Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Life's little secrets from your everyday idiot

I am not ever going to be a "Mommy Blogger" not because I don't love being a mother and think that is my most important job, but because (a) I am not a good "blogger" and (B) Mommy is just one huge part of who I am, I still have a little bit else left to me.

I once heard someone say that when you hand over your problems to the Lord you don't know that they have gone until you remember to worry about them. That when you leave your old selfish life behind; you don't miss it. You don't miss your drunken saturday nights, or your hysterical cursing matches with your ex boyfriend. You don't miss the gambeling.You don't miss the drugs you do in only the company of your coolest friends, or the meaningless sex with that married man that you soooooo dont want to live without right now. God's love comes and take the place of that euphoria away, and you actually feel something that leaves you joyous and hoepful instead of hungover or paranoid. You feel something that can't fail you, and won't leave you.

I think for (Most) moms, becoming a mother is the same way (not a close comparison to God's love, bc nothing is on the greater scale.....but as much as we can fathom on earth). For a split second I might miss going out and partying with my friends, or the money I wasted on frivilous things, or the time I had to soak in vanity........but it's a mere second....and it's gone and I smile in my heart bc without a children filled my life so much that the need they had for me, pushed out those things I clung onto in youth....and good riddens!

Another life lesson that I have learned is to believe cliches. They are overused because they usually ring true. You cannot fail when you......
Are always prepared.
Live and let live.
Forgive and forget.
Remember that "zebra's cant change their stripes"
misery loves company
hindsight is 20/20
you learn from your mistakes but its best to learn from others
you can't slow down the hands of time
wait until you are ready
go the speed limit
time heals
it's okay to cry
If they dont like you for who you are, they arent worth it
do unto others as your would yourself

and the list goes on.............................

I also have recently found truth in the fact that everything dark gets brought into the light at some time. If not in front of a large crowd when you want it, to the person who needs to hear it most, in their own little moment in their own little time. So when you are holding onto regret and anger and resentment, know that " it's like throwing a hot coal at someone" still get burned. And often times we hurt more than they do from holding that hot coal for so long. For some reason it takes them a lot longer to recieve it, then it does us for holding onto it, waiting. And it's funny how God orchestrates that. Their is an amazing message in the fact that he knew people were going to deal with resentment and he also knew it left them better then before the event happened that got them upset to begin with when they learned to let it go.
Truth be told, God allows us to go through ugly places, phases and things. In the Bible they called it the Wilderness and he sent the people he loved dearly through the wilderness time and time again. I am sure it heart his heart to see them GO through it, but not to COME OUT OF IT, because it is then that we understand how Faith, Love and Prayer and like muscles taht we have to work out and depend on. You can't do it alone, and when you HAVE FAITH in HIM through the wilderness, it brings him so much joy to walk you out of it.

I'm venting.........please excuse me.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


It has been such a long time since I have been on this site! I am going to make a conscience decision to log in and write, not for you all (because yall dont care- you are better about this than I am -and I am embarrased at my slackness) but for me. I think writting is a catharsis!
SO much is going on. Where do I start. Moved to a new town into a new house that I am still getting used to cleaning up. My son is almost a year old (March 11th) so that means its been a really long time since I have talked with you all! My daughter started 2nd grade and is doing excellent in school. My daughters father and I are going through a custody battle again and that is STRESSFUL to say the least. Lawyers can be bottom feeders! Nick and I still arent married. I cant MAKE him marry me today and although I would like to, I know waiting until the summer is best.
Andrea and I were baptized and I feel like a new woman. I still have my struggles at times, but I cannot explain the feeling that God put into my heart. It's pretty amazing. Ill get more into that later. I just wanted to drop by and say "hello" and hopefully I still have a reader or two to connect with :D

How about you follow me, and I follow you, and we can walk around in big circles?

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