I told myself that I would not be a blogger who blogs about one topic all of the time, and expects for people to give a rats ass. I am sure you all dont really want to read about the same damn thing everyday, right??? Ok, well....from the looks of things, you do. I know I do. I didnt think I did, but I keep going back to read about a woman who mostly writes about Renovating Her Brooklyn Limestone for ideas. It was refreshing to find out that Infertile Myrtle doesnt always talk about infertility, and her blogs are pretty amazing. I have already written about my stupid health problems (God knows that I feel like an old bat talking about them) but the more I read about my disease/problem,thorn in my side...whatever you want to call it, the more I want to share the news, and maybe helped and be helped by other women who have it.
I have told you before that I suffer from P.C.O.S.
Doctors still dont know much about P.C.O.S and if you find a doctor wo does, he/she is worth moe than her weight in Gold, really.
I read about P.C.O.S two years ago, and knew that it was what was wrong with me. I actually "stumbeled upon" this name while reading a Womens Health mag. I went to see doctor after doctor, even some of the "best" in my area. The last visit I had from a OBGYN "specialist" told me..."you are too thin to have P.C.O.S, and the hairs arent prominent enough". REally, lady....I am sorry that I have to tweeze every morning, and hd work today before coming in. If that had not been the case, I would have grown a full beard to prove it to you!" The thought of doing that, or the fact that my body could POSSIBLY (I dont know, never tried) do that...makes me want to cring and cry at the same time. Like I said, I have never gone a day without tweezing, so I dont know what could happen, but I do know that it is NOT normal. My boyfriend can tell you.
Truth be told, that in order to be diagnosed with P.C.O.S, you only need three symptons. You may not be overweight, you may not even have cysts, all you need are three underlying symptoms, and going to see a doctor who knew her shit, was well worth it to me!
I dont want to become pregnant again. I have no urge to ever mother another child. Its not that I dont love children, I do...its just that I realize how hard being a parent is, and I worry about and have such a bond with my daughter that I dont ever want to share that. I know that if I were to have more children, that it would come naturally to me, but I just can't imagine not playing favorites with her, even though...like I said, I am sure Id love them equally.
I understand how painful it must be to be told that you CANT have children though. I love not always having my period and not having to worry with birth control, but I understand that to many women, this is a curse, not a perk!
I tried to take birth control for these painful cysts, and it was hell. Id rather be in pain. (by the way, Andrea was a miracle. All children are, but she was sent down to me because I asked, over and over. I didnt want to have more than one child, I just wanted one girl. I wanted her so bad, at a young age, because I think sub-conscoulsly....I knew that she would save me, and that she would be the only person who could teach me how to love unconditionally.She did! Like I said...I learn more from her than she does from me. I could teach her 15 different languages and she could be a math wiz at 8, but still-I learned more from her by the time that she turned 2, than any teacher could EVER teach her.)
Anyways back to what I was saying, many women are concerned about this disease because of the problems it causes trying to become pregnant. I, however am more shallow, and only concerned about the physical effects that it has, and the pain that it causes.
I have taken Metformin, Spironolatone,etc, and have had terrible side effects. Does anyone else want to share theirs?
And Now Twelve
1 day ago