Thursday, January 22, 2009
Now and later, I'd like a kiss on the cheek or forehead. Ok, so you forgot to take out the trash, or you hogged the remote.All it takes is one small kiss, and the rest is history.That's my payment, and it is cheap if you ask me. My daughter knows this. She's 5. It's not brain surgery.
See, around these parts, I am the HEAD HONCHO. I DO ALL THE DIRTY WORK. I GET stuff done! Oh, yeah...I said it. I let you hold that remote.Why? Because I am quietly doing more important things. In the scheme of things, my life will be more memorable. I will not be appreciated TODAY, but one DAY, I WILL BE. When she is a 25 year old Newleywed, and laundry is overflowing, the sink if overflowing and her husband is out watching the game with his friends, and she has been talking to "this company" and making "this appointment" and waiting on hold for "those Dr.s", she'll appreciate me. She will look at herself, and say "I am my MOTHER".And the chain begins. Her daughter will do the same. What rewards we don't get here on earth, will be given in Heaven, and some when everyone gets older.I know from experience.
So, while I wipe my brow, pick up laundry, work 40 hours a week, get up to get everyone off to work/school, make lunches,take everyone to appointments,and her to dance, and get your things to go fishing, she knows that it is not easy. You know that it is not easy. You tell me to relax. She just gives me a kiss on the forehead and says "you're the Best Mommy" . All she does is look into my eyes, and I melt. THAT WAS A REWARD in itself. The oppurtunity to get a chance to take care of her is a blessing IN ITSELF. I am overjoyed to get to do it.
So last night when you told me that you felt as though you were missing something or that your life was empty, I should have been more conccerned or sad for you. Instead I said " that is too bad, honey! My life is so full! I may be a slave in your eyes, and I may be underpaid and underappreciated. My hair is dark because I dont have the time or energy to go to the salon anymore, and I dont feel outwardly beautiful all of the time. But I feel good in my heart.People chase money and status, and when you get that let me know how you feel...because I may not have it, but I AM happy, and I feel fullfilled. I give to other people because I love them, and one day that will be poured back on me, if it hasnt been already. They may not love me, they may not pour it on me, but the learning experience,the universe,GOD will pour it back on me, either in my heart, or in heaven. I doubt it will be material, because I dont YEARN for that, but it may be.But it will be poured over me, just as much or as little as I poured it out. SO you take that for what it is worth. When you are sitting on the couch with your remote, who are YOU pouring anything out to? YOURSELF? Half-hearted? Well, that says it all. Many rich men get addicted to drugs,gambling or women....and die unhappy. Take that for what it is worth also"
This morning, as I slept on the couch, you gave me a kiss on the forehead as I slept. Why Now, ususally you say "Later" when I ask for anything. Ive been asking for a kiss on the forehead silently for 6 months! Is it because you think you'll NEVER be able to give it to me again???? Which is it.
This is what you sent me this morning.....
I've come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the choices I make everyday. It's my personal approach that creates the climate. It's my daily mood that makes the weather around myself and others sunny or rainy. As a human being, I possess a tremendous power to make others' lives miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and another person humanized or dehumanized. It's all up to me ( or you now).
Posted by Jade Bordeaux at 12:46 PM