The Assignment

The Assignment is to write about your MOST MEMORABLE BLIND DATE. This is going to be bittersweet for me, because we are actually breaking up, but it is definitely the most memorable.

A blind date is normally one that happens when someone sets you up without you or the other person knowing what the other looks like. I think every date is blind, personally, because "looks" alone, to me are not THAT important (when it comes to HIM) and the personality and inner character is what I vibe off of. So, to me -all dates are blind, at first. It is years after you have dated, when you say to your Husband or Boyfriend..."hey, wanna go grab some wings and a beer, or I'm really in the mood for Hummus and Wine" that your dates are no longer blind. You know what to expect,and it goes as planned. The persons looks alone don't attract you, and you know that person the best that you will ever. Not part of the assignment..I'll shut up!

Nick and I were not set up. We had seen each other years and years before and liked each other very much.But both of us were in relationships, so it never went anywhere beyond a conversation. If I saw him at a party, instantly we drifted closer to each other, and then eventually outside,where we would tale and laugh casually. There were sparks, but just like sparks, they were hot, and short.They died out fast, as we had to leave each other's side, without a number or a kiss, or even...see you around. We knew we would.It is crazy, but I knew nothing of what Nick looked like. It was usually rather dark when we would run into each other, and back then all you needed was "confirmation" from your friends that a guy was hot. They "confirmed". All that I knew was that his hair was longer than most of the boys that we went to school with. He dressed very preppy, in Polo's ,smelled nice, had a nice smile, and his eyes smiled constantly.EVERYTHING else, was a mystery.
As the years went by, I didn't see Nick. I remembered him every time I saw a Johnny Lang CD that I kept in my car, just for the memories of Nick. His eyes, his scent, and The Dark...where we talked so freely, but no pressure was put on for anything else.That CD became one of my favorites.
I stayed with my boyfriend Ricky, for years,and we bumped into Nick. Nick and Ricky were FRIENDS, years and years ago.And I knew Nicks girlfriend all to well (now a good friend of mine, thanks to Cymbalta)as a friend who drove me NUTS!!! She had to go everywhere with me. Followed me to work, and then later when I told her that enough was enough, told me that her family was in the Mafia and out to kill me. she was a wreck. I felt bad for Nick, and didn't so much as look at him again. I held onto that CD though. I still didn't know what Nick looked like in the face or body. I just remembered his smell,and those eyes. His hair was shorter,and I didn't pay him as much attention. Especially now since he was "tainted" with this girl. I had to play nice to her for Ricky's sake (which didn't last long, she drove me crazy again) and she started showing up to my house to complain about Nick. I did not know the Nick she spoke of. He was completely separated from the Nick I knew. I didn't see Nick again for over 5 years.
A lot can change in 5 years. I left Ricky, had a baby, and left her father. I moved into a condo, and much to my surprise, it was close to Ricky's house. I ran into Ricky at the Mall, and we exchanged numbers and he asked me if I could dog sit his dog that weekend. Apparently she had surgery, and he felt uncomfortable leaving her with just anyone,but he had a wedding to attend in Colorado with his family. His dog was older, and remembered me. I agreed.
Ricky was not home, and it was just me and his dog watching Animal Planet, when the phone rang. Being nosy, I answered and it was Nick. He moved to New Bern, NC, and we talked for hours. Every day after that we talked for hours. He broke up with crazy pants, who I hadn't talked to in years either. (I love to death now that she is on medication, but she is still a lil crazy.) and was single. As was I.
We talked on the phone for hours a day for months. I was scared to see him, he was scared to see me. What if we didn't like what we had saw, we both had changed. I couldn't remember EXACTLY what color hair he had, and he couldn't remember mine either. We just remembered things such as smells or conversations or events that took place.
Nick told me that he loved me, before we ever saw one another. His mother got on the phone one as they were having lunch, to tell me that since her son met me, he walked with more "pep in his step" and whatever I did "to keep doing it"!!!
We agreed to meet on Queens Road, by his aunts house, after work. The drive was 5 hours for him, and he wouldn't be there until after dark,after work. I waited under a tree, in my car, in fear he would never show. I didn't know which house was his aunts, but he told me to park wherever I could, and he would pull up next to me. We finally talked as he pulled into Charlotte, both of us nervous, and we didn't quit talking on the phone, until he pulled up next to me. WE hung up the phones as we got out of our cars. We met each other at the hood of his car, and he hugged me. My knees went weak, and I felt as though I was floating. God gave me my soul-mate!!! We talked, and he kissed me. He went in to visit with his aunt, which I thought was a good idea to do alone, so that I could call a friend. I drove to my friend Kristin's house, where I cried, and threw myself on her bed, and declared that I would never fall in love again! I met him. He smelled the same as I remembered. It wasn't a cologne, it was almost a detergent smell, and it was the exact same.
We spent the weekend together.
He drove down every other weekend thereafter, and I came up once a month. Christmas is sad for me, Andrea goes to her dads because I don't have as much family. I was going to be all alone, and he surprised me with a tree and gifts. We ate Chinese food,and saw a movie. He loved New Bern, but eventually moved down here to be with me.Nothing ever measures up when a blind date is so good.
WOW, that's long.

I AM REALLY IRRAC-TACTED,today -he he

I am refrencing "American Idol" when I say that. Ha Ha.What the hell? How can you get "irratated" wrong. I say it all of the time. I am a proverbial idiot. If I can do it, so can you!!!
I am really not IRAC-TACTED today, y'all. Don't worry :D I am actually in GREAT spirits considering I am ending a two year relationship with my boyfriend, Im just at this point (I swear I mean this) appreciating my OWN bed, no snoring and control of the remote. I'll get sad in a few days and have something to say about it. for now, I am really happy. I just love MY SPACE, (not to be confused with "FaceSpace" stuff, I think that is all he understood of it). I like being able to BREATH!!! I love knowing that the toilet seat will be down and my ARSE wont fall in the pot when I pee at night. I like being able to take a hot shower, and actually get all of the suds out of my hair before it get's cold. I like no one trying to smoke ciggs in my house (like I wont know). Andrea loves ANYTHING I cook, and we are generally very happy together. I am looking forward to this, for now.

Peek-A-SHi,Peek-a-doodle,Shi-Pooh,What, huh?

LOOK AT THAT CUTIE UP THERE!!!!!!
Andrea wants a puppy! No surprise here. She is 5 and the "Lip-Nickies" (I refer to them as her Gma and father to her) have like 6 Chihuaha's,a pig, a few cats,a monkey, a gerbel, and a camel that they call "Louise" (ok, Im lying about the gerbel,camel, and monkey.Wouldn't surprise me though)But she is an animal lover and I think that is great. I like animals a lot as long as they are someone else's. It's just a lot of upkeep, and mantiance that I HAVE TO take care of. But I think it is important that I do it for her sake. You should see the way she lights up around animals. It is so sweet!
So, her and I were discussing what type of dog we want. I want something smaller, with a BIG DOG personality. I want it to be housetrained, and not to yap. I really want a Bull-Mastive. She wants something smaller, and I think that is probably best.

I hear that Poodles are very smart.She does not care as long as it does not bite and she can hold it like a baby and dress it up. I do think that is cute, but have never pictured myself with a Vera Bradley or Louis Vutton dog-carrier.I don't want to name it Tinkerbell. Small or Not, I want to name it something big, like "Bruiser", or "Butch". I had a cat once, it was a boy. He was Black. I named him "Betty". Whoa, Black Betty, blam a lam!

I walked into Tinderbox a while back to buy cigars for my boyfriend, and out came running at me, a Boxer and underneath and kind of with him, was a little teddy bear that barked, and ran. IT was the cutest lil puppy ever!!!! I asked what type of creature this was, and the owner of the store said "Peek-a=Pooh". "Peek-at-What", I said...she said "No, Peek-a-Pooh" Its a "Hybrid Dog". SO, I gathered that this dog takes less gasoline and can run on close to empty, and is better for the enviorment, and get this....IS BRED OUT OF DESIGN. A DESIGNER DOG. I'm SOOO THERE! How cool. I went to go look for this Peek-a-Pooh, and buy one for my Andrea. None looked like the teddy bear in Tinderbox. I was SOOO confused. Really its a gamble. Either it will or will not look like some or most of one dog or another, and the same goes for it's temperment. I do not know how this dog is good for the enviorment, but Mixed Breeds normally live longer, so there is my "run on less fuel" analogy. Hmmmmmm.Got me thinking. Why not a Shi-Pooh, or a CockaDoodle? Or is it Cock-a-Pooh, or Laba-doodle? Whatever happened to calling it a "Good Old Fashion Mutt"? What is this world coming to? I don't know, but some of them sure are cute!

I am GOING TO SAY IT! Sorry-kinda!

GOD BLESS OBAMA, I am PROUD OF HIM!I am not a liberal. I have LOTS of friends who are, and that's cool with me. Everyone assumes I am, but I'm not. I'm a republican, but I think mostly it's out of Religion, and defiance of anything my parents tried to instill in me.That's why I am not a COMPLETE F-up.
My parents are Agnostic. C'mon. Be Atheist,be Buddhist, be Christian or Pagan, but AGNOSTIC? That means (probably not for everyone, just my parents) "I don't want to have to obey ANY rules that I don't like, so I won't pray until shit hits the fan, then I'll decide what I think seems most realistic".Okay! I am a Christian, not a model one, and I don't announce it to everyone. You will not see me with a "Honk if You Love Jesus" sticker on my car. I don't want to give someone the wrong idea about Christians. We aren't ALL hypocrites, just me. I guess, but not really. I try to live right. But I slip sometimes.I am not judgemental or in your way or annoying about my Faith...and I will curse you out in traffic, so I shouldn't have the bumper sticker!That would not be "rep'N" God very well.
Anywho.....
I didn't vote for Obama. I like the guy. He seems cool. I don't have big opinions on abortion,gay marriage, or whatever. Different Strokes for different folks. I can see both angles.I do HOWEVER, feel strongly about PARTIAL BIRTH abortion. But it is only for "certain circumstances". Oh, WOW! Why didn't you say so??? What IS A GOOD REASON FOR HAVING A BABY KILLED IN THAT WAY, when it could live in an incubator and be adopted.I have friends who would LOVE to adopt a child HERE IN AMERICA.Okay, so it takes you 6 months to decide if you want to KEEP your BABY, TOO F'IN BAD! Don't kill it, put it up for adoption. You were raped and locked in a closet for however long, WELL YOU LASTED THIS LONG, put it up for ADOPTION, what's a few more months of living with the pain of being raped and impregnated by the rapist. It does suck, that is awful, but it wasnt the babies fault. In certain HEALTH risk situations, I can understand it....but anytime else, I think it is wrong.So, that bothered me .....along with the fact that I am republican (I didn't LOVE Bush, but 'mon, he had a LOT to deal with, and no one liked Lincoln when he was in office either). But you wanna know what bothered me MOST? That people were voting for him based on COLOR alone. REALLY? WAsnt it MArtin Luther King who said "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."
And more so many African Americans voted AGAINST PROP 8, but FOR OBAMA. That is not his fault, that is our FEEBLE MINDED Citizens fault!
I LOVE the fact that we have a black president, even though I don't completely agree with him, and I do think this day is monumental. But before this day happened, when people were voting, I was very upset. People lost their lives for EQUALITY. To not be JUDGED BY THE COLOR of their skin, and then people who have never ever voted before in their LIVES, rush to vote FOR someone because of his color.
If I sat in a church that talked negatively about my mother's race, or ANY race for that matter, for once SECOND, I would get up and leave!!!!! And if I heard that a White Presidential Candidate attended a church that preached "anti-any color" I would not give him my vote, especially if he got married there,attended for 20 YEARS, and had BOTH children baptized there. When did it sink in that it might be KINDA racist?
I am sorry, but if I were not white, this would still bother me, but because I AM WHITE, it is wrong for me to say that it does? I can't poke fun at blacks on television, and there is no W.E.T...as I shouldn't and there shouldn't be. If we want EQUALITY, that's Exactly what everyone should get. Don't vote or NOT vote for someone based on their skin color. I don't even see why COLOR should be discussed. NO special treatments like MINORITY ACHEIVMENT. To me that is BELITTLING them. ACHIEVEMENTS SHOULD ALL BE RECOGNIZED, this isnt the SPECIAL OLYMPICS, its a race, and there are smart,capable, black people!!!!! African-American, REALLY? I am not IRISH-AMERICAN, yet much more Irish than many people are African. Once you are born in America, you are AMERICAN!The end. I think all of that stimulates the victim mentality. I hate what my ancestors did, but that wasnt ME. I DONT DESERVE TO BE CALLED A CRACKER, just like you dont deserve to be called a "name I wont say". "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King, Jr. "
So, much like my parents with their religion choice...many people chose to listen to SOME of Dr.Kings message, if they LIKE it, but not ALL!
So, while I didn't vote for Obama, I pray that he does succeed.We need it, but I also pray that he shows HOW CAPABLE people are, AND THERE ARE NO EXCUSES.RACISM IS A DOUBLE EDGED SWORD.








Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

IM NOT WEARING MAKEUP TODAY, NOT SICK!!!

If one more man asks me if I am sick today because I am not wearing makeup, I'm gonna beat them with my boot! Seriously! I can not STAND THAT!!!
I am not wearing makeup today because a hyena bit off half of my face. Or at least that's my story. Not as interesting is what really happened. I know not to pick at pimples, but I did. I picked and picked and picked, a HOLE into my face, a BLOODY HOLE. I think I was pretending it was someone else's. I subconsciesly was! No DOUBT. He lives in a tin can....the other one lives with me (and is calling me now,jackass). I am not a cutter, nor do I like to hurt myself. I don't like pain unless it is from the gym (and then I hate doing legs, that's y I have chicken legs), but I see where people could do that. Kinda.Anywho...back on topic
I didnt wear makeup because everything hurts the right side of my face. My SENSITIVE skin lotion, my tinted mosturizer, even my Bobbie Brown Clay Concealor Stick. So what's the point of doing one half and not the other, and I just didnt feel like doing my makeup this morning anyways. I HAVE A hole in my face that looks like I have the HERPES. SO.........
I had a dream years and years ago, about picking away at my face, and tenicles growing out of it (one time when talking to my boss about this dream I said "testicles" on accident. Imagine his face) WIld dream....I was really insecure about it in my dream (ya think?) and tried to cover it with a towell and act like nothing happend. NOT THE BRIGHTEST BULB IN THE SOCKET, NOW AM I? I hope it doesnt leave a scar.
But anywho...I wear very natural makeup, (accept for my eyes). I wear tinted moisturizer. I do not try to look like Tammy Faye, so why the hell is EVERYONE asking me if I am sick? Where is my makeup bag?............UGH,That is so rude.
Hey Ted, you're stomach is sticking out today...Are you constipated?
Hey, Lou...You're walking a little funnier today than usual, is it a stick up your ARSE, or hemroihds? Just wondering
Updated 1/22/09
This is a bad day, broken out, unwashed hair and wait til you see the outfit (gotta take from my desk).

Store Policy........

....until I saw this photo.IF you want to turn your head sideways and look you will see. Im lazy today. I could not believe how PREGO it made me look. I bought it for 79.99 AT STUPID B.R
I went back a week later, and it was 49.99. YEP,ONE WEEK!!!!!!!!!! I loved that shirt, so I did what any cheapskate would do and I told them, "HEY, I shop here all the time, and I never see deals this good so quick, I bought this shirt..it makes me look pregnant, but I want to keep it, but I dont think that it right about the whole sale thing", and you know what??? Stupid Banana REpublic, gave me the money back on my card...Apparently, it's store policy.
Another Store Policy that I SHOULD NOT KNOW OR TELL, is that Nordstroms (I'm kicking myself for opening my big mouth right now)HAS TO RETURN ANY ITEM THEY HAVE IN STORE, or have had in the past 6 months. SO.........The Urban Legend IS!!! When the first Nordstrom was built it was a tire store before. Some Corn-Bucket brought his tire back to THAT store and was too stupid to notice all the FAB-O clothes and tried to get a refund for his TIRE...The Manager did it, and ever since then, they don't hassle you about returns. Can you return a TIRE? I dont know, never tried...but once apon a time, before I had a child, I had a lil money to spend on silly things, and I bought my friend a pair of Chanel Glasses, and her whore ass returned them and got the cash...yep-sho did. The point WAS SHE RETURNED THEM TO NORDSTROM 2 years later. I bought them at Solstice (pr whatever the place is called).
Now, I would never ever go that far, that is stealing-BUT, I did buy a pair of Joe's Jeans around Christmas in Columbia at Belks. After Christmas I realized they were way too big, and I didnt see the ones I liked at Belks and couldnt find the receipt. Without any questions, or tags, Nordstrom exchanged them for the right pair, at the jeans counter, on the spot.
Chivalry might be dead, but customer service in the Fashion Industry IS NOT!

My second ATTEMPT at Scrapbooking!!!

My first I ripped up on accident because it was mostly based on a relationship, and I was immature at the time, and I've only gotten worse in some areas.
Yes, you heard it right..I am new to blogging,new to scrapbooking (as a hobby) and I feel like it! I don't know where to start. I don't know whether to wind my butt or scratch my watch.This isn't brain surgery, or even as hard as your tax's or counting money.I need ideas. I need a direction. I need to an order and organazation, or is that the beauty in it?
Oh,well. I had a photo album put together for Andrea, and I am thinking about making this one into a "current" themed book, then going back into her photo album and making a "baby" themed book.
If only the douchebag would give me all of my pics from my pregnancy. :( Now, now Jade-stay nice!

So any ideas? Any pointers or tips? Do I have any readers?Hello, Hello-o-o-o-o-.Anyone out there-er-er-er-er? Prob. not since I can not get that "adult content" page to come off. Oh, well. God bless you if you do read, and I hope not to dissapoint :D

TIN ROOF!!!!!!!!!! RUSTY

Andrea's father and grandmother are from Mars, or Venus or Mercury..I don't really know, but definitely not from this planet.
I usually don't speak to her father. He is IGNORANT, so I chose to speak to his mother, at least she can "fake" nice and human for short periods of time.
So, since Andrea's father doesn't speak for himself,and his Mommy and I were talking about pick up time (I let her stay a day w Gma for the holiday,since Martin Luther King Day is a holiday to everyone accept my racist company (jk)) and I mentioned that I needed $70 for Andrea's Dance. I said it in a nice,almost sheepish voice(not like me, but towards them I am not myself) and she said "We'll need to see receipts". I need $35 for half of the MONTHLY expense for her dance, and $35 for half of her costume for the recital. That makes $70,biatch.(accept I didnt say the last part) She told me "I didn't call for this, you can talk to ----" (Andrea's father). Really? When? Because when I call, he doesn't pick up,and when we do talk he is rude and illogical.
I could go on and on for days about why he is no person to point a finger and be "holier than thou" to anyone, but I will start by saying that....
*HE is 30, just got married after having a few women pregnant (all who have ???miscarriages???)and every girl he meets becomes a live in girlfriend )Jessica,Tonya,Nicole,Jennifer,Shannon,Mia, and "wifey" since Andrea was born.
*He lives in a trailer (nothing wrong with that unless a storm hits)that his mother paid for, and just now is taking care of his electricity bill.
*He has no ambition,I don't even KNOW what he does for a living, but I promise you it's in the line of carwashing or oil changes...which would be fine-IF HE WANTED TO MOVE UP, OR OUT!!!!
*He told me that he thinks if Andrea were to ever see a therapist...that would turn her into a retard! (really, is that what happened to you?)
*His mom lives behind him and his girlfriend has no job (shes a model???) and a child of her own.
*He quit his job when I told him I was taking him to court for child support
(he warned that he would do this, but I never believed him. He didnt think that would work did he?)
*He paid for a lawyer to take custody of my daughter when I took him to court for child support ( if I was a bad mother, dont you think you should have tried to take her 4 years earlier...no, its about the $$$$)
* He gave me $200 a month for the first four years of her life, no complaining then about my parenting...but once the judge in my county threw TRIPLE THAT AT YOUR" UNemployed ASS" you became concerned.(at least he gave ussomething)
..ugh I could go on and on, but I'll stop.
I probably wouldnt be so frustrated if it werent in the court docs that he has to pay me, and I could get in touch with the Dance Instructor/Owner for recipets! AHHHH


And what does it say about me, to judge him and if he is such a loser, what does it say about me to have dated him. We are so different, but something had to be there at one time, right? HE was cute and had a nice car...at 18,that's all that matters. No one is ALL bad. I just needed to vent.

DEAR LORD,
PLEASE HELP ME TO BE PATIENT AND LOVING WITH THOSE AROUND ME. PLEASE HELP ME TO NOT ANGER EASILY AND TO BE GOOD EXAMPLE TO MY DAUGHTER, THAT EVEN WHEN WE ARE TESTED, THAT WE LOVE OUR ENEMIES. DEAR LORD, I PRAY THAT YOU LET ME SEE WITH YOUR EYES AND TO FEEL WITH YOUR HEART AND THAT ANY HARSH FEELINGS THAT I HAVE FOR THESE PEOPLE,SHED AWAY.
THANK YOU FOR THEM LORD, BECAUSE WITHOUT THEM,THERE WOULD BE NO ANDREA,AND I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH.THANK YOU LORD,FOR ANY TIME THAT I AM TESTED, BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU,MY TEACHER AND MY FATHER, HAS A LESSON IN STORE FOR ME TO BECOME A WISE WOMAN.MOTHER,FRIEND,AND SISTER IN JESUS.
GOD BLESS US ALL RIGHT NOW.
IN THE NAME OF THE LORD CHRIST JESUS I PRAY,
AMEN
Am I one person or two???hmmmmm

First WRITTEN word

My daughter wrote this a few days over a year ago. This was her first written word. FREE
She didn't know what she wrote or why she wrote it, to her it was just play. Of coarse me being me, and me being a mother, (probably more of the "me being me" part) I read into it. "free". Does she want to be "free" of me? ha ha-no way. I know she likes to get "free" things bc whenever someone gives her money, she wants me to spend mine instead. But maybe it means something more. Maybe one day I will see. Until then...I just had to show everyone, my daughters first written word.

Are You a Dripping Faucet, or Squeeling Breaks?

I've heard it mentioned in the Bible that a "nagging wife is like a dripping faucet". I don't remember if these were exact words, but I know it was something to that degree. A dripping faucet is annoying, I must agree...but is it not an indicator that something is wrong? It is both annoying, yet and indication that something is wrong (faucets aren't supposed to leak) but it also represents something else. When your faucet is dripping, and you are waiting for the plumber to fix it, or it is dripping in the middle of the night while you are tired and have your mind set on something else, you try to tune it out. You know that there is something not quite right, but for the time being, doing whatever you are doing is more important, or easier to obtain than that dealing with that dripping faucet, so you ignore it. Ignore it until it fades away, till you have gotten used to it and can tune it out.While this action makes you maybe apathetic, or lazy, it does not make you a bad person....and the faucet is just a nagging indicator that you should get off your lazy ass and work on it....but either way, no one wants to hear torturous drips.If you actually listen, it can make you go crazy.A few weeks ago my brakes started squealing at me, I noticed it, but put off fixing "whatever was wrong with them" (I know nothing about cars,accept that I had my brake pads changed a year ago) until after Christmas. It might be $70, and I'd rather pay that after Christmas. Then as I was driving to work one day, this high pitched squeal soon became a mean and angry grind, with more force and more power than the high pitched yet short squeal...then as I was pulling out of the Starbucks parking lot, with a thud, as if to have just given up and been completely defeated, my brake pad fell out of my car, and my brakes no longer worked AT ALL! When I called around, everyone seemed to say the same thing, "if you only would have listened when it was squealing at you, this would be so much cheaper". "If I only would have listened when it was squealing"!!!...hmmmmm-this got me thinking. ( a great friend and her great brother in law helped me tremendously with the brakes-God bless them)I relate more to the squealing brakes than I do the dripping faucet. When something is wrong, I AM LOUD AND I AM GOING TO BE HEARD, I PUT ALL OF MY ENERGY INTO MAKING IT KNOWN,I do not have the patience to drip at the same pace quietly....I first complain, then I yell, then I give up, and with a feeling of defeat,I give up and am done. No little quick fixes here and there to change things back to the way they were, like brakes pads would have done weeks ago for the brakes, now it is more expensive. No hugs are going to bandage these feelings, talking about the future or a kiss on the forehead wont repair what the problem is. When you don't change your break pads fast enough, it can wear out your rotors, then if let go long enough, your calibers have to be replaced too and this gets pricey. So does neglecting the maintenance of our relationship, and I think sometimes it would be cheaper for you just to buy a new car.At this point I could become too much work, and I have given up on calling for help or believing things will get done.