and she told me that he was talking a lot about marriage, but made me PROMISE not to mention it.I didnt believe her.

Last night he told me that if I kept my act together( thats him acting silly), and tried not to shop as much, and save money, there "might" be a ring in my near future....and that he would liked to get married soon. What is soon???Of coarse I am planning in my head, right now! LOL

I want to be engaged..........I just dont know about getting married. I told him that. I mean it. I am just being honest. Its not that I have a problem being with someone for the rest of my life, its just that I am scared that I AM DOOMED. What if I mess that up. I am not a cheater or anything, I dont lie to him, but what if I got married and one day..........I realized he didnt love me. I feel like that about anyone. I have always got cold feet when it came to the point where I saw that in the future, even though I want it.

I loooove weddings. Love them! But planning one, and spending that money would be a NIGHTMARE,and his family and him dont believe in going to the courthouse, they find it insulting.

It is not him that I feel this way about, it has been like this my whole LIFE, about marriage. It IS a scary thing..just like buying a new home or new car.See how long it took me to do those things! Really!!!!

So ,anyways..I am daydreaming about our cake,and rings and flowers. (I have already daycreamed about our white picket fence life,before marriage was a word used in our vocabulary) I dont care so much about the dress, but I do. I like one, but it doesnt go with the whole,"theme". I love all the pics above, minus all the blue-thats a lil overdone.

I took the quiz on Bride.com for fun one time,and it said I was BEACHY CHIC, and that is true. I would want a small, very small, beach wedding. Nick wants that too. His family wants a big one...who cares what they want! HA!!!!

I know it sounds tacky, but I want a Pig Pickin' afterwards. Nothing fancy.Or a clambake and Oyster Roast. That is true to who WE are. I would serve Mint Juleps and Mango Mojitos....oh and Pineapple and Coconut Rum...cant forget that.I think Mint Juleps sound better with Pig Pickin's if you ask me, but still...couldnt we do it Hawaain Style? Who knows Im rambeling.

I am just not good at planning that type of thing,I told him that a year ago when he first brought up marriage. I have soooo many different things I like, and I have seen that I like, but that dont fit who I AM, and that is probably bc I am not supposed to be married. But if I were. haha

My jewlery is my grandmothers. I do know that I want tents on the beach, and I have my flowers arrangments for the tables picked out. I know what dress I want Andrea to wear, and I think Heather and I would do most of the decorating ourselves. We could be crafty. I dont even want a caterer. I wish I went to a good church that had lil ol women who liked to cook, I like that feel more. You guys are probably thinking "wow,she is shallow, and tacky"

It is soooo typical female of me to already be planning this in my head.Isnt it? I am embarrased!

But for now, I told him, I would be happy with the ring.I wont say "no", bc eventually I probably would marry him, but no time too soon. Not because it is HIM, but because of that word. What is it with that word???

And who says that you have to wear a diamond? Princess Dianna didnt. I dont really LOVE diamonds in the center, I want something different. I'll look for a pic and post that too!

Kiehls is the best!!! (on and Philosophy)

2009-02-24T15:51:00.009-05:00

I treated myself to Philosophy's Waffle Cone shower gel/bubble bath/shampoo after my hard day yesterday...(my legs are STILL aching from weight lifting .......I WAS DOING 110 pounds on the hip abduction-UGH) and this smells soo yummy, I was in heaven in my bathtub....or at least a bakery with bubbles! I can't find it anymore though, can't find the Lavender Cupcake anymore either. Oh,well!

But Brad Pitt doesnt work with Philosophy, and he does work with Kiehls in an effort to help those impacted by Hurrican Katrina!

I found the BEST Shampoo and Conditioner for Dry/Color Treated/Coarse hair (mine are all of the above, or beside <--- he he) Olive Fruit Oil Shampoo and Conditioner.It is by one of Nick and my own favorite brands, Kiehls. There products are reasonably priced and natural. A lil about their History: "Kiehl’s was founded as an old-world apothecary in New York’s East Village neighborhood over 150 years ago. Our unique and extensive background represents a blend of cosmetic, pharmaceutical, herbal, and medicinal knowledge developed through the generations."

Okay, so Kiehls used to be a lil ol' pharmacy, and are now LOVED by celebrities from Oprah,Madonna to John Mayer. Nick brought me home a few samples of some things I never have tried, can you believe HE brought ME samples???? Yep, he's metro! Kinda..not really.

The Creme with Silk Groom made my hair soooo soft and shiny (ecspec. paired with the other styling aids they gave samples of) that I am now a groupie, and will be buying it soon! LOOK for yourself!

Nick loves their shave cream and now they came out with some for women that I have to buy. I get razor burn easily!!! :( So I am exited about this. Look at the pretty packaging!!!

This brand has everything from Baby products to Pet products. I LOVE THEM! I SOOOO SWEAR BY THESE PRODUCTS, and I am a product whore. I won't usually commit to too many of them and have to try everything, but there isn't anything customized for ME that I don't like. If you have a moment, which if you are reading this, you do...GO HERE and get custom fitted for the best products for YOU!!! Then go by the counter and ask for some free samples (I used to hate when ppl did that when I worked the cosmetics counter) They actually like for you to do this.Once you use the stuff, you'll see why.
Now don't come back telling me that you hated the Hand Salve if you have oily hands, use what is RECOMMENDED for you and you can't go wrong with these folks!

There Mission:

Our Mission
"A worthwhile firm must have a purpose for its existence. Not only the everyday work-a-day purpose to earn a just profit, but beyond that, to improve in some way the quality of the community to which it is committed. Each firm-as should each person-contributes to those around it; and by dint of its day-to-day efforts, the message it thereby imparts is a revelation of the quality standard at which its life's work is conducted.”

No Animal Testing
At Kiehl's, we use the finest ingredients known to us in the formulation of our unique preparations. Kiehl's does not test - nor have we ever tested - our products on animals. We offer our customers products of the highest quality which have been tested thoroughly in laboratory environments to ensure maximum safety.

My blog for the Day! A lil (or a lot) about my ...second home

2009-02-24T12:42:00.003-05:00

I have been thinking this blog over and over in my head for a while now. I don't know exactly WHY I want to write about this, or where to star, or what I need to say. Something needs to be written though. Hopefully it will flow and make sense. Let's see

When I first thought of writing the blog, it was going to be more in depth. It was going to tell you how my employers met and the way that they started the company. Sounds boring, huh? Not if you knew my employers. I asked Greg (one of the two owners) some questions about how he and Butch came to know each other. Was it a friendship that turned professional. Did they go to high school together, and have big dreams and talk about "making it big"?
Greg looked at me and kinda smirked and said "getting kinda personal aren't you?" You'd have to be around Greg for a length of time to see how humorous this is. That is just his personality.
SO, I can't tell you how the company was started. I could, but it would not be 100% accurate, and that is not fair.

What I can tell you is how I came to work for this GREAT company. This little building filled with such incredible,loyal,noble,sometimes dysfunctional yet profound and unique people with Big personalities.

I worked as a waitress (I had a few other more "professional,clerical" jobs than that in the past) in a little dive when Nick and I first started dating. My parents had lost their home (my father lost his job,and my mother caved into drinking under the financial stress) and I asked my roommate to leave so that my parents could stay with me.Waiting tables in the a.m worked with my schedule best. I was paid cash daily and got off at 2pm. Nick was embarrassed of my "profession" and not only that was worried about Andrea and I having insurance. I was too! I looked everywhere for a normal 9-5. I have worked free-lance with Calvin Klein Fragrance (no insurance) and have worked the Cosmetics Counter for department stores (bad hours).

I had no luck finding an administrative job on my own, so I reluctantly called a Temp. Agency. They told me that they had a position. Pay wasn't excellent, but IF..that is IF, you were hired perm, the company paid ALL of your benefits. I would be an idiot not to go for an interview. I had another company that was willing to pay more per hour that I was to interview with the following week (not all benefits would be paid there). The Agent told me that she had sent many very qualified women to the first office that I had an interview with, and the owner rejected all applicants. She had no idea what he was looking for, all of the women were EXTREMELY qualified. That made me feel hopeless. These women were more qualified than I was.

I went into my interview, dressed "business casual" at the owners request. I walked into the small office and was greeted by Greg. Butch (the other owner) was out that day. Greg asked me a few questions about past employment history and availability, and within 10 minutes, I was hired. I was exited to say the least, although I did not like the idea of being a RECEPTIONIST! I felt like I would be the little person. Oh,well...means to an end. I would keep my eyes open.

My first day I was greeted by Donna and told that I was replacing her at the front,and answering calls. She was "too busy" with work to answer phones as well (not entirely true) and was made Office Manager. I laughed to myself in my head (how hard is it to manage such a small office).I had no idea what I was in for.
The phone didn't ring much that day, and I had nothing to do but stare at the walls. Greg told me he was ordering a computer for me, and Donna said out loud (now remember this) "I think this is nonsense, all she is to do is answer the phones". I think Greg wanted to give me a few more tasks and keep me occupied. Staring at the wall for hours can get monotonous.

I got to know the people in the office slowly as time went by and everyone was pleasant, but hard to read. Robin started at the same time as I did, and although our positions and personalities are very different, we became friends fast. There are only 3 women in the building. Donna was definitely not the type of woman we would do lunch with.

All of the men would have lunch together, and I think the first people that I got to know well were Ted,(who at the time hated Donna and thought I should "replace" her) Donna (who hated me, and thought I should be replaced with someone more "qualified"). (If anyone is qualified to "answer phones"-it's me. Ha Ha...much practice in high school) Robin,Frank (Butch's quiet but kind and extremely intelligent son) and Mike. Mike is the father figure to all of the Project Managers here. He is the only Senior Project Manager. In the morning he would show me pictures of family and we would drink coffee and talk (we were the first in the office then). I really warmed up to him.

For months things ran smoothly. I had a few small tasks to do each day, but the people who came in the office were delighted with me,and me with them. I started to feel like I had built relationships with the clients and some of the employees in the building. I was happy.

One Monday morning, I came to work, holding back tears.That weekend I had a traumatic experience(which I have told you about) and had to watch my mother as she was wheeled out in an ambulance. I had to make a sudden and life changing decision to kick my parents out, cut ties with them for however long needed for my daughter and my own sake. I had no where to go( when my mother was released I tried to kick them out and the police, with a sad expression told me that I had to go through the whole Eviction process to have them leave,which could take 30 days). It was best if my daughter and I left. My lease was up, so I thought long and hard about moving to New Bern with Nick.

Now I just had to wait for the owners to come in to tell them that I would not be returning the next day (notice wasn't needed with a temp agency) and that the agency would find my replacement.

TO my surprise, Butch was the only person in the office that morning when I walked in. He normally comes in later. I asked to talk with him, shut the door, had a seat, and as soon as I opened my mouth began to ball. I told him that I was leaving, and when he asked "why" ,without pride, due to the newness,hurt, and shock of the situation, I told him the entire story. His mouth dropped. Butch reminds me of Tony Soprano and at this time, I did not know he had a soft side.
He calmy told me to write down ALL of my bills and find the number for the temp agency. I did so, and he told me that I was not moving to New Bern...."that was a bad idea", since I was un-wed. He said that he wanted to keep me at the office, and that he wanted me to be independent. If I were to move with Nick, I wouldn't be. He called the Temp Agency, asked how much it would be to buy my contract (something the Agent told me she had never heard of in her 30 years of experience) and took the piece of paper to Ted, the accountant. He had me sit and wait in the office.
When he came back, he gave me a figure of what I would make and explained that it was a raise "of sorts" and that it was not much, but I could pay for Andrea and I to live without depending on anyone. He had my locks changed at the condo I lived at, and helped me get into new apartment. (my parents wouldn't leave, I was taken for all the money I had at this point). No one was to know how much I made, or what happened,accept for him,Ted,Mike, and Greg. Somehow Donna found out.

As I went into thank Greg as well (Butch of coarse called him too) I couldn't look him in the face. I just cried and cried. He said nothing.Greg is uncomfortable when he sees people cry. His wife called me later that day and told me all about her story of being a single mother until she met Greg, and that I was fortunate for this company, and that they enjoyed having me work for them. I had never spoke much to his wife before that, but after talking with her, I was so taken back. Now here is a woman who drives a Lexus hybrid, who gets to travel around the world, and owns a toy store, telling me of hard times and struggles and how I reminded her of herself once. She is actually so different than what I had pictured. Not at all a primadonna. She takes in stray cats and has the vet heal their wounds and gets them fixed. Her and Greg still go on road trips together, and love to wear running shoes. They both like to garden and have a love for The Beatles. Had she not called, I would have never known that she was once a young single mother to 4 children.4!!!

Greg understands the importance of family. He has 4 stepchildren and a daughter of his own. He feels for those who struggle, and is a constant source of support for his employees...whether it be us in the office, or the guys out in the field. He thinks about things and is a business man, with a heart...who could make more than what he makes at times ( not that he does bad)if he did business the way that many other G.C's do, but puts honesty and loyalty first. He may not be the "pep-talking" type like Mike, but he genuinely cares for all of his employees, and respects everyone as equals. I mean that........everyone! He has taught his daughter to do the same.

Over the past year or so, I have gotten to know Greg better than Butch, but I am still very thankful to both of them and hold them both on pedestals. This experience, that day, this company, these people, have made such a great impact on my life. Not only was I given a lot (probably over half bc I cried like a baby) but also I was taught more than that...about kindness, loyalty, and fellowship! I am blessed.
I have been offered other jobs, one making $10,000 more a year, but I could not picture myself working anywhere else.

Sometimes I think about it like "Am I going to be a 60 year old receptionist/administrative assistant,and what am I learning to further my career". And I am proud to say that I will stay here as long as they will keep me, and money can't buy happiness.Your "Job title" can't buy happiness, Pride..but not happiness, if what you are doing makes you happy. The people who walk through this door,everyone from the UPS driver, to Subcontractors, to Architects and Doctors make me happy, and most of them agree that if even for a brief few moments that we speak,I make them happy then too! I feel fulfilled.
"If you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life"

Purses!!!

2009-02-23T10:25:00.004-05:00

I just bought these adorable (or at least I thought so) shoes. Don't they look COMFY? Check out more here!

I just love Jessica Simpson's shoes. That is one thing she is good at...designing, or wearing....okay, well.......PUTTING HER NAME ON shoes. Yep, that' s it.

Some of them look kinda "hoochified" from time to time, but the quality is great, the price isnt so bad, and if you want to try a Gucci look with out the wallet for them, she (or you Nordstrom shoe Sales Woman) is the girl to see! They arent a "steal" but they are reasonable.

I ordered mine on http://www.shoebuy.com/, then order a promo code from http://www.couponalbum.com/. Saved my like $30. (I saw them at a Boutique Saturday and had to have them)

WARNING! Do not click the "do you want to save an addition $20?) button at the end of your purchase. I am still trying to get my credit card info back from them. UGH!

Now I have to find a bag.

There is a bag, not VeraBradley, but someone else (a womans name) that I have seen that I like in a cool green or yellow color......now I dont remember what the brand is called. It has a heart charm on it a lot. They are pretty inexpensive.......what are they called? Any help?

Update! I love y'alls pennies!

2009-02-20T10:15:00.004-05:00

He does sound like a dick, doesn't he? He wasn't always. He HAS however always been a two-timer, but he was a good friend to me in very important times in life.
I told him that I am busy with Andrea's dance schedule, and that he can meet me at Target, b/c I have to do some shopping, but I only have an hour. He said he was busy at that time and asked what other times I was availible. I said..."only in the a.m, but that is when I go to the gym. You can work out with me if you would like to! He said "what about breakfast?" I said" well I suppose a short breakfast would work, but I am very busy, and can't drive too far. I can meet you at Southpark (30 minutes for each of us) at 7:30pm tomorow. I have to be at the gym by 8:30. He said "that sounds great". He hasnt been in town in years, either he will party too hard tonight to make it, or I will cancel. I am not giving into him. Nothing would happen, but I dont need to hear him talk about"what if's" and make me feel bad, when I drive away, once again, all alone,unwed-as "the girl you wished you would have married if only she were the marrying type".
Did I mention to yall that LAST week, a guy named Jason, who I totally screwed up with (he was a country boy with a big heart,I was a city girl with way too much to do) found me on facebook (created a profile to talk to me)....only to tell me that he had been having dreams about me. He was unhappily married and he still had a box in the garage of all of our special stuff ! (movie stubbs, pics,etc)
Jason stayed in the "friend zone " with me for years. He was adorable, very masculine, but was "too sweet". HE confessed his love for me in a letter,4 years after we had been hanging out (never even kissed) . He bought me a diamond necklace and I gave it back, telling him that I couldnt accept.....and I knew he deserved better.
Well, he didnt get better. He got a cheating wife, and I am now kicking myself, as he is going to marriage couseling.
Once again........."the girl you wished you would have married " but this time "if only she were a lil bit smarter and less into herself at the time".
What is God trying to tell me here, as I go home to my Nick, the guy who thinks that I should feel "grateful" to have him?

I appreciate ALL of your $.0.2!!!!!!!!!
Did I tell y'all that Andrea told me that the kid who brought the most pennies in today got a pancake???? She wanted like $3.00 worth of pennies. I tried to give her cash and she told me that wasnt good enough. Ha!!!!!
That seems sooo unfair!!!! Really!

BODYBUILDING.....please.haaahaa

2009-02-20T09:09:00.003-05:00

I joined a new gym, and got a tanning bed package (yuk-soooo redneck of me). I decided to get more serious then EVER before abou my fitness goals. I love to lifet weights , I just hate cardio....really !

Lately everyone has told me that I look sick, and I have been, but I am losing "too much" weight. Well, I still see lovehandles, and I am not trying to lose weight. Sometimes it happens.

So I joined the BEST gym, and went online to get some new exercises..........a friend suggested BODYBUILDING.COM! Dont waste your time!

Tell me if you REALLY believe this????........and this stuff makes me feel like I am on CRACK! Not worth it.ha ha-transforamtion pics, my arse!!!!!!!!! You can always go back and LOOK at my lovehandles when they are gone.......isnt that the point of losing them. Out of sight , out of mind???? At least for me.