Complaints from The DITZY SECRETARY

ABOVE IS MY NEW WARDROBE AND NEW ATTITUDE, IF I ALREADY GET TREATED LIKE ONE, MIGHTAS WELL HAVE FUN WITH IT!

I am very ill spirited today.Probably because of Negative Nancy (what guys name starts w. "N"?) oh, I know "Nick". What a damn coincidence. That is his name. Oh,well doesn't sound as good as Nancy.
I have a Donna Downer(who reminds me, but is much worse and uglier and older than Angela from The Office) I work with, and I really love and have love for all mankind, but if something terrible were to EVER happen to her...well, lets say that I am HUMAN, so not completely "good" you self-righteous ladies out there...and I would have to talk to God a LOT about making me feel sad! Because I would want to throw a party. I watched a movie about a woman murdering someone she worked with for a promotion, now that is stupid. But for a minute there, I didn't it would be so terrible if she were annoying. I wont ever go to that extreme, but I'd like to see a movie about it!
Donna drives me NUTZ! Even more so than Nick, because from DAY 1, she rubbed me the wrong way. Everything she does is S__L___O___W and deliberate. She is like 50 and never pee's. She is very very frugal(she told me when I first started to staple scrap paper together instead of using post-its to cut cost...and we got in an argument over a NOTEBOOK), and never makes a mistake , and she is an instigator,a tattle tale, and above all, she brags....about nothing (her Administrative Association Meetings).
She's never had children, and her husband sounds like he carries a purse (must to marry her). She has a higher *position* in the company than I do, but I make a $1 less than her (if we were to measure it by hourly pay) and I don't do anything. NEWSFLASH, neither does SHE! They keep her there because these men don't want to file, and do invoices. Guess what? I FILE, she does invoices. I ANSWER THE PHONES, because...............after 7 years , the complaints were sooooooo high about her dry,rude,persnickety personality, that my WONDERFUL boss told her that he wanted to give her a promotion (not to hurt her feelings) and hired ME to get her out of the public view. NOW no one is supposed to see her...BUT ME! I took her old position, (she does the same thing, just less now-thanks to me) and Got an office, and a new title (OFFICE MANAGER) and a $.25 raise. WOW! But she thought she owned me, and resents me because not only am I CAPABLE of doing her job, I make almost as much as her, and she has been here 7 years! My boss finally told her that she "just trained me and is NOT my BOSS/Supervisor, and to leave me alone", after I cursed her out. I asked him if I could do invoices and he said "that's the only damn thing Donna has to do all day". I said "well, I just answer the phone, file the insurance and do the mail, and in my spare time play on the Internet" He said "that's okay. No one else here can answer the phone, they all have personality defects, but are good at their JOBS, you cant do accounting, and The Accountant would run everyone off". I said" well DOnna and Ted (the accountant who bought his bride online from Asia, looks like Uncle Fester, has a HUGE Moose KNUCKLE, drives a Bug,and listens to asian music (even though he is white) give me the stink eye when I do nothing. He said "they don't sign your checks, just DON'T argue with them again or I'll have to do something, ignore them due to seniority, and look at the source" SO I have been. But Donna is making me want to flip!!!!!!!!!!
She doesn't go to lunch unless I come in two minutes late(rarely) so she can complain. On snow days when NO ONE accept her and like one other person comes, SHE DOES, and then complains to my Boss "she was the only person who didnt come in yesterday" IN FRONT OF ME... (and I talked to everyone else,and know they didnt either!,HE told me not to come because school was out for Andrea. Then she says"you have a job to do" . No BITCH , you have a job to do....it's called "GETTING THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE and shutting up". Ugh...she drives me crazy!
I have been here 2 years, and I get more Christmas presents from the Subs than she does. You wanna know what her first assignment for me here was on my 2nd day? "Write a job description of everything I told you, in case you dont work out to make my load easier".
And who wears navy blue shoes and pants anymore? GrOSS!
I want to do more work, I am more qualified than this, but dont have the degree to prove it, and the pay here is way too good to pass up (plus, Im not risking anything with this economy) but it doesnt make it any easier to deal with. UGH!