Friday, February 20, 2009

The Dilema!!!!!!

My ex-boyfriend's back in town. My first LOVE, who strung me along (although he claims otherwise). The only man I cried and begged for in my life! I begged him not to get married (he was mine first, since I was 12!!!!) and pleaded with him "why dont you love me???" One of the saddest and dumbest moments of my life.
(He told me he did love me,very much-always had.......but we would never have the life he and Paige would, and he loved her in a different way)
I saw him at his parents house (we grew up in the same neighborhood) The Christmas he found out his stepdad had brain surgery. I brought Andrea (she was a baby) and I met Paige. Who I loved....but got a few smart remarks from (I was not invited to the wedding earlier, because of her, and who can blame her?). When Paige went to the kitchen as we were all in the game room talking, he tried to get me to talk to him,and whispered in my ear that he still loved me. Then as I was leaving,tried to kiss me...........with her in the house! WHAT NERVE! I cursed him out!
He tried to call me a year later, I cursed him out again,told him I felt sorry for Paige for meeting such a jerk, and feel blessed it wasnt me. Resentful Jade?
I havent talked to him since
He has since move to Alaska with the Navy, and they are still married. He calls our friends and asks why they let him take that LEAP? .....and always asks about me. No one knows what to say. Tell him that he was the first guy to break my heart, and that I never recovered completely. He complains that I always dated losers instead of him. He doesnt know that I always dated losers, in REPLACEMENT of him....and I was shielding myself from falling tooo hard again. Until Nick, I only dated people who I had the upper hand with!
His stepdad died and he is down for the funeral and wants to see me, badly!!! Wont quit calling my friends! What should I do? I am in a f-ed up relationship, he is married............UGH! He just wants to go to lunch before I pick up Andrea today, but isnt that WRONG!?!?!
Even though I have known him since childhood? IT sucks that marriage can put RULES on a childhood friendship, but makes sense because it became so much more to us. I havent given an answer. My bff tells me I should, just for closure for him,I had mine (so I thought) that Christmas.
I am NOT THAT GIRL, never have been-except with him....and when I begged him not to get married....that was IT for me.
I am not attending his Stepdads funeral,needless to say.


  1. oh yea! that's a big dilemma. not sure what I would do. if you decide to go to lunch, then do it in a very public place!!! maybe have a friend tag along... i hope it works out for the best!

  2. Sweetie while this is none of my business, you asked so I felt compelled to give my $.02!

    First of all he sounds like a complete ass and I should know I've had one (or five) just like him in my life!

    If you feel that you had closure then why put yourself through it? To me it makes no sense, but if you can go see him with the attitude that nothing he says or does will make you feel anything but sorry for him then go for it...if for no other reason than to show him what a childish, moronic dick he is!


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