Good Morning, Delightful Divas!!!!

I just love being a COMPLETE cornball on here...you'd just have to do my personality to understand why.Anywho....

Nick and I had a big blowout a few weeks ago, and he was all driving me crazy and stuff, and that's when I was like "Oh, no you ain't gonna treat me like a maid" (ha ha-like the way I talk?whatadork I am)and I put the brakes on.

Things have gotten better since then. We have both really talked and have changed things. I started sleeping back in the bed because he started picking up his socks.Fair enough,right?

I talked to his mother,weeks ago (cant explain THAT relationship right now) and she told me that he was talking a lot about marriage, but made me PROMISE not to mention it.I didnt believe her.

Last night he told me that if I kept my act together( thats him acting silly), and tried not to shop as much, and save money, there "might" be a ring in my near future....and that he would liked to get married soon. What is soon???Of coarse I am planning in my head, right now! LOL

I want to be engaged..........I just dont know about getting married. I told him that. I mean it. I am just being honest. Its not that I have a problem being with someone for the rest of my life, its just that I am scared that I AM DOOMED. What if I mess that up. I am not a cheater or anything, I dont lie to him, but what if I got married and one day..........I realized he didnt love me. I feel like that about anyone. I have always got cold feet when it came to the point where I saw that in the future, even though I want it.

I loooove weddings. Love them! But planning one, and spending that money would be a NIGHTMARE,and his family and him dont believe in going to the courthouse, they find it insulting.

It is not him that I feel this way about, it has been like this my whole LIFE, about marriage. It IS a scary thing..just like buying a new home or new car.See how long it took me to do those things! Really!!!!

So ,anyways..I am daydreaming about our cake,and rings and flowers. (I have already daycreamed about our white picket fence life,before marriage was a word used in our vocabulary) I dont care so much about the dress, but I do. I like one, but it doesnt go with the whole,"theme". I love all the pics above, minus all the blue-thats a lil overdone.

I took the quiz on Bride.com for fun one time,and it said I was BEACHY CHIC, and that is true. I would want a small, very small, beach wedding. Nick wants that too. His family wants a big one...who cares what they want! HA!!!!

I know it sounds tacky, but I want a Pig Pickin' afterwards. Nothing fancy.Or a clambake and Oyster Roast. That is true to who WE are. I would serve Mint Juleps and Mango Mojitos....oh and Pineapple and Coconut Rum...cant forget that.I think Mint Juleps sound better with Pig Pickin's if you ask me, but still...couldnt we do it Hawaain Style? Who knows Im rambeling.

I am just not good at planning that type of thing,I told him that a year ago when he first brought up marriage. I have soooo many different things I like, and I have seen that I like, but that dont fit who I AM, and that is probably bc I am not supposed to be married. But if I were. haha

My jewlery is my grandmothers. I do know that I want tents on the beach, and I have my flowers arrangments for the tables picked out. I know what dress I want Andrea to wear, and I think Heather and I would do most of the decorating ourselves. We could be crafty. I dont even want a caterer. I wish I went to a good church that had lil ol women who liked to cook, I like that feel more. You guys are probably thinking "wow,she is shallow, and tacky"

It is soooo typical female of me to already be planning this in my head.Isnt it? I am embarrased!

But for now, I told him, I would be happy with the ring.I wont say "no", bc eventually I probably would marry him, but no time too soon. Not because it is HIM, but because of that word. What is it with that word???

And who says that you have to wear a diamond? Princess Dianna didnt. I dont really LOVE diamonds in the center, I want something different. I'll look for a pic and post that too!