Wednesday, March 11, 2009

In honor of #100..a Rerun!!!!! What I Have Learned About Being an Adult From a Child

I am a 26 year old single mommy to a beautiful little girl named Andrea Jadyn. She was born April 28th , 2003.

I remember that day so well! She has a face that melts my heart! I look at her sometimes and wonder could there have been a mistake in the hospital? Could I really be a part of something so terrific? People compliment me all the time on how well mannered she is, or how mature she is, or her sweet disposition. I did not do anything to be complimented on. She has her moments and days, just like any other child, but for the most part,she was just born that way. I am a firm believer that some people are born with rotten hearts (they can be fixed of coarse) and some are born with almost angelic hearts. God blessed me with a child so sweet and kind by nature, and I cant take any of the credit. This was how she was born, not raised. Although, I'd like to think I teach her to have good morals and am giving her a good upbringing, I can honestly say that some of this comes naturally for her. She is a such a blessing and I thank God every day for this wonderful gift that has been bestowed upon me.

Growing up I never really saw myself as a mother. I can honestly say that I did not want to have children for fear of caring that deeply for someone and something happening to them. The thought is still scary, but was I really willing to not ever feel this type of love for fear of being sad? I look back at myself and I have no idea who I was. I no longer know that person and don't think that I ever did. I was so lost! The birth of my daughter (even the pregnancy) taught me so much about humbling yourself. About seeing yourself in others, about compassion. When you look at everyone as someones child, its harder to be so ugly to people. When I see someone that I know has had it really hard, or who has been picked on, I not only feel bad for them, But I also feel bad for their mother. It's strange how motherhood will do that to you. ( this is always easier with strangers, but I'm working on it) Being a good person is one of the hardest things you can reach for in this life. With all that society tells us that we should be, insecurities turn people into people they can not be proud of, but choose to be anyways. (I believe that Faith in God is the best medicine for this, even though I haven't really had a full dose) I am in no way perfect. I still dislike a person or two for something that happened way too long ago.I am still flawed in so many ways. But parenting and my faith is changing these flaws, daily, weekly, yearly-at least the ones that matter.My hair is still going to be a frizzy nightmare a year from now (unless Heather produces some concoction(MS?) that tames the fro) But I know the personality qualities that I not proud of will shed like dead skin, all because of what I learn from this darling little girl. How can I tell her to forgive others if I cant forgive (something I struggle with terribly), how can I tell her to love everyone in her class, when I cant love everyone I work with? How can I tell her to love herself for who she is when I don't do the same? Is it fair to tell her to control her temper, when she sees me lose it? Like I said, parenting for me is a humbling experience, and trust me- I feel as though I'm learning more from her than she is from me.

Like I have said too many times before, If you only knew me before the birth of my daughter, you have no idea who I am now. Her birth, brought forth the beginning of life for her, and the beginning of a new me and new life for myself.

This was a song that my mother used to sing to/with me as a child....and I sing the same version to Andrea. It brings tears to my eyes to hear it, again. I love you both!


  1. What a sweet, sweet post!! You and Andrea are both precious. That picture is gorgeous!!

  2. You didn't ask me a question!!!

  3. Love the post! You put out there so many things that I think all of us mothers (especially to daughters) think about and strive to be and it is most definatley humbling and a total learning experience about ourselves! They make you be a better person.
    You are a beautfiul soul!

  4. That was such a beautiful post. I hope you share that with her some day. That shows how much you treasure your darling little gift from God.


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