Monday, June 8, 2009

Why do they grow up!

I love my daughter more than ANYTHING in this world, but I dont like being a "parent". Why cant I just be her best friend, and then her shoulder to lean on when she needs one? why cant I just be the one she crawls up with when she is sick, and runs home to tell what boy she likes in school. Why do I HAVE TO be the bad guy sometimes.

I realized yesterday, that I spend more time making her clean her room, read, take a bath, getting her to dance and daycare and back, then I do...enjoying her. Why cant I let her room get extra dirty, and let her wear her hair with knots if she wants ? It's not fair. What about what I want? She is really growing up too fast, and soon enough, I wont be able to hold her anymore. She wont want to sit on my lap and have me rub her why cant I take these moments and hold them forever, and breath them in, never letting go? Why? ...bc if I dont tell her to clean her room and do all of these important things, it is actually just selfish and not benefiting her at all. I want someone else to do it. IF I were rich, I WOULD hire a Nanny, to train up my child, and let me be her VERY best friend. You can turn your nose up to that if you want. Id still be there for her whenever she needed me, no matter what, but I wouldnt have to parent at all. Id take her to school, pick her up and the Nanny would deal with all of the hard stuff (like making her clean her OWN room, instead of a maid) and making her look for her own shoes, instead of hanging them to her. Honestly I am sick of being the bad guy for a greater cause. I just want to love her all up, but I guess that is impossible. My duty isnt to be a best friend, but a PARENT, and honestly, a good one of those, is probably the best friend you can have in the long run!


  1. I hear ya:) I may not be a parent (I'm a mommy-in-waiting) but I do understand the feeling of wanting to be a buddy to a little one rather than a role model. Being a role model is so much to live up to! I'm positive I really have no idea because I'm not yet a Mom:) On a small level I can relate though because I have a niece who is MY WORLD - we've essentially grown up together because my sister had her when she was very young. I am a serious dork when I'm around her and I often forget to be "the adult." So yea, I understand. You're a great parent for seeing this now. But don't beat yourself up. You're doing an awesome job!:)

  2. I like the new blog design btw.

  3. SHe looks adorable!!

    This is so true, but you are an amazing mom and an amazing lady so I have no doubts ya'll will be best friends!!


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